Having trouble holding the light today ... anyone else?

[mysticalchick]

I am, by nature, an introvert and prefer being alone with my coffee, cats and laptop. Hanging out and doing the "how's the weather" thing with people wears me the hell out. Perhaps it's the holidays or whatnot, but today it takes all I have not to go sit my ass in a closet in the dark and just BE. Fortunately, I am going to my gathering of woo-woo chicks where the convo will be anything BUT chit-chat so that might help restore me.

I really do try to hold the Light for others and be up and positive and whatever but today, I just feel worn down and grumpy. Anyone else feel this way? Or do I just need more coffee?

MC

[OneGrassRoot]

1. lol....I'm with you, Mysticalchick :)

Sadly, I feel that way most of the time. I assumed it was decades of the empath thing that led to my chosen life of isolation. For the first time in ages I've had five days completely to myself, plus two kitties. :) Normally I'm running around like a crazy woman taking my teenage daughter here and there and trying to keep my head above water with work and online projects.

I thought I would get soooooo much done over the last week.

But, nope. I have been a complete slug, and it doesn't feel good. Not the rested feeling after slug behavior. ;) I have no energy at all and, yes, I've been pretty grumpy. I have watched a ton of movies for the first time in years, however. ;)

Okay, I'll try more coffee now as well...see if that helps. I really, really need to get some work done before the week starts tomorrow. Ughhhhhh.......

:hug:

[Sienna86]

2. Sunday morning

I feel somewhat the same. A week off work with the kids, and I've accomplished little more than shoveling snow and watching some movies. I'm thinking I need to let go of my expectations of what should be, and accept that perhaps this is what my mind and body needed - a lazy week.

Enjoying my coffee too...

[OneGrassRoot]

3. Welcome, sunflower99!!!

Wow, I don't think I've ever had the privilege of "meeting" someone with their first post here at DU. I'm honored, and especially so that you have chosen this forum for your entry.

:hi:

Guess the sluggish thing is pretty common after the heightened stress of December, leading into the holiday season (whether we actively participate or not -- I didn't...lol -- there's still the pressure feeling all around, IMO).

Enjoy your coffee and, again, welcome!

:hug:

[Kookaburra]

4. Exactly what you needed!!!

Don't fight it, and don't feel guilt over it. You need some downtime, especially when the days provide less sunlight and our bodies naturally slow down. Enjoy the time with the kids.

Hey, Welcome to DU. You'll like it here.

[conscious evolution]

5. A little bit,but

it is important to keep shining.
Why? Well,I did an IChing casting the other day.I asked'why is it important to continue radiating light?'
This is what it answered with.

11. T'ai / Peace

---- ----
---- ---- above K'un The Receptive, Earth
---- ----
----------
---------- below Ch'ien The Creative, Heaven
----------

The Judgement

Peace. The small departs,
The great approaches.
Good fortune. Success.

The Image

Heaven and earth unite: the image of Peace.
Thus the ruler
Divides and completes the course of heaven and earth;
He furthers and regulates the gifts of heaven and earth,
And so aids the people.

[conscious evolution]

7. More synchronisity

I just took a look at the coffe mug I grabbed this morning.
It says-

You Are A Star

To be a star
you must shine your own light,
Follow your own Path,
and don't worry about the darkness,
For that is when stars shine their Brightest.

[Callie McAllie]

8. "The small departs, The great approaches."

Sounds like inauguration day to me!

Back to this thread, I have also been sluggish, thought I would get so much done in this time off, but I don't seem to do it. Usually I am buzzing around here like mad, but this week not at all. I clap myself on the back for doing a load of laundry. I took three naps!

And like you said, it doesn't feel good. That's the weird thing. I highly respect the need to just veg once in a while, and relish being able to do it now and then, but this doesn't feel like that. I'm bored, antsy, and unproductive.

I hope it will pass soon.

PS. Welcome to the group, Sunflower!

[liberalmuse]

6. More coffee with light creamer might help.

Sorry, that was uncalled for! I'm having trouble too. I like to come to this forum because the people are so positive, and I am learning a lot of interesting things. I'm also an introvert like yourself and have been having trouble holding the light so was drawn to your post.

Now I'm reading about this moon in Capricorn thing and find it all so fascinating. I do think there is something to astrology. For weeks I had been worried about someone hitting the back of my car while it was in the parking lot (the snow and such), which is weird. I'd even got up in the night to make sure it was okay. Well, at exactly midnight on Friday, the parking shelter collapsed onto the back of my car. Did I sense this, or did I create this, or was it just a coincidence? I am not claiming to have 'powers' and I darn well know I'm not psychic. It was just weird that out of a couple dozen shelters, that one collapsed and my car was the only car in it at the time. Perhaps it was merely bad luck.

I've witnessed how thoughts do indeed create, but normally it takes me anywhere from 3-10 years to make my thoughts a reality. It was just weird, but the good thing is, now I don't have that 'foreboding' anymore about my car, LOL. Anyway, would anyone think this might be that Moon in Capricorn* thing? Should I take it as a sign, or just not park my car under wooden shelters when there is 5 inches of snow on the roof?

*Or is it Pluto in Capricorn?

[Shallah Kali]

9. The deep dark of winter. It is understandable to want to hibernate

It is a wonderful thing to want to hold the light and share it with others but everyone needs a break at least once in a while. Honor your longing for the peace and darkness and solitude even if for only five minutes alone in a restroom or closet. Picture a starry night somewhere special to you, you wish to go or just make something up. Picture it with or without the moon, and wrap your being in the velvety darkness. If you like drink in the starlight and moonlight. Remember darkness is not always absence of spiritual Light but of physical light. There is the comforting darkness of night which brings restful sleep. There is the nurturing darkness of rich fertile soil. There is the living darkness a mother's womb.

[FirstLight]

10. ToTally! I am SO right ther with you!

seems that typing an exclamation point is about as fiesty as I can muster!

I decided to stay home today and be antisocial, too. Usually I am inspired and "want" to be around my Church family, but this weekend I have been in hibernation mode. I ache, and have a TON of stuff to catch up on - from vacuuming and sweeping the kitchen (ewww grungy floors!) to filling out paperwork that should have been turned in a week ago

and I am just UN inspired.

I also feel like it is like a shaking off of the addiction to shadow self in some ways too. I don't like some of my behaviors and know that to really make this year different, I have to shift my patterns and silly wastes of time
BUT - I still find myself sitting in front of the TV til 2am like a zombie watching movies I don't need to watch and smoking cigarettes, etc...

I think this has to do with Pluto energy for sure. I was always told that Pluto and the 12th house were the "place of self un-doing" ...so those habits and attitudes that are contrary to our better Light-Heartedness are being pulled into the open.
And while doing 'battle' with those demons isn't producive, neither is sinking into it if we know better. It is the choice to hold the Light for ourselves - even if we are being secluded and hibernating ...we still have to practice holding the Light

in fact I would wager it is harder to hold the Light IN and FOR ourSELVES than it is for others...
what a way to enter the new year, eh?

[demgrrrll]

11. Please tell me about the self undoing part, does that mean that people

who have done bad things will undo themselves, that is what I sense.

[FirstLight]

12. This may take a while...let me 'splain

I have a great book I have used for amateur astrology for years "Mythic Astrology" tells the stories of the planets and the signs as the myths of the archetypes they have been symbolizing... so Pluto was the overlord of the underwporld, but not in a bad way...just that someone had to do it, and he was the one.

I am going to read through the chapter and pull out the nuggets...I'll be right back! Thanks for asking, I amn a cappy so this one is hitting ME really hard too...

[FirstLight]

13. too much info for a reply...started a new thread

:)

enjoy...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=245x81394

[lildreamer316]

14. I'm just tired.

Not really grumpy, just no energy.
Hope you can feel better...

[gblady]

15. I'm having trouble, too....

I am generally able to stay into a fairly positive place...
see the big picture and keep holding the light...

but today...it's difficult...feeling frightened about the future.
Little or no joy/enthusiasm in the now...very tired of it all.

I know this too shall pass...it always does.

[mysticalchick]

16. Thanks for the thoughts ...

... Yesterday was just a crappy day and it took me until about 7pm to come back to feeling like my regular self. Not sure what my deal was. But it was nice to commiserate and allow those who do feel the light to hold me up. Support is a wonderful thing.

Happy Monday to you all!

[Celebration]

17. I took an NADH this morning

I feel very calm and focused. However, nothing would make me like the "how's the weather" thing. So, I am at home, but I haven't retreated to the closet. My house is pretty filled with people coming and going over Christmas vacation, though.

I do recommend sublingual NADH to combat the blahs. The good thing about it is usually there is an immediate effect.

[mysticalchick]

19. I looked NADH up online but couldn't glean much from the info

Can you tell me more about it?

[Celebration]

20. the reason I hesitated to give a web page

Is that the main one sounds so hucksterish. They even have an infomercial that makes you want to roll your eyes. Weirdly enough, NADH is wonderful.

NADH is a naturally occuring compound that is part of the krebs cycle. We all have it in our bodies. An Austrian physician figured out a way to make the NADH bioavailable and did some studies at Georgetown University.

NADH is probably good for a lot of things, although it is marketed for clear thinking. Probably it would be a good preventative for Parkinson's and Alzheimer's disease. It probably would also be helpful in ADHD, etc., and for depression. It is more specific to mental energy than physical energy. It is something I personally feel that everyone should try before going on those SSRIs that doctors hand out like candy. NADH is a precursor to serotonin and hormones that affect the brain.

It is probably best to buy sublingual NADH for best and easiest bioavailabity.

There usually are some pretty good deals at www.iherb.com

Everyone needs a different amount, but you can tell because of the way you feel.

[gblady]

21. thanks for the info....

and the iherb link....

I needed to put in an order and there's a 10% discount til Dec. 31...
I get all my supplements through them...they are much less expensive,
and deliver very fast at low shipping rates.

[FirstLight]

18. My sleep patterns are way off, wierd dreams,

anyone else? last night was really disturbing, medical dreams and dead babies, deformed, (lost dreams?)

I just woke up at 10am! and I am supposed to be at my client's house ...called and pushed the day to noon. meanwhile, I have lots of "business" to take care of and have been staring at the pile of invoices and papers to fill out for a week or more, got enails o answer, people to call.... not motivated...just wanna sleep. soak in the tub and zone out.

hibernation may have a grip on me too
and I am supposed to be rocking a new job offer this week and my stamina has me doubting whether I can actually DO a real 30-40 hour week comittment....