Talking With Children About Sex and AIDS: At What Age to Start?

[groovedaddy]

What age is the right age to have “the talk,” not just about where babies come from, but also about sex and AIDS? How about, oh, 4?

A new documentary, “Please Talk to Kids About AIDS,” raises this question in a cute but discomfiting way. So far it has been seen only at film festivals and at schools of public health, including those at Harvard and Johns Hopkins. But the film will soon be available at www.eztakes.com/Talk-to-Kids. I saw it last month at a Gay Men’s Health Crisis screening for AIDS counselors.

In it, two incredibly sweet and precocious sisters — Vineeta and Sevilla Hennessey, ages 6 and 4 — accompany their parents, the filmmakers, to the 2006 International AIDS Conference in Toronto. They interview top AIDS experts, gay activists, condom distributors, a sex toy saleswoman, a cross-dresser playing Queen Elizabeth II and an Indian transgender hijra in a sari.

The startling aspect is that, as one childish question leads to the next, they ask things like: “How does AIDS get into your body?” and “How come they want to have sex with each other?”

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/health/26aids.html?th=&adxnnl=1&emc=th&adxnnlx=1204046085-OcZsPP2ed3SR3jANG4M6Nw

[bpeale]

1. i started educating my daughter at age 2+ and on up to adulthood

its NEVER too early to start IMO

[notadmblnd]

2. I had a talk with my son about the responsibility that comes with having sex

just last Thursday. He's almost 15, 6ft and 180 pounds of gorgeousnesses, quite the chick magnet if I do say so myself. I have explained the "birds and the bees" to him in the past to the point where he has said that is "TMI mom," (I drew pictures and everything), but last Thursday he had his "first date." He and his girlfriend accompanied me to the bowling alley where I bowl so they weren't totally unmonitored. They did spend some time in my car alone in the parking lot and he told me there was some major kissing involved.

My son and I are extremely close (his dad is passed). Believe it or not, we can actually speak to each other without saying a word, and so far it has been impossible for him to lie to me. So I'm certain that he is not sexually active yet (other than the 5 showers he takes everyday), but the girl he likes is a little older and more experienced, (I have no evidence but I think she has suffered from some emotional and possibly sexual abuse in the past) and if he has sex anytime soon, she's probably going to be the one he has it with. Now I don't approve, but I figure that if I harp on him about her, it's just going to make him more determined to see her. Hence our talk.

I've often used humor with my son to initiate discussions regarding serious issues, and when they asked if it was ok to go to the car that night, I told him two things. Do not run the battery down, and do not run the gas out of the car. So when he came in to tell me the battery was dead, instead of getting angry, I said to him, "why couldn't you just have sex in the car without the radio on?" That's when he told me they were just doing some major kissing. So I had him ask a friends husband to give him a jump and let it go until after we dropped the girl off and got home.

I told him that I know that he thinks that he is almost ready, but that there is big responsibility that goes along with having sex. That there can be some major consequences for a few minutes of pleasure and that two of those major consequences are pregnancy and disease. I explained to him how the possible consequences could ruin both his and the girls future if either of these things happened as a result of getting carried away. I told him that I hoped he would hold off for a while, and that I realize that it is bound to happen eventually. I stressed that when he does determine he's ready, that he must use protection for both their sakes. He didn't roll his eyes like he thought what I was saying was ridiculous, or blush from embarrassment. He wasn't defensive or think I was intruding on his privacy. He just said, " I love you mom," and kissed me good night.

[madeline_con]

3. Go ahead and call me a prude, but....

1. Little kids don't need to check out sex toys.

2. As for gays, transexuals, etc kids can be told that everyone is not the same. Some guys like guys is good enough for some kids, they don't necessarily ask for illustrations.

3. Aids can get into your body in a variety of ways. They'll indicate when they're ready for specific more detailed answers.

4. The kids might be wondering why they want to have sex at all. They're little kids, after all.

[Windex]

4. I'm a prude too

I homeschool my 10 year old grandson. We discuss things as he brings it up. We have watched babies being born and he understands what gay means. He isn't to interested.

[Progressivism]

5. Education on sexuality.

Education on sexuality can start at any age in my opinion, right when a child asks how they were "made."

[Sabriel]

6. Start early with age-appropriate discussions

Normalize everything to do with reproduction. People do a lot of different things with lots of different people, and there's nothing wrong with it (as long as it doesn't hurt someone against that person's will).

Here's a book that's great for younger readers:

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Perfectly-Normal-Changing-Growing/dp/0763624330/ref=reader_auth_dp