I know that the purpose of Shift is for the old way to become "un-useable" so that the new form of being/doing/creating cane take precedence. I know that we are in the midst of that transition and it means we are shifting & changing as well to be better evolutionary creatures...beings of truth light & love..instead of deception, anger and fear.
I also know that I have to give up the ways I have viewed the world and responded to my relationships..casual, work, family, etc...
but sheesh! I had no idea that my heart would break so open and so much.
That my body and my mind and my soul would be intertwined in such painful emotion
that I would have to re-learn the basic fundamentals of TRUST, FAITH, HOPE
I feel like a child and like I don't know what I have been doing for the past 38 years...
and the overwhelming grief and feeling like I CAN"T MAKE IT is so tangible...
On top of everything personally, I can barely bear to think about the world at large. too much in my own world to deal with, my shoulders are not that big!
and I know it is going to get worse before it gets better
and my job just informed me I am on probation for the rest of the year (lots of reasons, I work for my church, and I have been sick and gone ALOT, and other stuff...and they are going broke...) and my hours are getting cut to 10 or less by January...so in the midst of health problems, and a paralyzing grief, I have to find a new job? and try and "sell myself"..? ack!
It get's better right? I am wondering how to survive this Shift, when I "know" so many tools, meditation, prayer, etc...and I am empty - don't know how to get over the hurdles
Here's an interesting piece I found on the emotions of it:
"Feeling our way to a New World"
http://www.lightworkers.org/content/55344/feeling-our-way-to-a-new-worldIt is really beautiful, and yet I am still "stuck in the muck" :cry: