Abstinence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder, And Apparently Hornier Too

[DeSwiss]

SOURCE: AP

Abstinence Students Still Sexually Active

By KEVIN FREKING

WASHINGTON (April 14) - Students who took part in sexual abstinence programs were just as likely to have sex as those who did not, according to a study ordered by Congress .

Also, those who attended one of the four abstinence classes that were reviewed reported having similar numbers of sexual partners as those who did not attend the classes. And they first had sex at about the same age as other students - 14.9 years, according to Mathematica Policy Research Inc.

The federal government now spends about $176 million annually on abstinence-until-marriage education. Critics have repeatedly said they don't believe the programs are working, and the study will give them reinforcement.

more: http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/abstinence-students-still-sexually/20070413170309990001

*** - So we spend $176 million dollars each and every year trying to stop what Mother Nature made natural. These damned baby boomer Rethug politicians are just pissed because the youngun's today are acutally doing what they only dreamed about. Or wanked off to in bed at night. While all alone. Or with their tattered copies of GQ and Playgirl magazine. (Hey! God saw YOU!!!)

So these sexually repressed puritians end up either remaining in the closet, chasing Congressional Pages around the office, or becoming gay porn stars themselves. All the while singing Bringing In The Sheeves at the 700 Club or praying with James Dobson. They ain't getting any, and they don't want nobody else to get any either!!!

Peachy.

[eagleswing963]

1. Once again, some religious people telling us how to live

Keep your religion out of my bedroom!!

[DeSwiss]

6. But, but, but....

...if they do that, what then will they do with themselves!?!?!?!

I mean its not like they could just go around helping people and stuff. And loving their brothers and sisters as themselves or whatever.

I mean its not like they're Jesus or somebody. Right?

:shrug:

This post has been heavily laced with :sarcasm: Please, handle with care....

[WCGreen]

2. That's a good thing....

Teach the kids what they are missing and then turn 'em loose...

[DeSwiss]

7. Exactly!!!

Abstinence Teacher: Okay kids, today we will be discussing P*ssies and D*cks. Now the P and the D aren't to be played with (hehe). You must never touch yourself down there, nor allow yourself to BE touched down there. And when you go to the bathroom, use tongs. Ahhh, yes?

Nerdy Student: {frantically waving hands} My Momma told me that sex was dirty. Is that true?

Abstinence Teacher: Of course it is. Filthy and vile and disgusting. Its terrible. I don't know how we've survived all this time having to do such ungodly things to each other.

Nerdy Student: Like what?

Abstinence Teacher: Please take out your hymnals while we sing, "Can't Nobody Do It Like Jesus." Amen!!!

I'm sorry but I had to laugh at myself!!!! :rofl:

[AtomicKitten]

3. "It works like this, see."

"The train moves, not the station."

*** Jon Lovitz as Ernie Capadino in "A League of Their Own."

[DeSwiss]

9. Or in this case....

...the train is "delayed" and the station is "mothballed."

That is until the correct fare is paid: one wedding ring.

:7

[AtomicKitten]

11. all aboard

[DeSwiss]

13. People all over the world....

...join hands. Get on the LOVE TRAIN, LOVE TRAIN......

Oh yeah!!!

:)

[acmavm]

4. Why are they so damned determined to go this 'abstinence' route?

Have you taken a good look at some of these republicans?

They figure if they can't get any no one should.

[DeSwiss]

10. Problem is....

...when I look at these ReThugs, I wonder how they got created at all!!!

I mean Babs??? Yeesh!!! Now there's a picture of abstinence if I ever saw one. Too late of course, but they should use her pic on all the textbooks. Lord, am I glad I'm outta high school.

}(

[Double T]

5. LOL to your commentary, really funny rant!!!

The abstinence idiots are completely out of touch with reality about sex, as well as many other issues and subjects. It is unlikely you or anyone else is going to change their narrow, small minds. If $176 million was spent on sex education, perhaps there might not be so many cases of STDs.

[DeSwiss]

8. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll be appearing here nightly....

...don't forget to tip the waiters real good. They supply the only food I can afford to eat!

[BOSSHOG]

12. Do not let your girlfriend put her lips on your penis

It is uncleansed. However showering with jimmy dobson is acceptable.

[DeSwiss]

14. Umm, umm...

...even if she wears lipstick!?!?! :o

And I ain't taken no showers with Jimmy Dobson. He has cooties!