My daughter's wedding and her Great-Grandma

[HockeyMom]

My daughter is getting engaged in December. She was waiting for marriage equality to pass in the state of NY to "pop the question". As she told me many times, she didn't want to go to Connecticut to get married as so many of her friends have. "I was born, raised, and LIVE in New York, so why should I have to go to Connecticut to marry?" Well, now she doesn't have to!

I have promised to give her her Great-Grandma's rings. She is my first born and I have always felt SHE is my child who should have them. While the majority of the family is very accepting, there are a few who seem to be horrified, not only at her marriage and my acceptance of it, but that "Grandma would be rolling over her grave" giving her rings for a "fake" marriage.

I would like to describe my Grandma. Nana was a second generation Italian/American, born in 1900, in Greenwich Village. She was a woman ahead of her times. She was VERY PROGRESSIVE. Grandma, as a teenager, marched for the right of women to vote. "Don't tell me I cannot do something just because I am a WOMAN." When Grandpa died, she refused to wear black as the rest of the women in her generation did.

She lived in Greenwich Village; Christopher Street to be precise. My Aunt was a lesbian who married a man and had a son. Yet, she had a girlfriend who she saw the entire time of her marriage. Different times? I suppose she tried to cover up her orientation to society. Grandma had quite a few words for that. "End the CHARADE". We all KNOW you are a lesbian and have a female lover. So get a DIVORCE. Why live a lie and make everybody miserable including yourself? Aunt Jackie did just that. She divorced her husband, moved in with Terry, and they raised her son together, and were together until Terry passed away 25 years later. Yes, she did come out to the world back in the 60s and the family was generally very accepting of it, especially Grandma.

I spent a lot of time with Nana from when I was a child to a young woman before she passed away. I am a child of the 60s and Nana supported me. I never once heard her say anything derogatory against the gay people where we lived. Nana treated gay couples as very matter of fact. Some women like men. Some women like women. As she said about Aunt Jackie and Terry. I KNOW she would not be upset over her Great-Grand-Daughter being a lesbian, getting married, and having her rings. Nana was NOT that kind of person. She passed down her views to my Mom, and of course, to me.

I just wanted to share a bit of family history with my daughter's engagement. I am very happy that now BOTH my daughters can be married to the PEOPLE they love.

[maddezmom]

1. Nana sounds ahead of her time in many respects and a wonderful role model for many today

and your daughter is the perfect person to have the rings. Congrats to your daughter and you for being such a great mom. :hug:

[snacker]

2. Best wishes to your daughter...

and I think Grandma would have been proud to have your daughter and her partner wear the rings!

[givemebackmycountry]

3. That is a beautiful, moving post.

You just got an upgrade for making me smile, and think about my Grandmother.

[bluestateguy]

4. Meanwhile the NOM is swooning over the NY state town clerk who resigned

and she's acting like a complete drama queen about it too. Geez! just go away and goodbye, thank you. New clerk please!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KG9otgfguQ&feature=channel_video_title

Congratulations to your daughter, BTW.

[Bumblebee]

5. I think you will do your daughter and her spouse -to-be a great favor

if you simply don't pay attention to ANYTHING that your relatives who do not support same-sex marriage say, including what to do with the ring.

[Frustratedlady]

6. Nana sounds like a no-nonsense woman who knew her strengths...but,

one who also believed in a live and let live acceptance of life.

I always get a kick out of The Golden Girls and the comments by Sophia. Her thoughts may have been crude, at times, but they were also good, common sense.

It isn't going to matter if the rings are passed down, or not. Those that disapprove aren't going to change their minds...it's the marriage they're upset about. Go with your gut feelings.

May they have a happy life.

[woodsprite]

7. Thank you for sharing that story.

Your daughters have a great mom, and you all have a family to
be proud of.

[yardwork]

8. Sounds like you are a chip off the old block. Nana would be proud of YOU.

[Angry Dragon]

9. ...............

:grouphug:

[NMMNG]

10. Congratulations to your daughter

:applause:

I hope she and her wife-to-be are as happy as my wife and I have been.


I myself married into an Italian/American family. My wife's mother originally had trouble dealing with the fact that her daughter was a lesbian. Over the years she came to fully accept it and now she's proud as can be. She paid for our wedding, wrote out the invitations and tells everyone she meets about "my daughter and her wife".

[HockeyMom]

11. I hope very soon everyone in all 50 states will be able

to marry the person they love.:grouphug:

[tnlefty]

12. Congrats to yur daughter!

And good on Nana! :hug:

[barbtries]

13. mazeltov!

don't listen to the haters. also, as an aside, even IF Nana would be turning in her grave, you and your daughter owe nothing to that bigotry. we're an evolving species.