The difference between thoughts and intentions

[oxbow]

As I heal, I'm letting go of a lot of negative thoughts and emotions. I've tried to stay positive and hopeful as I go through this time in my life. However, I have to allow myself to be authentic too, to grieve and be myself and feel all of the things that I stuffed down until now.

One of the things that has been bothering me lately is the concept that negativity attracts more of the same, that fearing something enough can bring it to pass. I don't really have a choice right now in how I feel most of the day. I have a lot of fear to grapple with, and I have to face it honestly in order to let it pass.

As I'm doing this work, I keep telling myself that I'll be ok, that my fears won't become reality. I don't have control over my thoughts, but I do control my intentions. And my intentions are to be kind and patient with myself, and for only good things to come my way. I ask God to protect me from my own fears and negativity while I heal, but I still don't feel safe because of this a lot of the time. Can anyone help me understand what it is that I'm not getting here?

[mrl821]

1. I just read a book about this...

Hi! I just finished reading a book about this very thing a couple of months ago. It's called "The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent" by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The basic idea is that there is this law of attraction. Whatever you focus on, you'll attract. If you focus on positive things, you attract positive things and if you focus on negative things, you'll attract negative things.

However, like you said, you can't just force positivity when you are feeling fear or negativity. You have to be honest with yourself. The book describes this thing called an Emotional Guidance Scale.
It is a scale of 22 different emotions:

1. Joy/Knowledge/Empowerment/Freedom/Love/Appreciation
2. Passion
3. Enthusiasm/Eagerness/Happiness
4. Positive Expectation/Belief
5. Optimism
6. Hopefulness
7. Contentment
8. Boredom
9. Pessimism
10. Frustration/Irritation/Impatience
11. "Overwhelment"
12. Disappointment
13. Doubt
14. Worry
15. Blame
16. Discouragement
17. Anger
18. Revenge
19. Hatred/Rage
20. Jealousy
21. Insecurity/Guilt/Unworthiness
22. Fear/Grief/Depression/Despair/Powerlessness

Now, the idea is that if you are having feelings of fear, you can't just immediately jump up to say, happiness. Your subconscious mind would know that it is false. But you can slowly work your way up. If you start in a place of fear, you could try to move your emotional level up to insecurity and that would be a step closer to the top but still within your range of what you are feeling now. Does this make any sense?

[oxbow]

7. Thanks and welcome to DU

I read a lot of Esther Hicks through the "Daily Dose of Gratitude" yahoo-group I subscribe to. Her philosphy makes much more sense when you describe it. I think my problem was that I was just getting a onesided view of things. Thanks for the help and I hope you stick around..:hi:

[undergroundpanther]

2. Law of attraction applies

AS far as I can observe in social situations only,if you look glum people might assume you don't want to be bothered.If you are clingy people stay away.No gambler with lodestone dust in his pocket was ever guarunteed a win by the"law of attraction" yet people still buy rabbits feet and pick 4 leaf clovers hoping money will be attracted to them and they lose money.Casino owners don't blow thier big bucks from desperate gamblers hoping the "law of attraction" will work for them this tinme..on lodestones and lodstone food(iron shavings) for a reason. It is because
Law of attraction is a superstition.a magickal theory at best.Word faith preachers rely on it to get "seed money"It is not a science or a sure law of cause and effect that is repeatable like gravity is ok? If It was I'd be a lotto winner 20 times over by now.


Truthfully
I hope you feel better and heal soon. I hope you have some freinds to syupporrt you,and professional help if you need it.And I really hope you can learn to trust yourself enough as you are to let yourself heal before you try to put the world's issues on your own shoulders by self censoring and controlling you very thoughts. You seem to be saying you are in pain right now. Focus on having empathy for yourself.Don't pick apart every thought or intention as if it is dangerous and could hurt the world or ruin your life and make the law of attraction make you untattactive. That is simply not so. Be kind to yourself.. The world can wait.

Hugs,
Panther.

[mrl821]

3. I think that its all about belief.

If you believe in it, it works. If you don't, it doesn't.

[cassiepriam]

4. My .02

You are presenting one of those complicated questions, and I am sorry to have to give you a somewhat complicated answer. It covers your question from a spiritual as well as psychological angle.

From a spiritual point of view, I believe that we are on this earth to learn some lessons, and to further our soul evolution. We came back in a human body for that purpose.

I believe strongly that we are not to be blissed out and in nirvana all the time on earth, or what was the point of incarnation in a human body? We might as well have stayed on the other side. We are meant to learn what it is to be human and feel and experience the whole range of human emotions, good and bad. This is a piece of what shapes our soul and is a piece of our karmic destiny.

And we also need to feel the consequences of our actions and decisions on a feeling level. That is called a conscience, that is called being normal and healthy. (Think of an extreme example, the sociopaths who cannot feel anything, and therefor can never learn right from wrong, can never feel any pain or remorse at the evil they have done. And likewise we need to feel the sadness associated with loss, to help us understand the importance of love and not having it etc.)

HOwever we are not meant to stay victims and martyrs and be stuck in negative feelings forever. We have to feel the feelings, be human, for the purpose of learning the lesson we need to learn. To face it all with courage and faith and gain some wisdom from the pain. Then to move forward with that wisdom and become a better person. Then begin to manifest a better life with the newfound learnings.

That said, if you get stuck in the negative feelings and it turns into a clinical depression, then get some help. We are not meant to struggle by ourselves with everything. Get some counseling or medication if that is what is needed to get you back on track.

[DemExpat]

5. ...and my 2 cents....

I never did try to force positivity, or to fake it when I didn't feel it. I, too, was worried about it having effect on what I "attracted" to myself from the world, but more importantly, what influence my unprocessed fears/angers might have on my 2 babies!

I think I found an excellent way to deal with this - to be there with all of my loving intention for my children, while saving private time (when they were sleeping) to be conscious of my deep feelings and problems.
By writing all of my fears and conflicts down every day in my journal, this purged me of the pressure of the feelings agitating to be dealt with, it helped me order them to understand them better, and it, most importantly, gave all of my negativity and chaos a "location", a place outside of myself.
This was a great comfort and relief to me - knowing that I was true to myself by expressing all of my pain (and joys) in my journal, but giving it a place tucked away so that I could feel free to be more open, loving, and joyful with my kids.


One of the things that has been bothering me lately is the concept that negativity attracts more of the same, that fearing something enough can bring it to pass. I don't really have a choice right now in how I feel most of the day. I have a lot of fear to grapple with, and I have to face it honestly in order to let it pass

I personally do believe that negativity attracts negativity, although to a degree, (and nuanced by intent) for if this were the simple case in my lifetime, I would have died a thousand deaths IMO!
Certainly in attracting people into one's life, into one's friendship circles, I have found this to be the case. Not just negative energy patterns working here, or vibrations, but behavioural patterns that motivate people to send out certain social "cues" to others.
I definitely discovered that when I became aware of the patterns I was acting out, I started to feel more relaxed, open, and not expecting negativity from the world, and only then did I start to attract some wonderful people into my life. I have a fairly small social circle, but what I have is made up of people who I truly I want to have in my life.

My advice here to you: don't be afraid of not having a choice to deal with your fears - for this is a very good thing IMO, oxbow, this is not a negative process. In my opinion, and in my experience, it is DENYING these feelings and states that cause the real misery in our lives. The "art" of doing this is what each individual does with dealing with their own, unique "package" and circumstances.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

DemEx

[oxbow]

6. It's all about my relationship with fear...

You're all right...I'm treating my fears as bigger things than they are in real life. In the last 24 hours, I've just been sitting with these fears that come up; just watching, and helping the scared parts of me to let go when they're ready. I still don't feel safe in myself, but I'm trying to be OK with that too. I tend to get stuck in these negative places when I'm not being emotinally honest, so that is my #1 goal at the moment. Journaling is a great idea, so thank you for that too, Demexpat!

My love for myself is more powerful than my fear for myself. When I really understand that, I won't be afraid of fear anymore. Even though I understand that on an intellectural level though, I still have to do the work step by step.

Thanks for the love and perspective, all. God bless and take care...

[NMDemDist2]

8. Fear hates the light

name your fears, throw them right up on the table and dissect them

they are like mushrooms, they grow in the dark, but light disinfects them

as you confront them, name them and analyse them they start to become "old friends" almost

you get to a point where you say "O! hello there, I know you. Silly fear just HUSH!" and get back to what you are doing......

:rofl:

[oxbow]

9. lol! I look forward to that day...

When I can treat them like dustbunnies and old friends. Thanks for the smiles AZDem! :D

[rumpel]

10. Three principles

I define fear = the unknown, something that is beyond my own control or desire, and it does not equal negativity.
Only when my worries latch onto a few negative scenarios of many possible outcomes does it become a negativity.
If there is anything I can constructively contribute to direct the outcome I will try my best.
Could trying to be positive also mean letting go in a true sense, by trusting whatever the outcome will ultimately have a benefit for you, even if it may look like a disaster at that time? Even if it is in form of merely being wiser or having aided someone else instead?


This is a quote from the book "Awakening The Buddha Within", by Lama Surya Das and I hope it helps in some way to overcome any difficulties you are experiencing.

There are three principles, or methods, for maintaining the view in difficult circumstances:

1. Simply be present, fully there, without judgment or prejudice, with whatever occurs. Again and again, use mindfulness* to see whatever it is, just as it is. Just see what's there.

2. Try to see difficult circumstances and happenings as bad-tasting medicine or learning experiences. Look at the reality of the situation without resistance, struggle, aversion, or avoidance. try the tonglen* practice of breathing in and willfully assuming the burden. Remember that everything is grist for the mill of awareness. The particular difficulty can transform your awareness, right now.

3. Recognize whatever arises as pure energy, like a magical display or projection of awareness and wisdom itself. It is a part of the entire mandala of wholeness and integral being. Enjoy the spectacle; watch the show, observe the parade with its dynamic and colorful floats. Observe the play of light and shadow. Here before you is the natural great perfection of things just as they are.

* mindfulness: Pure mindfulness is relaxed, open, lucid moment-to-moment, present awareness. It is like a bright mirror: non-clinging, non-grasping, no-aversive, non-reactive, undistorting. Fortunately, mindfulness is a skill that can be learned like any other. (meditation)

** tonglen: literally known as Sending and Taking is an integral part of the Mahayana mind-training. Technique to be used as a way of increasing one's capacity of unconditional love, generosity, and openness of heart.

and also:

Difficulties or Dukkha Caused by the Flawed Nature of Conditioned Existence

4.Intentionality or will
Are you basically a person of good will, which means that you have good intentions? What do you wish or intend for yourself? Your children? Your friends? What motivates or moves you? What are your intentions? Why do you do what you do? This skhandha includes all volitional activities. As the Buddha pointed out, your intentions create your karma. Your will and intentions direct your mind, which controls the way you think, speak and act. Your intentions establish priorities in your life. Your past intentions condition or perpetuate your present intentions, habits, and propensities. This is where karma is created.

hang in there

[DemExpat]

11. Great points there, rumpel.

Especially point number 2 has helped me immensely in not disintegrating under pressure!

:hi:

DemEx

[rumpel]

12. I am going through some extreme wringers myself right now, too.

I am glad it helped.

and we should remember that there are people and powers unseen who sincerely support us along...
when I feel a bit better, I will post my profound experience of the past week...

:hi: