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I even hate to mention it because the last time I touched on something to do with my problems, I got lambasted by a few people. I mentioned I thought I was much smarter than my counselor and people thought I was being arrogant. Not true. I was upset to figure this out. I can't help it if I'm very intelligent in some ways. To balance it out, I have a limited understanding of mathematics and couldn't find my way out of a paper sack--terribly sense of direction, you know. I was only being honest with myself.
During the past week or so I've crashed. The future doesn't look pretty and I'm back under the influence of family, which I don't like at all. I'm also worried about my best friend whose health has been failing. He's unhealthy because he's extremely obese. He's planning to undergo gastric bypass surgery, but because of his health problems, I'm afraid he won't make it through the surgery or the aftermath. He has COPD and is predisposed to contracting pneumonia, which has almost killed him in the past.
Also, I've been playing the "what if" game, which is very bad for emotional health. Had I not succumbed to depression and other illnesses, I might have been able to do more with my art, my music, my intellect. As it is, I am a failure by American standards.
Someone wanna try to cheer me up?
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