I really got a kick out of these idiot sightings.

[heidler1]

The e-mail was sent to me by a strong Republican and all but the first idiot is from a RED STATE . #1 idiot sighting didn’t say what state it happened in.


#1 IDIOT SIGHTING: Hubby and I had to have the garage door repaired. The
Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
"large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that
we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook
his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2
was larger than 1/4. He said, "No, it's not. Four is larger than two." We
haven't used Sears repair since.
_____________________________________________________
#2 IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road The reason: "Too many deer
are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them
to be crossing anymore." From Kingman , KS
_____________________________________________________
#3 IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and
ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal
lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City
_____________________________________________________
#4 IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
_____________________________________________________
#5 IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to
cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker
of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What
on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in
Wichita , KS
_____________________________________________________
#6 IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker:
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented
cheerfully, "This is fun...we should do this more often." Not another word
was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
_____________________________________________________
#7 IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
back into itself, and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why
her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs
office, no less.
_____________________________________________________
#8 IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I
instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "Its open!" His reply, "I know - I
already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton ,
Mississippi !
_____________________________________________________

[gateley]

1. Yep. You know all these people have an R behind their name. nt

[HughMoran]

4. Definitely a qualification to be in the R party

I bet these people are in Bush's cabinet now!

[The Wielding Truth]

2. This is what I mean . Can we get them to work for us?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=2184883&mesg_id=2184883

[hvn_nbr_2]

3. I had to R this one. We all need some laughs. nt

[truedelphi]

5. These have to be made up? or maybe

Considering story one: they half to be made up!

My family is convulsed on the floor. They are laughing so hard, perhaps no one but me will eat the yummy dinner.

[Sparkly]

6. As Bill Engvall would say, "Here's yer sign."

Although I agree, the sign might as well say "R."

[troubleinwinter]

7. My step-grandmother was an idiot

so my mother told her that they grow spaghetti on farms. She responded, "Yes, I think they must have nice farms for that in Italy."

[Sentath]

8. #4 is NOT an idiot

That was sardonic acknowledgment of the self-contradictory nature of that question.

[slampoet]

9. All Plagiarized from old Jokes!! MOST of these are made up!

#2 is either copied from Grandpa Jones, from someone else on Hee Haw, or it appeared in the Reader's Digest. I am sure i have heard this joke repeated at a bait shop, deer stand, or ice shanty sometime before 1978.

#3 is an old borscht-belt joke that also had a revival in the 80's, which is last i heard/read it.

#5 is a joke that my disabled friends tell to make fun of the able-bodied people. Some other classics in this genre are the hotel clerk giving a wake up call to a deaf customer by slipping a note under the door, and the one that ends with the punchline, "Great but where's his wheelchair?"

#6 i read this joke sometime in the early 90's, maybe Mondo2000 or Wired?

#8 As a person of East European decent I regret to inform you that the final joke is a joke form that i had thought died out in the very early 80's. The joke in #8 is an adapted version of a "Polack" joke......

........but in a way aren't they all?

[heidler1]

10. Most of the Pollack jokes were originally little moron jokes and no doubt much earlier.

To me the funny part of this post was that a Republican sent it not noticing that they were mostly from red states. I sent him a copy of what I noticed and the next time we met he threatened to never send me any more e-mails, but he already has.