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Edited on Sun Apr-01-07 10:42 PM by NanceGreggs
Take My Party … PLEASE!
By Nancy Greggs
Okay, I’ll admit it – just this once. Although I hated their tactics, I used to have a grudging admiration for the GOP’s ability to spin the filthiest straw into prime-time gold.
They’d show up on the TV news and political shows, the Oh-So-Ready-For-Primary-Time Players, touting their GOP crowd-pleasing one-liners – Support the Troops, Fighting ‘em Over There, The Terrorists Will Have Won – all plucked from a seemingly bottomless pit of sure-to-please punchlines that had the faithful on their feet, praisin’ the Lord and passing the ammunition.
But in the past few months, the Republican powers-that-be seem to have lost their ability to capture the imaginations of their ever-waning audience, and the rim-shots are few and far between.
What the BushCo supporters need is some new material – you know, some schtick that doesn’t sound like a Catskills comic playing to the Early Bird Special crowd, anxious to take advantage of the $3.99 sirloin steakette special with all the fixin’s.
The lapse into tired old gags is now all too obvious, and it’s sad to see what was once a well-oiled propaganda machine dissolve into the cliché-ridden clutches of yesteryear.
John McCain’s recent mishap in Iraq is a classic example of a Mad-TV skit gone too far. A smarter politician would have gracefully backed off previous statements about Iraq being a safe place. But poor Johnny had to take the joke to its limits, a sure-fire way to lose the audience. Perhaps he mistakenly thought that Lindsay Graham, playing Lou Costello to his Bud Abbott, would get the crowd going when he piped up with, “And I got five rugs for five bucks!”
The only thing missing from the scene was Mr. Fields chasing the two erstwhile politicians, demanding his unpaid back rent – which, last time he looked, was in the billions.
And who can watch the Bush/Gonzo show these days without being reminded of Lucy and Ethel, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for their recent misadventures while Ricky and Fred (now armed with subpoenas) tap their feet impatiently, insisting in no uncertain terms that they’ve got some ‘splaining to do?
The current success in Iraq is a veritable mine-field (you’ll pardon the expression) of same-old/same-old less-than-funny material these days. While the GOP insists that morale is high among the troops, when asked the question point-blank (again, you’ll pardon the expression) the average soldier is more than likely to tell you that all in all, he’d rather be in Philadelphia.
Even the PNAC boys have been in a noticeable slump, with nary an original line since sweets and flowers. I’m not saying that their allegedly new material is a direct steal from the Our Gang comedies, but, “Hey, we’ve still got some old uniforms out in the barn, whadda you say we put on a surge” has an all-too-familiar ring to it.
Marching in lock-step behind their Republican masters, the MSM is still mired in ‘seventies SNL humor, daily declaring that like Generallisimo Francisco Franco, Anna-Nicole Smith is still dead.
Of course there are those who don’t know a set-up for a gag when it’s handed to them on a silver platter full of rubber chickens. Why aren’t Guiliani and Gingrich taking advantage of the mother-in-law joke opportunities – being as they have plenty of material? Or at least a reliance on the perennial favorite, “That was no lady, that was my wife – and so was that my wife – and so was that my wife.” Come on, people, this stuff literally writes itself.
Why hasn’t Cheney opined on the Gannon and/or Foley fiasco with the classic last night I shot an elephant in my pajamas routine? It would seem that “And how he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know” line is just begging to be trotted out for one last laugh.
Well, GOP, one of these days – say a day in November 2008 – it will be pow, zing, right to the moon.
It will be a day full of Dyn-o-mite, a day that will have you clutching at your hearts, saying, “Elizabeth, I’m comin’ to join you.” A day that you will be told by the American people to stifle yourselves – just stifle! A day that you’ll all look back on the worn-out material you’ve been passing off as political strategery and say, “Well, this is another fine mess we’ve gotten ourselves into.”
And guess who'll be laughing - all the way to the White House?
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