Name of your best moments confronting homophobes,

[ronnykmarshall]

I was in Bakersfield visting my family. My mom and Aunt went to see "Philladelphia" and in the sceen when Tom Hanks is slow dancing with Antonio Bandares, these two girls in sitting in front of me were giggling and snickering. I said loud enough for them to hear "Oh yeah, it's SO funny. You bigoted little assholes!". My mom tried to shush me, but my aunt said, "No, you go girl!". They SUNK down in their seats.

[Parche]

1. Tom Hanks

Put tears in my eyes at the Oscar's with his acceptance speach....:cry:
For his Oscar in that movie
:hi:

[ronnykmarshall]

2. I called my mom right after

and she could hardly talk because she was crying so hard. My step-dad too.

[maddezmom]

3. I have too many, but my response is usually similar

After someone makes a homophobic remark I say that's nice, I'll be sure to tell my Aunt and her wife along with my Godfather. Not sure what throws them off more my Aunt's wife or my "Godfather". :D

[Ian David]

4. Here's one of my best moments. Re-posted from August 2006

What we're up against, and why it's worse than you probably think
Wed Aug-02-06 04:48 PM
Original message

So, today I was in the sauna at the gym, and I struck-up a conversation with the guy next to me.

We started with the weather, "Hey, it's really hot outside. It's a relief to get into a nice, cool sauna."

Then we started talking about our family trip to Myrtle Beach, SC, how much fun we had, etc.

I guess once he realized I was married with a wife and daughter, he decided to open-up a bit about the sick, scary world he lives in.

I'll change a few details of our conversation, because the guy told me enough information that I could identify him if I wanted to. But I'm not out to invade his privacy-- just to illustrate what people like him are like.

He was telling me that he has a 16 year-old daughter who's an accomplished actress and has had her own screenplay performed. But he wanted to make sure she had another career, besides acting, to fall back on.

I said that Emerson College is really good for that sort of thing.

He then went into this thing about, "Well, you know that 50% of the women at Emerson are lesbians."

According to him, at Emerson College, if you aren't a lesbian, you can't be part of "The In Crowd." He told me he wouldn't want his daughter exposed to that sort of thing, especially since at Emerson, you're "coerced into lesbianism."

Instead, he was thinking maybe Wheelock College, Or New York University would be better for his (presumably) innocent, heterosexual daughter.

Stay with me here, this gets worse.

The guy has also has a son, who went to a design school. "He's a big, manly body-builder too, just so you know," the old guy says. "It cost me over $2,000 to get him out of that school. He says to me, 'Dad, I've only been here three days, but if one more guy propositions me, I don't know what I'm going to do.'"

So, afraid of getting homosexual advances, Dad took his son out of Graphic Design College after only three days, and forfeited his $2,000 deposit.

That's when I decided to say, "Well, it's obvious where he gets his bigotry from. It's been nice talking to you." And then I left, without looking back.

Folks, what we're up against is worse than many of you may think.

We're talking about people whose bigotry and homophobia run so deep, they not only want to hurt others, but they're willing to hurt themselves and their own families.

These people are willing to shut-down suicide hotlines that help both gay and straight children, just because suicide counselors tell people they don't have to hate themselves for being gay.

These people are willing to hobble the lives and careers of their own children in order to convince themselves that they're somehow keeping their kids from being "coerced into lesbianism."

We ask ourselves, "How can those people vote against their own best-interests just to keep gay people from getting married?"

This is why.

This guy is willing to lose $2,000 because his body-builder son is skeeved-out by being around too many gay men at a graphic design college. This guy is willing to make career and life-altering decisions based upon his need to hate people different from him.

I see now why they call it Homophobia-- an irrational fear of homosexuals.

These are the people who would fire their best salesman if they thought he was gay.

These people are willing to act against their own self-interest out of an irrational fear-- thus behaving irrationally.

Not only do they want to hurt you, but they're willing to hurt themselves.

They're willing to pay $4.00 a gallon for gasoline if gays can't get married.

They're willing to watch all their jobs get shipped over-seas if gays can't get married.

They're willing to pay money into the Medicare donut hole if gays can't get married.

They're willing to stand on their rooftops amid the flood waters of a drowning city, resolutely determined that gays can't get married.

They will waste $2,000 and sabotage the academic futures and the careers of their own children out of their irrational hatred and fear of gay people.

It's a lazy sort of Armchair Martyrdom that they're engaging in, and the sad thing is that they're destroying the country, along with their own sad, nasty small-minded little lives.

PS: Hey, Sauna Guy: I just checked, and guess what? Wheelock College has a "Queer Co-op." The lesbians await your daughter! Muhahah! http://tinyurl.com/gfbmd

Also cross-posted in the GLBT Forum:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=221&topic_id=39175&mesg_id=39175

More:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x2753860

[ronnykmarshall]

5. Good god!

His son should be flattered that some hot gay guys hit on him. But anyone "straight" guy that goes to design school, he should have an open mind.

[swimmernsecretsea]

15. The design world doesn't need assholes who can't work with anyone else.

Fuck him. Let him use his design skills pouring concrete and moving pallets with a forklift.

Plenty of straight design students have gay friends, get asked out by their gay friends and other students, and don't react with "I don't know what I'll do." Use the Nancy Reagan tactic: Just say no. But sweeten it by adding "...thank you." Those gay guys have pretty gay girls as friends and won't mind introducing you, so be nice and you might earn yourself an introduction.

With that kind of ignorant attitude, he's not going to have much of a career in design anyway.

[Zuiderelle]

18. Interesting. Someone willing to sacrifice their children's success because of their fear.

I never think of it that way. I suppose there really are people that are so afraid of something they don't understand that they would do anything to avoid learning anything about it for fear that it would shatter their world.

I cocoon myself in a progressive community, and forget that there are people like this in the same country, voting against strangers like me.

[DarkTirade]

6. I tend to run into the little annoyances

like people using the words 'gay' or 'fag' as epithets.

So generally I'll say something smart-ass. Like when some kid at gamestop couldn't figure out the demo on the TV there and said, "That's so gay." I said, "Yes, but that's it's lifestyle, and who are we to judge?" He just looked at me with this bewildered expression.

And recently one someone said, "He's so gay.", I responded with, "Why you gotta pawn off all your crappy people on the gays, huh?" :P

Not outright bigotry, just people using vernacular without thinking about what it actually means. But if it gets them to stop and think about it, it's worth the effort.

[MercutioATC]

7. I went to high school in the early 80's.

It was a private high school that I began attending in my sophomore year. As I came from a public school, even my 5'8", 125# stature didn't convince anybody that I wasn't potentially "dangerous". It took me a year to fit in, but even then I retained the "dangerous" rep among underclassmen.

My graduating class was 20 people. We were a tight-knit group. One of my classmates and friends was decidedly bisexual...and in the 80's, that manifested itself as lavender clothes and accessories such as scarves (in addition to relationship preferences).

An underclassman would occasionally make a comment about my friend's orientation. On a couple of occasions I took one of them, grabbed them by the throat, dangled them a foot above the ground, and told them that I'd hurt them if they ever talked to him like that again. It seemed to work.


Until that time, I was kind of a "closet homophobe". My position was that "they could do whatever they wanted as long as they didn't do it around me". My friend changed my view of that and I'll be forever grateful.

Thanks, Dave.

[ronnykmarshall]

8. YOU ....

I love!

[MercutioATC]

10. Actually, I should have been of that mind a lot earlier.

It took me 16 years to learn the lesson. I don't deserve any kudos for that...but I am personally happy that I figured it out.


I was having a discussion with an ex-Navy-SEAL co-worker a few years ago. He was complaining about the fact that gays wanted to get married. I asked him what realistic harm he thought it would cause. He then asked "What, are you gay?".

I've never been asked if I was gay prior to that...even at some of the clubs we used to go to in high school. I'm used to being perceived as straight. It gave me pause.

After about 2 seconds, I told him that I was straight, but that didn't change the reality of the situation...and I realized that his question hadn't threatened me at all. It wasn't like he has asked me if I was a leper, it was like him asking me if I was Dutch.

Again, I thought of what Dave had done for me and how what I had done paled in comparison.

[Toasterlad]

21. I'd Be MUCH More Offended If Someone Called Me "Dutch".

Filthy tulip-sniffin', clog-wearin', windmill spinners.

[JackBeck]

9. When I was working at Starbucks

a customer called me a "cocksucker".

My response: "Yeah, well, I'm the best one in Brooklyn."

Everyone from nannies to construction workers would come in for weeks after that pointing me out to their friends, amazed at my smackdown.

[Ian David]

16. "No, you're not the best cocksucker. I specifically asked for no foam last time you blew me." n/t

[DarkTirade]

22. I probably would have said, "Not for you, sorry." :P

[galledgoblin]

11. during this year's empire state pride agenda lobby day

I think I did quite well tangoing with a homophobic legislator

I won't go into details because he is a public official and all, but I think I made him seriously reconsider his position.

[dsc]

12. I don't know this is my best, but it is one of my latest

I had a kid in class repeatedly ask me if I was gay and make comments about the GSA. After a few times of telling him nicely to get back on task I walked up to his desk and said in a nice quiet voice that I wasn't getting angry but if he did actually get me angry I might have to write him up for sexual harassment (which is what that actually falls under). I then told him he would have to explain to his parents how he harassed his male teacher. Soon the kids around him were laughing hysterically. Message sent. He shut up and got back to work. I know this is two edged but it was still effective.

[canis_lupus]

13. Going to work one morning a couple of construction workers types ...

... pulled up next to me at a stop light. They had notice my rainbow sticker and, since the weather was nice and the windows were down, the driver leaned over and asked, "So you're a faggot, huh?" I replied, "Yeah, but don't get your hopes up, hon. I only date masculine guys."

I was glad the light changed about that time and I could make my turn, but I noticed the guy in the passenger seat laughing hysterically while the driver seemed to be turning 17 shades of crimson.

[bullwinkle428]

25. ...

:spray:

HILARIOUS!! Thanks for making my morning!

[Obamarama]

14. This happened in 1989....

What a long way we seem to have come in many ways since then.

My partner and I had been together for just about one year when we decided we were each other's long-awaited Mr. Right. To make bill paying easier, we opened a joint checking account for household expenses, groceries, mortgage payment, etc... The checks had both our names printed on them.

Soon after we had opened it, we went grocery shopping and wrote a check. When I was checking something on the bill after checking out, I noticed our cashier take our check back out of the register, look at it and then took it and showed it to the cashier next to her, pointing at our names. Our cashier laughed and shook her head, and her fellow cashier roller her eyes.

I walked over and grabbed the check out of her hands and tore it up. As she stood and watched in shock, I took the four or five grocery bags out of the cart and dumped them back onto the conveyor and said "I'm sorry, I won't be needing these after all."

The looks on the other customers' faces were priceless, although the look on my partner's face was one of mortification.

[TechBear_Seattle]

17. College after being elected co-chair of the school's GLBSA

I was a dorm rat at Humboldt State University in the early / mid 1990s. After being elected co-chair of the school's Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Student Association, I put a poster for the group on my dorm door. A couple of guys down the hall started giving me problems. It came to an end while down in the TV room watching the news; they were playing cards and talking among themselves -- loudly, so the whole room could hear -- about how they were afraid they would get "molested" in the showers. I got up from the couch walked over to them, and gave them an apprising look. Then I said, with a small sneer and in a voice just as loud as theirs, that they had absolutely nothing to worry about, they were perfectly safe.

Oh, the laughter that erupted from everyone else was priceless. Either they learned their lesson or the resident advisors started coming down on them, but they never bothered me again.

[Tyler Durden]

19. I was walking on the streets of Norfolk with some soon to be ex-associates.

We were all in the Navy at the time, and being in The Old Dominion (Virginia) in 1984, GLBT people still got some pretty nasty comments from cars and such.

Anyway, I was walking with these guys, when they spotted two other friends of mine who were arm in arm across the street near "The Oar House," a local gay bar at about 7:30 pm in the Summer, still light. We all knew each other, but the guys I was with started in with the catcalls, so I took a look at them in disgust, walked across the street and gave each of my partnered friends a handshake, then a big hug and kiss right on the mouth. I think they were more shocked then the phobes, because it took them both about a count of 5 before they burst out laughing.

I flipped off the shocked phobes, and the three of us went to "The Oar House" for drinks.

Back in uniform on Monday, I gathered all of the phobe group (who I ranked) and told them that if I ever saw that behavior again, I'd see they each did a turn in the shit cleaning section of Central Sterile Supply, and that I considered all of them guilty of conduct un-becoming a US Navy Hospital Corpsman, and that they had better not ever be in a position where I was the petty officer writing their evaluations.

[Iggo]

20. Let's just say I'm a gay-basher-basher...

...and leave it at that.

[Mapman923]

23. I was out with some friends one night

Michael had been having a bad night after being dissed by and ex of his, (to be more specific, an ex of his who drove an hour with his new BF especially to diss Michael). Michael left and we followed. He rounded the corner into the parking lot before we did and was confronted by a couple of phobe high schoolers.

We didn't hear what they said, but we could hear him say, "I'm really glad to see you, because I REALLY need an excuse to beat the crap out of someone. So you'll be able to tell your kids that you got creamed by a fag -- IF I leave you able to have kids." At that moment, the four of us rounded the corner. The two kids ran away.

Michael turned to us and said, "Thanks, but you just spoiled the only fun I could've had tonight."

[mitchtv]

24. my BF caught a pair on 18th and Castro

on a Saturday night , and beat the liviin shit out of one .all the while asking him how it feels to get beat up by a "fag". I orchestrated the cheerleading and kept the othe phobe out of it. It was well appreciated by the crowd