RAPTURE UPDATE:

[laconicsax]

Last month, I posted a thread (here) linking to a site (link) claiming that THE RAPTURE was imminent. The predicted day passed without incident and life went on as normal.

Well, they've updated their calculations and determined that THE RAPTURE will take place before October 21st, 2009. They cite this web page.

Everyone get ready! THE RAPTURE is in two days!

[Pharaoh]

1. Good!

Then I don't have to mow the lawn today!:toast:

[MikeE]

2. Woo Hoo

This is fantastic news! :party: :party::party::party::party:

[C_U_L8R]

3. Good riddance.

Leave earth to the earth lovers.

[Sinti]

4. Thank god. Then maybe we can get some work done :) n/t

[elocs]

5. The Rapture is a false doctrine that was conjured up by torturing and twisting scriptures together.

False doctrine, but a good money-maker.

[davidwparker]

8. which scriptures were twisted?

[elocs]

21. 30 years ago in my life as a Pentecostal I deeply studied the "Rapture",

a word which is not found in the Bible. Since my pastor and church strongly believed in the Rapture and all of the end times prophecies I studied it to strengthen my understanding of it except I came out on the other side in believing it is false.

Check this site (I just googled rapture+false doctrine): http://www.ucg.org/wnp/wnp0809/rapture-false-doctrine.htm

As I recall this doctrine started in around 1849 with a church in Scotland and has enjoyed frenzies over the years, particularly in the late 1970s when Hal Lindsey was active in it. I went back and studied the different passages that supposedly referred to a Rapture in the original languages, learning what the words really meant. In the passage which refers to Jesus' return in the clouds which they claim is where he catches up the believers and then goes back to heaven, the Greek word for "return" is one in which used elsewhere in the New Testament where the return is complete and not halfway (Jesus' return would be all the way to earth and not half way).

Other things are confusing prophecies which have already been fulfilled as yet having to happen. They make things like Jesus' admonition when you see things happen to flee was actually a warning to the people to which he was speaking when the Romans destroyed the temple and Jerusalem be an indication of something which has to do with a future rapture rather than something which has already happened.

Belief in the Rapture creates a "don't worry, be happy, we'll be raptured out" attitude among those who believe in it. Such as global warming, "no problem, we won't be here since we will be raptured out" attitude. Of course the were crowing the same things 30 years ago with their "any moment now". The funny thing concerning the belief that the believers of the Rapture in this country, who have lead pretty cushy lives without persecution and think they are so deserving to escape any trouble compared to other Christians in the world who are leading hard lives and who are persecuted for their faith.

[jwirr]

15. Bingo.

[laconicsax]

19. I don't know...that website uses lots of different colors and font sizes.

[tiny elvis]

33. so is the new testament

old testament midrash, platonism, stoicism, fevered brains
voila

[tazkcmo]

6. Woo Hoo!

I'm getting a new house, a new car... OOO! A Pool table!

[OffWithTheirHeads]

11. I'm gonna get me a pony!

[sarge43]

7. Pickin's!!

Bring the pickups.

[kestrel91316]

9. Good. Maybe one of them will leave behind a decent car for me.

[Cyrano]

10. I haven't paid this month's bills yet.

Do you suppose I should wait and see what happens?

My credit card bill is due this Thursday (Oct. 22). Should I hold off on paying it and hope to get myself raptured? If nothing happens on the 21st, I'm going to owe a penalty payment. -- What to do? What to do?

[jimshoes]

12. Car keys, titles, deeds and all that sort of stuff

Please leave where they can be found quickly. Oh and sign all the titles and deeds over to "My good friend jimshoes".

[immoderate]

13. Scaaaarrreeeeeee!!!!

:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:
:scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared: :scared:


--imm

[YOY]

14. Someone really should congratulate them.

They've taken a religion about peace, love, caring, and forgiveness...and turned it into a hatred inducing apocalyptic death cult.

There has to be a prize for that.

[laconicsax]

20. To be fair, the apocalyptic and death cult aspects has been around for a very long time.

[dmr]

16. I'll meet you all here on the 22nd. We'll throw a party!

I'm not ready to go anywhere yet, I wanna put up my Christmas tree and sip hot toddies.
:party: :toast:

[beyurslf]

17. Well I want the fundie's car that lives down the street.

I could use one for my boys to take to school. Should solve our unemployment problem also.

[EvolveOrConvolve]

18. I've been waiting with bated breath for the rapture

It seems the perfect opportunity to solve some of the over-population problems we've been having. And since the saved will be floated up to heaven and the evil people will be killed by fire on the spot, we can also solve the problems of asshole fundamentalists infecting our country and violent crime in one rapturous explosion of good fortune for the human race.

[tiny elvis]

35. sorry. i have asked that it be postponed once again

don't think i have that kind of pull?
wait and see

[Chemisse]

22. Thanks for keeping us up to date on this important issue!

I am hoping my sons can pick up the jobs the rapture people leave behind. Perhaps they should schedule a day of job hunting on the 22nd.

[cynatnite]

23. So that means in two days I'll have to take care of my mom's obnoxious dog...

great. It really does suck being left behind.

[ehrnst]

24. Oh, but there's a service that can take care of her pets...

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

<<You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.


We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 22 states. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

We currently cover the following states:
Maine,New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Michigan, Arkansas, Mississippi, Tennessee, Kentucky, Colorado, Oklahoma, Kansas, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, North Carolina (new) and Georgia (new). >>

[clear eye]

25. For a small monthly fee?

That's the least offensive scam I've ever heard. You know, considering how in the aggregate their votes on important political issues cost the rest of us plenty.

And downright funny, somehow. I guess something to do w/ how whether the company believes in what it's doing or not, to them its a valid service.

[iris27]

43. I should sign up to cover Missouri! Doesn't look

like any other atheists have stepped up to the plate for the Show-Me State yet...

[TalkingDog]

26. Again?

I've still got the T shirt I made in '89, when people were giving their houses away and their kids to...? neighbors? (I don't recall exactly, just that they were giving their kids to other people to deal with)


Anyway, the date kept getting moved, but the really, truly, final date....seriously....came and went without fanfare. So I pulled out a laundry marker and a white tee and wrote:

The Rapture came
But I'm still here.


I had a fellow at a gas station tell me he'd pray for me. As he walked off I said, "Why? You're still here."

[DeSwiss]

27. Sounds legitimate to me.....

...because doves wouldn't lie!


The 5 Doves
http://www.fivedoves.com/">

[jemelanson]

34. I love it...Doves...one of the symbols of the

Great Goddess......

[rd_kent]

28. OK, how many time do they get to be WRONG before we stop listening?

wait, I stopped listening a LOOOONNG time ago.

[OneBlueSky]

29. content aside, that may be the most ugly ass website I've ever seen . . .

whatever else you may say about rapture believers, it's obvious they have the esthetic values of a coloring book . . .

[laconicsax]

30. That's an unfair slam on coloring books.

[d_r]

31. it kind of warms my heart

I think it is really great that the mental health system has a program for schizophrenia patients to make web pages.

[tiny elvis]

32. as i said in the other thread, the important thing is maintaining a rapture state of mind

though they may foil their own purpose

[lady lib]

36. Well, it looks like they had another premature erapuration...

the website has been changed to "fall of 2009" instead of "before Oct. 21st."
Shucks, I want my pony now!!

[laconicsax]

37. It isn't even midnight in Jerusalem and they're already hedging their bets!

[Wapsie B]

38. I wonder if the reason the Rapture is pushed like this

is due to people like this not wanting to die? They get home after work, have supper, and exclaim no housework or homework tonight! We're getting raptured!

[piratefish08]

39. who's still here??

hands UP!

:bounce:

[cynatnite]

40. So, time runs out at midnight. Then what? n/t

[Christa]

41. I am still here

So I can safely say I wasn't chosen to be raptured :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Taverner]

42. Pshaw! The Raputre already came. It was a single by Blondie