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We could tell by the furrow between his eyes, it had not gone well.

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Coexist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:01 PM
Original message
We could tell by the furrow between his eyes, it had not gone well.
After a furtive glance around the smallish conference room for members of the press, he sat down with a thump, and kicked his Ferragamo loafers off. It was a signal we knew well, and there were quick motions to attentiveness; all leaned forward and inhaled. "Who the hell's was supposed to be in charge of arranging this damn event. I won't even go into what is wrong with it."

He ended on a bark, and the pencil-slim blonde seated to the right, and slightly behind him winced as if avoiding a blow. This might go on for the entire 18 minutes we had before re-boarding the bus, and the tight knot hardened in our collective stomachs. Bracing for the onslaught, we were quickly distracted as the brass handle to the only entrance to the room turned. The door opened and a brunette entered, attitude first, and enveloped us all in a cloud of Armani. The blonde's eyes narrowed imperceptibly before she began studying her shoes with odd intensity. As was his way in this situation the man seemed torn; disgust and desire battled openly in his eyes, in his demeanor. Settling on the softer emotion, his shoulders relaxed, and we all expelled the breath we hadn't realized we had been holding in.

Twelve. more. days...

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skooooo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:02 PM
Response to Original message
1. What's this from?
Reminds me of the church scene in Mississippi Burning.
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Coexist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. I was watching McCain's lame rally and my mind began to wander
to what it might be like in the waning days of his campaign - a fly on the wall, as it were.
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kayakjohnny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:05 PM
Response to Original message
3. Pretty well done. Like a good screen play.
Probably not that far off. Good job.
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CaliforniaPeggy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
4. Very nice!
You should put this in your journal, if you have one...

K&R

:applause: :applause:
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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
5. Oooh, tell me more!
Then what happened?

You write so well, I wish you were my penpal!
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:29 PM
Response to Reply #5
9. i want to hear more too. it was good, huh. lol. n/t
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Coexist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #5
10. LOL! I'll see if I have Part II in me tomorrow...
maybe a scene on the plane??
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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Ooh, yes, planes or trains!!!
If you've gotten anything published, I'll scoop em up!
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Coexist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. I don't really write - just for fun around here.
thank you for your kind words. after I post, I always find mistakes, so I usually don't like any of them!
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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. I'm glad you added this to your journal.
And I added you to my buddy list so I can check in.

It's a gift, great writing....one of my favorite lines: "The door opened and a brunette entered, attitude first, and enveloped us all in a cloud of Armani."

That's her!

I'm not much of a reader, but love good writing and yours reminded me of this passage I used to use to inspire students when I was a teacher:

"It was one of those hot dry Santa Anas that come down through the mountain passes and curl your hair and make your nerves jump and your skin itch. On nights like that every booze party ends in a fight. Meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands' necks. Anything can happen."

- Raymond Chandler, "Red Wind" (1935)

Thanks! :applause:
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TexasObserver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:11 PM
Response to Original message
6. This is the kind of stuff that will be great in all the exposes' written about the campaign.
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bleever Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:24 PM
Response to Original message
7. You should do one of these each day
til the election.

:thumbsup:
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speedoo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:28 PM
Response to Original message
8. More of this, please.
It's very good, and most enjoyable to read!

K&R, obviously.
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tech3149 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 08:52 PM
Response to Original message
11. Very nice writing!
You should give us more, even if it's not political. I don't get the chance to do much for entertainment these days, but I'd love to read a book written in your fashion.
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Occam Bandage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 09:40 PM
Response to Original message
15. Very nice.
Piled it on a bit thick, but hell, I'd keep reading if there were more.
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central scrutinizer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 09:50 PM
Response to Original message
16. Is this your entry in the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest?
Could be a winner in the purple prose division.
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glitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 09:57 PM
Response to Original message
17. You are good. You need to do more of this. nt
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starroute Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Oct-23-08 10:40 PM
Response to Original message
18. Wouldn't take much to kick it over into film noir
I could really see Wasilla as one of those little towns full of lust and corruption...

That plus a bit of Arizona mob activity in the background...

And the money boys back in DC pulling the strings...

Oh, this could get very hard-boiled.

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MindMatter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-24-08 05:41 AM
Response to Reply #18
19. This is not realistic
Assuming we're talking about McCain, there's not nearly enough violence. I wou;dn't want to be this man's dog right about now.
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markevil Donating Member (111 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-24-08 06:23 AM
Response to Original message
20. Fabio on the cover as McCain?
:)
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No Elephants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-24-08 06:26 AM
Response to Reply #20
21. Now THAT would be one hell of a combover.
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RhodaGrits Donating Member (688 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Oct-24-08 07:48 AM
Response to Original message
22. more, more... please? n/t
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