Bush Declares War on National Unity

[gulliver]

Reading from a prepared statement, President Bush announced today that he has declared war on national unity.

"This country cannot afford to ignore the threat of national unity any longer, " said Bush. "A growing and gathering spirit of compromise and congeniality has begun to emerge. It must not be allowed to destroy the divisions and bastions of partisan anger I and my fellow neoconservatives have worked so hard to erect. Under my leadership, we've come too far apart to go back now."

"The goal of retaining Dick Cheney and me in office must and will be achieved. We will pay any cost, overcome any obstacle, take any action necessary to ensure that goal. This great country cannot afford to return to a time when people of different races, different religions, yes even of different parties attempted to get along. A united America cannot be allowed to flourish, and I will not allow the threat of reasoned compromise to bring together those who must remain apart if neoconservatism is to survive."

"Therefore, under powers granted me by the constitution, I am declaring war on national unity. This enemy we ... will ... defeat! May God help us in our just cause, and may God Bless America -- some more than others."

[NC_Nurse]

1. Great post

I wish he was that honest!

[salinen]

2. If lying caused acne

Chimp would be one big zit.