Field Guide to GD: '04 Arguments

[Emperor_Norton_II]

The hundred-post threads stomping on Candidate A in favor of Candidate B, then the two of them ganging up on Candidates C-Z got you confused?

Never fear, citizen! Your Emperor has prepared this handy guide to navigating the minefield. For your education, I present the Field Guide to DU Arguments:

1) Initial poster presents opinion, usually stated as fact, if not Absolute Truth.

2) Followup poster expresses skepticism, ranging from mild to severe.

3) Initial poster, upset and uncomprehending why the post was not greeted with acclaim, responds with the same argument phrased differently.

4) Skeptic requests clarification and/or additional information.

5) Initial poster posts long list of googled links and/or quotes, often with only tangential connection to the original topic.

6) Skeptic, baffled as to what the list has to do with anything, requests clarification again.

7) Repeat steps 3-6 for at least an hour of real-time.

8) Initial poster begins lambasting skeptic with veiled personal insults.

9) Skeptic, beginning to get tired of the runaround, responds with sarcasm.

10) Initial poster reacts to sarcasm, declares skeptic to be a paid agent and/or close, personal friend of Karl Rove.

11) Skeptic reacts to accusation with outright and abject mockery.

12) Repeat steps 8-11 for at least an hour.

13) Skeptic finally gives up and abandons thread.

14) Initial poster declares "victory."

Add sycophants, fanboys, Merry Pranksters, freepi and other assorted DU wildlife to taste.

[Padraig18]

1. LOLOLOL!

[Name removed]

2. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Emperor_Norton_II]

4. *shrug* I'm still here

Though the night is still young...

[flaminbats]

11. one youthful indiscretion is worth more than a volume of Encyclopedias.

Knowledge or intelligence, which is the more beneficial?

[edzontar]

24. If only THAT were true!!!!

nt

[Frodo]

3. I don't think that's correct.

You've got no supporting evidence to support your "theory" (and it's nothing BUT a theory).

You are obviously a newbie.

[Emperor_Norton_II]

5. But...

It's true, there's a flow and pattern to events in DU, and it follows the model almost letter perfect.

[Padraig18]

7. Did you leave out 'thread-jacking' on purpose?

That happens a LOT.

[Emperor_Norton_II]

14. Thread-jacking's more of a sport than a natural process.

Kinda like how bungee-jumping evolved from people creating bridges.

[Frodo]

8. I still dont get it.

Can you give a link?

Perhaps your point is not clear enough.


I still doubt you are a real Democrat.

[Emperor_Norton_II]

10. Sure, no problem

http://home.netcom.com/%7Emblackwl/lovesolo.txt

http://slashdot.org /

http://groups.google.com /

All these prove my theory is correct.

[Frodo]

12. BULL! That proved NOTHING!

Listen, you may think you’re a nice guy… but we have a serious purpose here. This board is going to look like a bunch of fools if you keep coming in here all arrogant and $h1T and tell everyone that they can’t hold an adult conversation!

Ever other freeper is probably laughing his @#$% head off at how stupid we look in your #@#$ post!

Go ahead, do the enemy’s work for him – but do it somewhere ELSE!

[Emperor_Norton_II]

13. Oh, wait. You're *serious.*

Goddamn Cartman, unclench for a second, would you?

Three things:

1) This place is about as serious as Romper Room. It's a yakking hall, not the nerve center for the 2004 campaign.

2) The freepi are going to laugh at DU anyway so we might as well give them something actually funny to laugh at.

3) Remove the stick from thy colon, brother hobbit.

If you still want to throw a snit, the Alert button is right there. Won't be the first time, won't be the last. Not for another 29 posts, anyway.

[Frodo]

16. I can tell when I'm being insulted!

I'm outta here. You weren't worth listening to anyway.

Buddy, I "alerted" you after the very first reply. I'm all about efficiency.






Who is Cartman?

[Emperor_Norton_II]

18. Cool. I win.

Nice to see the old mojo in action.

Today the campaign discussions, tomorrow the world!

[Frodo]

22. Not hardly.

You left off the part where the other guy jumps back in three days later with a "you're still wrong" in the hopes that he gets the last word.

[Emperor_Norton_II]

23. The last word?

You mean, like this?

HA! I win again!

[Frodo]

25. I'm afraid not.

And I don't appreciate you "alerting" me.

[LiberalBushFan]

6. hey you went past step 2

you're supposed to wait for 3 to happen before you go to 4 and beyond

[Frodo]

9. Nahhh.

It was just "severe criticism"

[dweller]

15. Dupe

poop
alert, obvious flamebait, etc.

dp

[Emperor_Norton_II]

17. Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!

Evil radioactive imperialist is having a bit of fun! We can't tolerate this!

[chocolateeater]

19. Oh, I agree totally

[corporatewhore]

20. lol

[maddezmom]

21. thanks for the early morning laugh! :)