TEXAS PLANS THE FUTURE!!!

[daddybear]

THE REPUBLIC OF TEXAS…AND THE OTHER 49 STATES
(Don't know if all of these are true but it makes a cute joke)

The Future of Texas

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if Kerry wins president over Bush. We'll miss you too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our their hands.

Here is our solution:

1: Let John Kerry become President of the United States. (all 49 states.)

2: George W Bush becomes the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. (we will control the space industry.)

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense Industry. (we have over 65% of it) The term "Don't mess with Texas," will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil - we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas - Again we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm....

6. Computer Industry - we currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications: Small places like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor,
Dallas Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, Etc, Etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers - We have the largest research centers for Cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world and other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going: UT., Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University, etc. Ivy grows better in the south anyway

9. We have a ready supply of workers. (just open the border when we need some more).

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad,
we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables and lets not forget seafood from the gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don't need any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under President Kerry:

Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9-mile-per-gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off your communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed, The People in Texas
We don't hate the people of Texas and we're not blaming the people of Texas for the Bush baby. We still want Texas, we just don't want the Bush baby.

[DU9598]

1. If only ....

I would welcome their departure. They can take a few others with them as far as I am concerned.

[GOPisEvil]

2. Oh please...

This pile of crap has been floating around for so long.

I'm sure Texas could just leave the union and NOT have to give back all of Uncle Sam's stuff. You DO realize that Texas receives more from the Federal government than it pays, right?

[LuminousX]

3. LOL

Buh-bye Texas.

How long will your NASA survive without Federal funding? Florida and California have NASA functions as well and by the way, NASA doesn't control all the communication satellites.

Fundamentally, I'd love to see Texas go on its own, just as long as they allow everyone who doesn't want to be a Texan to leave before they close their borders.

[Richardo]

6. Plus the launch pads are in FLORIDA!

Big deal - the Johnson Space center is a control room and training facility.

[prodigal_green]

4. Don't let the Rio Grande hit you on the ass on the way out.

Texas DUers, there are plenty of open arms out here for you!!

[daddybear]

5. Does anyone READ posts?

Did ya not seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee:

We don't hate the people of Texas and we're not blaming the people of Texas for the Bush baby. We still want Texas, we just don't want the Bush baby.

Geez... chill.

[bobbyboucher]

7. Do I get a sense of inevitability

in this idiocy? The inevitability of Kerry being the next president.

[Darby]

8. Average IQ in remaining America will immediately shoot up

[Crunchy Frog]

9. I cower in fear

before the new global superpower of Texas.:scared:

[seabeyond]

10. let it be. might convince hubby to get me out quicker

yeehaw

[Justitia]

11. hey, hey, hey!!! We aren't all Repugs down here!

To be a Texas Democrat takes serious backbone and we are in the fight of our lives down here!

Our state was hijacked by the fanatical right (as goes the rest of the nation) and we are fighting tooth and nail to get it back.

Remember the "Killer Dems" who left the state while in special session rather than be cornered by the Republicans?

Please, remember we are fighting back hard down here too!

[daddybear]

12. Indeed you are....

and the rest of the nation SURELY feel your pain!

[babylonsister]

13. Oh, crap

Have lived in TX for years solely due to job. Guess it'll FINALLY be time to move! Ratcheting up that unemployment...

[KharmaTrain]

14. I Gladly Boycott All Things Texas

I have not nor ever plan to step foot in the state and make sure I have little if any business dealings in the state. I even avoid eating at Lone Star steak houses.

If I recall, doesn't Texas have the right to split into 4 states, too...similar to what Virginia did during the civil war?

While my body stays far from the land of DeLay, my money has and does go to those fine folks fighting the good fight in that desolate state.

Here's hoping for liberation someday.

[Julien Sorel]

15. When you take your tongue out of your cheek

and look at that, amusingly enough most of what they have, they got courtesy of Lyndon Johnson, who was the absolute, undeniable, undisputed king of pork barrel politics, and Sam Rayburn, who was the Godfather of pork. Two Democrats, of course. So much for them self reliant, frontiersman cowboys from Texas.

[Justitia]

20. LBJ = Civil Rights Act and Rayburn - well.....see for yourself

http://www.famoustexans.com/samrayburn.htm

snip:

"His oath of office on April 7, 1913, as a member of the House of Representatives marked the beginning of more than forty-eight years of continuous service, the longest record of service in the House ever established (at the time of his death in 1961)....Rayburn was a participant in the passage of most of the significant legislation of the first half of the twentieth century."

snip:

"After 1937, as majority leader and then speaker of the House, Rayburn was responsible for guiding the remaining portions of the basic New Deal program through that chamber."

And most importantly:

snip:

"Rayburn's personal integrity was legendary: he accepted no money from lobbyists, he went on only one congressional junket in forty-eight years (he paid his own way), and he even refused travel expenses on speaking tours."


What I admire most about Sam?
See my sig line - he understood what it took to be a real Texas Democrat.

[zbdent]

16. I'll see your Texas Air National Guard and raise you one

NORAD.

All we'd really have to do is patrol the water areas in a flyover. Dry them out.

[cheshire]

17. OK but I want a fence if we can't just cut Texas off an let it float.

[jburton]

18. The list of "High Tech" is amusing

As if Texas Instruments, Motorola and the others actually make anything in the United States, much less Texas.

About the only thing they make in Texas is vacant office space in north Dallas.

And another thing -- Alcatel is a FRENCH company! Betcha whoever wrote this has no clue.

[Bridget Burke]

19. Somebody lifted this from Freerepublic a couple of weeks ago....

It wasn't funny then & it isn't funny now.

Can't you find some fresher spam?

[Hamlette]

21. Great, let Texas pay for Iraq....and all the other wars Bush wants.