Strange sensations with med change....

[Rising Phoenix]

Due to horrible and potentially dangerous reaction to my dose of seroquel it was cut in half overnight about two and a half weeks ago. Of course there are the normal reactions....trouble sleeping, irritability and some stomach upset. However, and I guess just as normal but in an entirely different category of reactions, I have become very depressed. I am sure part of that is the chemical change in my brain, but I attribute most of it to the fact that I'm not knocked off my ass by anti psychotics. I am feeling emotions for the first time this week regarding events that happened two, three, even 10 years ago. I FEEL everything now. This is slowly settling down as I work through the feelings in healthy ways i.e. I have not cut, smoked, drank, binged, purged, restricted, or self abused in any way, with the exception of a little too much retail therapy. I have not been so people pleasing as I need to deal with my onset of physical and emotional symptoms and am finding myself more respected, appreciated, and likeable......go figure I also have started writing again. It has been years since I put pen to paper in any significant and productive way, now I can not stop, be it taking notes, jotting ideas or writing full blown essays and poems. Depression really fuels the verbal artist in me.

I have an appt early next week with pdoc and therapist to check up on how I am doing. I am hoping for some relief from the depression, so as I may sleep, eat, shower, and stop crying.

I hope this post isn't too confusing. The one thing no amount of therapy or psychotropic drugs have been able to stop is my tendency to make a difficult, or even traumatic experience sound light hearted, happy and optimistic. My sister hates when I do that. lol

I'll keep you all posted....off to discover who I actually am.

[hedgehog]

1. Another optomistic depressive! Proof that this is a real disease and

not all in our heads (so to speak!) Stay hopeful!
:D