An Appropriate Apology (i.e. the One We'll NEVER Hear)

[NanceGreggs]

An Appropriate Apology
By Nancy Greggs


Mr. Bush:

Today’s debate about John Kerry’s remarks, and your reaction to same, have prompted much discussion about the concept of an apology to our troops, and who truly owes one in view of the present circumstances.

I realize how difficult it is for someone like you to admit you are wrong, and to issue an apology for your many, many mistakes.

In an effort to be of assistance, I have drafted an apology for you. I am sure someone will read it to you (I understand your wife has some proficiency in that regard), and then you can simply sign it.

I, GEORGE W. BUSH, do so solemnly declare the following:

I AM SORRY I involved our country in a war based on lies, deceit and fabrication.

I AM SORRY I misled the representatives of the People by presenting ‘intelligence’ that was cherry-picked to paint a false picture of the true state of affairs in Iraq.

I AM SORRY I left the conduct of this war to people like Donald Rumsfeld, and others whose incompetence was obvious from the outset.

I AM SORRY I falsely represented myself during my campaign for the presidency as someone who would never send our troops into harm’s way unless the reasons for doing so were obvious and legitimate, and a comprehensive exit strategy was in place beforehand.

I AM SORRY for lying to the American people about the progress of this war at every turn, and for stubbornly insisting that ‘Stay the Course’ was the only viable strategy.

I AM SORRY for lying after-the-fact by insisting that I had never said ‘Stay the Course’, in the same way I have consistenly lied about pretty much everything.

I AM SORRY for encouraging young men and women to join the military and fight for our country in hellish circumstances, knowing that when it was my duty to serve, I steadfastly avoided combat service.

I AM SORRY for using our troops as a backdrop for photo-ops when it promoted my own political agenda, while refusing to allow any photographs of their remains being returned to their homeland as is their due final honor.

I AM SORRY for standing on an aircraft carrier declaring ‘Mission Accomplished’ when I knew that mission was ill-defined, predicated on falsehoods, and would inevitably lead to the unnecessary deaths of our troops.

I AM SORRY for referring to the deaths of thousands of US soldiers and hundreds of civilian Iraqi deaths as a ‘comma’ in history.

I AM SORRY for allowing the political agenda of myself and my party, as well as the bottom-line interests of corporations, to dictate foreign policy to the detriment of my country and its citizens.

I AM SORRY for creating an atmosphere that increases acts of terrorism, and encourages hatred and violence against the very nation I have sworn to protect.

I AM SORRY for promoting a war-of-choice as a war-of-necessity, in order to justify my own arrogance, incompetence and stupidity.

I AM SORRY for enriching the war-profiteers by handing them billions of taxpayers’ dollars, without question and without a semblance of accountability.

I AM SORRY for sending our troops into battle without sufficient body armor, vehicle armor, and the other necessary equipment to keep them safe.

I AM SORRY for allowing our troops to have their pensions and benefits gutted while they were engaged in battle at my behest.

I AM SORRY for condoning the use of torture on innocent Iraqi civilians, while at the same time hypocritically making speeches about ‘winning hearts and minds’.

I AM SORRY for accusing others of lacking in patriotism when they valiantly attempted, with their country’s best interests at heart, to dissuade me from this ill-fated course of action.

I AM SORRY for the deaths I have caused, as well as the wounding of body, mind and spirit of our brave soldiers, and the suffering of those who I have allowed to be abandoned by the very government that sent them into combat.

But above all else, I AM MOST AGREGIOUSLY SORRY for making a mockery of my role as Commander-in-Chief by deliberately insulating myself against reality, by stubbornly refusing to accept constructive criticism from military strategists who know far more than I, and by failing to put the lives of our military and our nation’s well-being above my own vanity and inability to admit that I was wrong.

Go ahead and sign it, George. You can always attach a ‘signing statement’ – which, in effect, says you were lying when you agreed to the aforementioned. It’s kind of like the way you were lying when you swore to uphold the Constitution.

You know how it’s done.

[omega minimo]

1. P.S. I AM SORRY for the Katrina genocide and that flysuit codpiece

[NanceGreggs]

2. Just trying to stick with the Iraq situation here ...

... because I don't want to clog the internet tubes by naming ALL of the Idiot's transgressions.

But you're right about the flysuit codpiece!!! (What DO we tell the children?)

[omega minimo]

5. Dunno

"It's a fanny pack for The Football"? :shrug:

[indepat]

3. Wonder if W is really sorry for even the slightest of these horrible transgressions?

[NanceGreggs]

4. I would say ...

... not a fuckin' chance.

One has to have a conscience to feel guilt, remorse, or a need to apologize or make amends.

I guess that leaves Georgie out of the discussion, doesn't it?

[bleever]

6. My pleasure to send this to the Greatest

in addition to its rightful place on the home page.

[Auntie Bush]

7. K & R

That man is one SORRY excuse of a human being.

[JeffR]

8. Oh, he's sorry alright...

As sorry a miserable excuse for a human being as has ever occupied the Oval Office. Emphasis on the word "occupied".

[Blue_In_AK]

9. Thank you, Nance

Once again, you hit the ball out of the park. :applause: