AP: McCain to dig up Reagan's corpse, nominate it for VP

[Zomby Woof]

"The 12th and 22nd Amendments be damned.", McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds said today in a statement released as an exclusive to AP wire reporter Ron Fournier. "We're going to show America John McCain is serious about his conservative credentials! We're having none other than the stiff support of the Gipper himself!" The Formaldehyde Lobby, firmly in the McCain camp, was said to be "very encouraged" by this news, which by all accounts, is bound to push coverage of the Democratic Convention this week to page 12 of every newspaper, and virtually push it off of all the news networks, as there will be no more mourning the loss of "Morning In America".

When asked for comment, former First Lady Nancy Reagan issued a statement, "I know Ronnie would be pleased, knowing that he has one more chance to Win One For The Stiffer! I mean 'Gipper'!" Nancy Reagan's office denies she misspoke, however, and the AP backs up that assertion.

The appearance of Reagan's corpse is sure to be a ratings booster when coverage of the Republican Convention begins in September. Former Republican candidate and fellow actor Fred Thompson will help hold Reagan up as he leads the delegates in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. "It will be the honor of my life, saluting the flag with the Great and Noble Ronald Reagan. If we could just get John Wayne's corpse, I could die happily - if I am not dead already. Sometimes it's hard to tell." Thompson then nodded off, and had nothing further to add.

Meanwhile, the White House, known to be envious of any coverage of a Republican other than its current occupant, had no comment.

-- Ron Fournier, exclusive to the AP

[BrklynLiberal]

1. ROTFLMAO!!

:rofl:

Of course, if they could do that, they would..But Nancy would never agree to it due to the way McSame dumped his first wife.

[Kolesar]

2. Call Fred Thompson, then!

Wake him up.

[Barack_America]

3. Good move. Reagan's corpse is far more charismatic. nt

[az chela]

4. UMMMM how will we tell them apart???

[Zomby Woof]

6. Reagan is the better orator

He can read the teleprompter like no other Republican in history.

Also, he will be the one who begins every sentence with, "Well...". McCain has his "My friends..." schtick.

Other than that, it will be a challenge, I admit!

[TexasObserver]

5. Michael Reagan, almost Reagan's son, could run as VP

He's a Reagan and he's sort of a corpse.

[Arnold Judas Rimmer]

9. Send Michael Reagan to Iraq.

He thinks we should put grenades up Muslims asses and pull the pin. I say let him try. :evilgrin:

[rurallib]

7. Damn I heard it was going to be GHW Bush.

Gets that Bush family aura to the campaign while also emphasizing McCain's youth and vigor. The added plus is Babs' insight.

[Forkboy]

8. The plus side is I don't have to travel to his grave to piss on him.

Stupid fucker. :mad:

[nini]

10. .

:thumbsup:

[flamingdem]

11. Why not pretend his ashes are in an urn and carry that around and talk to it? nt