There's A Meltdown At Freak Republic !!!!

[DemocratSinceBirth]

Heavenly Father, you are the author of the universe, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Please Father, do not remove your hand of mercy from this great country America. Move your people to action this Tuesday. Make our will comport with Your will. Strengthen those who are weak, that they may make the right choice. Do not abandon your faithful ones, Lord. Let truth and justice prevail. Amen.



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TOPICS: Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: BUSH; ELECTION; PRAYER
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Fast one meal on Monday -- Just one meal -- you can do it!!

1 posted on 10/31/2004 5:51:54 PM PST by CWW
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To: CWW
I fasted on Thursday and plan on doing so again tomorrow. Remember all, that along with fasting comes prayer, pray any time, at your desk in the car, wherever...we have to do this, we have to petition the lord to bless this nation even though as a whole we don't deserve it.



2 posted on 10/31/2004 5:55:10 PM PST by kyperman (Hows this for a face you love to hate.)
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To: CWW
ok, I'm in. After the kids get on the bus, I'm having a huge prayer time!



3 posted on 10/31/2004 5:55:24 PM PST by wmomof4
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To: CWW
Thank you for the thread... and BUMP!



4 posted on 10/31/2004 5:57:01 PM PST by bigjoesaddle (Shrug)
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To: CWW
Lord God hear my prayer. You said if ye believe in me and my word abide in you ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done. Lord God I ask that you let George W. Bush win the electoral collage and the election on Tuesday. In Christ name I pray. Amen



5 posted on 10/31/2004 5:57:08 PM PST by GodBlesBush
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To: CWW
The Lord's will be done.



6 posted on 10/31/2004 5:57:26 PM PST by dubie
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Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.


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[Liberal Veteran]

1. I should register as Jesus and threaten to smite them....

:)

[Arkana]

4. LOL!

Do it! Or I will!

[Road Scholar]

57. Please do! lol nt

:toast:

[DemocratSinceBirth]

6. It Would Be Funny If You Registered As Satan

and told them to pray to you...

[Downtown Hound]

26. LOL

Sad thing is it would probably work. :)

[nookiemonster]

29. OMFG! Stop! My chest hurts! ROFLMAO

[SoCalDem]

44. Register as natas

:evilgrin:

see how long it takes them to figure it out :)

[smbolisnch]

73. Oh you really should.....

i like the Natas idea. The only reason any one of them would get it was b/c they saw it here. :evilgrin:

[despairing optimist]

104. Dyslexic repeerfs would get it right yawa

Don't misunderestimate them.

[Media_Lies_Daily]

110. Try Beetlejuice....that should get them going.

[WCGreen]

131. Smite, they're already smitten.....

NT

[absolutezero]

132. DO IT!!!!!!

Remember to post the link, I want to see the responses to that. I'm already laughing my ass of thinking about it.

[RafterMan]

2. A peep at Wednesday's FR:

"Why hast thou forsaken us?"

[betterdeadthanred]

10. ROFLMAO!

"A peep at Wednesday's FR:"
Posted by RafterMan
"Why hast thou forsaken us?"

[leftist.]

119. fakl;sfdaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAADSakl;

OMG that was funny!!!!!!!!!

[Atman]

3. "Lord God Hear My Prayer??"

WTF, they have to post on message boards to reach the big guy? God is reading FR? These people are lunatics. But we knew that.

[Spiffarino]

33. Book of Matthew, King James Version says...

6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

6:6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

They really should try reading it...it's a Good Book!

[progressivebydesign]

52. Dear God.. please let our lawyers beat up their lawyers.. amen nt

[Steelangel]

75. Indeed. At best, these freepers are hypocrites

they did not practice what they preach. Jeez man.

[shelley806]

94. Thank you so much for quoting that.....

My favorite for the hypocrItical "Christians for Bush"=OXYMORON FOR MORONS!

These vile people praying for a lying, murdering criminal!
And Pat Buchanan sold his soul long ago, but resold it tonight with his outright lies that Tweetie allowed him to get away with.

[Torgo Johnson]

36. Even God deserves a laugh or two

[complain jane]

79. Register as God and tell them all to stay the fuck home Nov. 2

[charlyvi]

5. What amazes me about this

is when Kerry wins, they'll still spin it in their heads that God wanted shrub, but had some covert reason for letting Kerry win.

[osaMABUSh]

7. Get a Brain Morans - this one wants * to win the collage

"Lord God hear my prayer. You said if ye believe in me and my word abide in you ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done. Lord God I ask that you let George W. Bush win the electoral collage and the election on Tuesday. In Christ name I pray. Amen"

[Spiffarino]

25. The electoral collage, eh?

I've never seen that. Is it hanging in the Guggenheim?

[noamnety]

37. The electoral collage

They must be talking about that monstrosity with all the states marked out on the ice.

[Hot Water]

100. The electrical collage.

[gatorboy]

8. Coo Coo for Coco Puffs!

I'm a Christian, but to think God would even care to keep Bush in office is, in my opinion, offensive...

Skip the fast, grab a kids meal....he is outta there Tuesday.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

9. Heavenly father keep fucking with these people's heads

and let that person who is fasting on behalf of George Bush feel excruciating pains in his/her abdominal area so that they may know the pain of real hunger thanks to that corporate lap dog's bullshit policies ( I mean habits...policy bores him ) ...oh and Lord...

[RoadRunner]

68. STOP, you're killing me!

My dog Casey is barking her head off 'cause I'm laughing so hard. Best laugh I've had in awhile, thanks, thanks, thanks!!!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

90. My pleasure ..sorry I was still off praying

and Lord...please give everyone in the current admin a week long attack of diarrhea so that they may come to know the disentary that they have spread through Iraq by bombing their infrastructure...oh and Lord...please make sure when she leaves the White House that Pickles returns all those tablecloths she's been wearing back to the kitchen staff she took them from...they will need them as people will WANT to come to STATE DINNERS hosted by President Kerry since they won't have to eat Rocky Mountain Oysters and listen to the resident bark "You're either with me or against me." Speaking of that hackneyed statement, dear Lord, could you please once and for all inform George Bush that you are against him?

Thanks,

NSMA

[RoadRunner]

11. Those dumb ass freepers.

The book of Matthew is very clear about the effects of fasting: it only works if you don't tell anyone about it! Dumb shits probably never read a Bible in their lives.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

22. They Should Also Read About The Whited Sepulchers (nt)

nt

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. I don't want to dis anybody's religion --

but it strikes me as horribly perverse to pray for a lying murderer whose presidency is mainly aimed at furthering the interests of the rich at the expense of the poor.

[Joefess]

13. Those crazy fucks!

[Longhorn]

14. Wow! Someone has really pissed God off!

Could it be . . . Satan?

Naw, it was BUSH!

[DeminDC]

15. We should go over there and encourage more of this

The more time they are clowning around like this, the less time they have to "spread communion" in their GOTV drives.

[Spiffarino]

16. "Let your will be done"

That's my prayer, too. Whatever God wills is what should come. I hope God wants Kerry to be the Prez, but if not I reckon there has to be a good reason.

Don't take that as a sign that I'm sitting on my fanny...far from it! I've been phone-banking, canvassing, emailing, and campaigning for Dems since March. I'm not about to slow down.

However in the end, what happens will happen and life will go on. I Bush is elected (shudder!), I'll keep fighting the good fight.

[kohodog]

17. Ha ha the electoral "collage" will be mostly blue... n/t

[Liberal Veteran]

39. Do not taunt the electoral "collage"....

LOL

[Hello_Kitty]

18. I ask that you let George W. Bush win the electoral collage

Electoral collage? Is that one of the freepers' art projects?

[opihimoimoi]

27. BWAHAHAhahaha

[The Magistrate]

19. A Pleasure To See The Prayers Of The Faithful, Sir, Go Un-Answered

Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

"LET'S GO GET THOSE BUSH BASTARDS!"

[Tansy_Gold]

86. Yeah, see, that's what I don't get.

They admit they're unworthy and undeserving, but they want God to grant their wishes, er, prayers anyway? What gives? They don't let anyone else who is unworthy, i.e. poor, get what they want, do they?

Fucking assholes.

I told hubby the freepers were fasting for boosh and he said, "Good. Let 'em fast until they starve to death and rid the world of their infestation." (He's watching show abomut mosquitoes and fleas. . .. )

[Cobalt Violet]

Placing orders with Jesus. n/t

[The Zanti Regent]

76. Jesus, I want a Big Mac, Fries and a Strawberry Shake

to go, please!

[BruceWane]

20. Wow.......

....some of these nuts are so far gone that they're fasting in hopes of divine intervention on behalf of their fearless leader......that's bizarre....and scary.

[debatepro]

21. Do when god doesn't answer their prayers

will they keep praying? What a waste.

[jefferson_dem]

23. They are in shambles right now. I laugh now but may worry later. Should

we be concerned about how they will handle the defeat...in terms of "acting out" that is?

[DemocratSinceBirth]

32. Do You Think Somebody From There Came Here

and told them we are laughing at them..

[jefferson_dem]

48. I don't give a shit about that. I'm talking about after their world comes

crumbling down on Tuesday. You know, with all those "prayers" that are going to go unanswered and all.

[tedoll78]

49. I wonder about that.

It's pretty evident.. the Democrats will soon have a LOCK on the Electoral College due to demographic change. We'll have FLorida as solid as California and New York, and soon the SouthWest will be solid blue as well. This would lead the Red States as the rest of the South, and the Northern Rocky States. Every four years will go by without a Republican Electoral College victory - and the Democratic Primaries will soon determine who wins the Presidency.

When the fundies realize that the GOP isn't going to be getting anyone into the White House for a while due to this, they're going to apeshit. Why? No more judges around to slap-down the sodomites and the baby killers. That's why.

And that's when I get worried. At that point, they will be absolutely powerless. With government policy out of their options, they have a choice between vocal protest and homegrown violence/terror. Scary, indeed.

[PerfectSage]

105. Wink

;) US cultural and political trends emerge/originate in California and spread to the rest of the US. Go Blue

B/C No Mo' Years :party::toast:

[Stuckinthebush]

24. I hope they all fast for a few days

Then their sorry asses will be too weak to go to the polls!

Scary bastards.

[phish420]

28. I almost feel bad...

...what will they do when they find their god has failed them? When they find that praying to a pumpkin would be about as effective? When they find that their whole life (and their party) is a lie? Poor cons...

[Downtown Hound]

30. Whenever I start to feel sympathy for these people

I think of one hundred thousand dead Iraqis and 1100 U.S. troops. My sympathy lessens.

[phish420]

98. wow, that worked. Thanks!

[Carolab]

31. As Bill Maher said

"if I out-pray you does that cancel your prayers?"

Hey, Bushies! We've been praying every day for the last four years!!! I think it's finally working!!!!!!!!

[pschoeb]

106. Yeah, I guess the freepers think God is like the online polls

Who ever can freep God the most, wins.

[Mandate My Ass]

142. LOL, Freeping God

They would think that! :dunce:

[Straight Shooter]

34. Heavenly Father, Thank You for sparing John Kerry in the Mekong Delta

and thank You for staying the hand of the Vietcong which nearly killed him and his companions. It is only through Your divine intervention, Most Holy Lord, that John Kerry lived, because it is in Your Divine Plan, Sweet Lord, that John Kerry shall lead this humble nation, and we shall vote for the one whom you have blessed with the wisdom for these times. Praise God, and may America be on God's side. Amen.

________

F*ck the freepers, we know how to pray, too.

[punpirate]

35. I believe it was...

... Jonathan Edwards that once said:

YOU CANNOT PETITION THE LORD WITH PRAYER!

Geez, I hope there's some lightning and thunder over Fresno right now, just for effect. :)

[jimshoes]

53. Jim Morrison

of the Doors IIRC.

[punpirate]

78. Where do you think Jim Morrison got it? :)

BTW, I am not speaking of Jonathan Edwards, the folksinger. I'm speaking of the circa 1740 colonial Massachusetts preacher who was the author of "Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God."

Cheers.

[jimshoes]

111. Ah...

Learn something new every day. :)

[Arkana]

38. Kinda reminds me of "The Da Vinci Code"

For anyone who's read it--remember Opus Dei and the cilice? That's the next step for these freaks.

[nookiemonster]

47. Isn't this a contradictory statement? They have no clue.

To: CWW
Dear Lord, Please show mercy on our country. Please help us right the wrongs we have brought on ourselves. If it be your will, let President Bush remain in office. In your name I pray, amen.



10 posted on 10/31/2004 6:02:00 PM PST by InvisibleChurch (Good ol' Coney Island College. Go WhiteFish.)
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[Arkana]

59. And God looked down, and said, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm going to make John Kerry President to rescue this country."

[tedoll78]

40. I have a name there.

It's years old.

When all hell breaks loose after Ohio and Florida are called for Kerry, I'll be enjoying some antics over there..

"Kerr-ah.. was chosen.. bah GAWWWD! HIS WILL BE DONE!!!"

[maxudargo]

41. Very creepy.

These people highlight the danger of drifting too far from the enlightened, humanistic, scientific values upon which this country was founded.

Let's hope their prayers are in vain next Tuesday, so we can start the work of getting this country back to what it should be: a republic of rational citizens, built on the secular values of the Enlightenment.

[carpe diem]

42. sad thing is...

it doesn't even occur to them that there are some of us praying just as hard for a Kerry win to save this country and democracy itself from the Bushies...but I guess we don't count since obviously God is a Republican and the Democrats are agents of satan...

[maxudargo]

55. No disrespect intended, but

I don't think the outcome of the election is going to be determined by anybody's prayers. I think it is going to be determined by the work of the people campaigning, the level of responsibility of the electorate, and many other factors for which we are all responsible as citizens. There will be nothing magic about the outcome. It's up to us mortals. That's the way the system was designed: for rational, responsible citizens to take control of their own political environment.

It's really none of God's business.

[Spiffarino]

72. I thought God helped those who help themselves...

...so I'm helping myself to a little victory come Tuesday. We are going to bring democracy back to this country.

Puh-raise God!

[Liberal Veteran]

43. So when God ignores their prays will they call him a commie traitor?

Who hates America?

[fidgeting wildly]

92. Why does God hate America?

LOL!

[DefenseLawyer]

45. I can't help but think of the Life of Brian

Follow the Shoe!

[Spiffarino]

81. "No! No! The GOURD is the sign!!"

"Now F*CK OFF!" :evilgrin:

[DefenseLawyer]

113. Splitter!

[Zero Gravitas]

107. Its not a shoe

its a sandal!

[Oreo]

46. These people never cease to amaze me

I could be wrong but aren't real Christians supposed to be humble? Aren't real Christians not supposed to judge? Aren't real Christians supposed to love their neighbor?

Besides the fact that 99% of all wars are tied to religion, my main problem with it is the disgusting hypocrisy that is shown by way to many people who claim to be Christians. I consider myself more Christian than any of these schmucks and I haven't been to church in years.

Only 2 more days until the end of our long national nightmare

[AussieDave]

50. Look - even God can see that Bush is a crap prez

he's allowed himself this one whoopsie and Kerry will come in to rub Bush's nose in it, whack him with a rolled-up newspaper and clean up the mess.

[nycmjkfan]

51. This is the funniest thread ever!!

Kick

[SammyWinstonJack]

54. Will they give up dessert?

"Fast one meal on Monday--Just one meal--you can do it!" One meal. :wow: What a sacrifice! That these nut cases would make such an incredible sacrifice for what they truly believe in, should be an inspiration to us all. :eyes:

[DoYouEverWonder]

64. That's why there will never be a civil war in this country

The freepers wouldn't last past lunch.

[SammyWinstonJack]

70. LOL!

If they made it that far. Snacktime ya know.

[i_c_a_White_Ghost]

56. That's 'Freak Republic' for you n/t

[Amaya]

58. Hypocritical freep whack offs!

[DemocratSinceBirth]

60. My Girlfriend Is A Devout Catholic..

I asked her to pray for Kerry today but not on a damn internet board...

[gauguin57]

61. The Redskins lost.

No WAY all this prayin' is going to mess with that kind of mojo! I just got back from a Dem rally, so I missed whether there was a "Redskins Lost" thread -- I'm assuming there was one ...

[elcondor]

122. There were many

Reminiscent of the night the Sox won! ;-)

[ET Awful]

62. I like the guy who fasted on Thursday and will again tomorrow. . .

Friday, Saturday and Sunday must be the nights they serve real food in his house, didn't wanna miss those pork chops and apple sauce :).

Monday is leftovers, so he goes back to fasting :).

[ibegurpard]

63. Dear Jesus

Please let the Rapture come SOON!!!

[Malva Zebrina]

65. that god bless bush guy/gal speaks Elizabethan English!

wow who woulda thunk it?

[Bluebear]

Lawdy, LAWDY are they full of it!

[quaoar]

66. Message from God:

The deity you have reached is not available at the moment. He is busy trying to fix the terrible mess George Bush has made of His creation. Please leave your prayer at the sound of the beep and The Lord will consider your request when he returns after President Kerry's inauguration.

[gauguin57]

67. They'll be too weak from fasting to get to the polls!

Fewer votes for Bush!

[pacalo]

69. LOL!

On the post by "dubie", they felt a need to put this disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

And this was dubie's message: The Lord's will be done.

I agree with the first poster: Let truth & justice prevail.

[NYC Liberal]

71. "I don't want to claim that God is on our side. As Abraham Lincoln told us

I want to pray humbly that we are on God's side."

- John Kerry

[chimp chump]

139. A good quote

"I don't want to claim that God is on our side. As Abraham Lincoln told us, I want to pray humbly that we are on God's side." - John Kerry

I think most people don't appreciate how shrewd this speech really was. The campaign staff was doing their job.

[ScreamingMeemie]

74. If it were anyone but Free Republic, I'd be frightened.

;) Religion, wrongly used and believed in, is a horrible thing.

[Cocoa]

77. this can't be legal

I'm contacting the FEC, this is way too big an advantage for Bush, I'm demanding an injunction against all prayers.

[doni_georgia]

80. According to the Bible - no leader is appointed, elected, selected without

God ordaining it so. They have preached this for 4 years. Now is time for them to realize that it cuts both ways. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

And as for a prayer here's mine

Creator God, I agree in prayer that the people of this nation need to wake up. This nation was founded on principles of justice, freedom, and the belief that all are created in the image of the Divine. For the past four years we have seen these basic principles trounced upon. We have seen those in need turned away, and have watched innocents killed by people all claiming to be doing your will. Restore peace, and unity to this nation. Bring us a leader who will honor those who gave their lives for this land. Let us once again be a people who protect those who cannot protect themselves and who welcome the tired and the poor with open arms. Take away the hate and the hurt of the past four years and unite us again with a new purpose to restore justice and freedom to this nation. Amen

[vetwife]

85. Archie Bunkers on FR listen up Fasting is not supposed to be announced

GOD DOESN'T COTTN TO THAT ! If you do that sort of thing you are blaspheming and therefore you are going against your own idealogy !
Idiots !

[AspenRose]

147. Amen and amen, Doni-GA

I agree wholeheartedly with that prayer!

You know, it also says in scripture that we are to pray for our leaders...I wonder if, WHEN Kerry wins, they will 'conveniently' forget that mandate.

Dollars to donuts say that praying and fasting won't matter then!

[cyr330]

82. How nauseating

This is exactly why I dumped religion a long, long time ago. As a gay man, I have no use for superstition or pseudo witchcraft other than what I can find on Castro Street on a regular Saturday night. . .

[DemocratSinceBirth]

83. Somebody Should E-Mail Them This Thread...

[Protagoras]

84. They stay home and pray, we can vote

and we'll see who wins :D

[Maiden England]

87. Dear Freepers, G-d will ensure the right man is elected

so you don't need to vote...

[RoadRunner]

88. Freepers: If ye really want to fast

then take ye's eyes off Fox "News" for a day or two, it'll do ye's ass good.

[expatriate]

89. I don't know how they get their resolve!

"Fast one meal on Monday -- Just one meal -- you can do it!!"

A WHOLE meal! One whole meal! Wow, what a fast! Gee, you might keel over from your holy fast, skipping a whole doggone meal! Zowie, what an incredible sacrifice! Going without a BigMac is a true fast, it'll be sure to influence God your way! You'll be admired by all the angels in heaven, forgoing your Count Chocula!

</sarcasm>

Doofuses. Or is it doofae?

[AntiCoup2K4]

128. Somebody should remind them that it's Ramadan right now....

...so if they're fasting, their prayers might not get to God, but be diverted to Allah instead



(Yeah I know God & Allah are one in the same, but most of the Freeps probably don't :evilgrin: )

[Robbie67]

91. Christians Hate America!

"I fasted on Thursday and plan on doing so again tomorrow. Remember all, that along with fasting comes prayer, pray any time, at your desk in the car, wherever...we have to do this, we have to petition the lord to bless this nation even though as a whole we don't deserve it."

[John Q. Citizen]

93. George Bush might not be the Anti-Christ

but he sure acts like it a lot sometimes.

I keep trying to warn the Bushista Christians, but they are blinded.

Now does that sound like the Anti-Christ or what?

[Torgo Johnson]

95. Free Republic MST3k'd

Heavenly Father, you are the author of the universe
JOEL: And He-man is the master of the universe
, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
CROW: And Kevin James is the King of Queens, coming up next on CBS.
Please Father, do not remove your hand of mercy from this great country America. Move your people to action this Tuesday. Make our will comport with Your will.
TOM SERVO: Comport. I will take words I had to look up for 600,Alex
Strengthen those who are weak, that they may make the right choice.
JOEL: (freeper)And if they can't make the right choice, have Diebold
do it for them.
Do not abandon your faithful ones, Lord. Let truth and justice prevail. Amen.
TOM: And awomen


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOPICS: Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: BUSH; ELECTION; PRAYER
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JOEL: Use those keywords in a sentence, Crow.
CROW: Lets see... BUSH doesn't have a PRAYER of winning this ELECTION.
JOEL: Two ram chips for you
Fast one meal on Monday -- Just one meal -- you can do it!!
TOM: By the time Kerry gets inaugurated, you will have lost 50 pounds.
1 posted on 10/31/2004 5:51:54 PM PST by CWW
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To: CWW
I fasted on Thursday and plan on doing so again tomorrow. Remember all, that along with fasting comes prayer, pray any time, at your desk in the car,
CROW: Your hands clasped in prayer and not on the steering wheel
wherever...we have to do this, we have to petition the lord to bless this nation even though as a whole we don't deserve it.
TOM: (sarcastic)Our nation doesn't deserve it,how very patriotic of you



2 posted on 10/31/2004 5:55:10 PM PST by kyperman (Hows this for a face you love to hate.)
JOEL: Love your face,hate your guts.
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To: CWW
ok, I'm in. After the kids get on the bus, I'm having a huge prayer time!
CROW: Whatever you do, dont ever let the kids see you pray.


3 posted on 10/31/2004 5:55:24 PM PST by wmomof4
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To: CWW
Thank you for the thread... and BUMP!


4 posted on 10/31/2004 5:57:01 PM PST by bigjoesaddle (Shrug)
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TOM: You just bumped a thread 2 minutes after the last reply,Einstein
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To: CWW
Lord God hear my prayer. You said if ye believe in me and my word abide in you ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done. Lord God I ask that you let George W. Bush win the electoral collage
CROW: What a stunning electoral collage. Did you create it yourself?
and the election on Tuesday. In Christ name I pray. Amen



5 posted on 10/31/2004 5:57:08 PM PST by GodBlesBush
JOEL: When you see someone misspelling their user name, you know you're
on Free Republic.
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To: CWW
The Lord's will be done.
TOM: The Lord's laundry, that is. Absorbing sins leaves stains
CROW: Uh Tom, that would be ABSOLVING sins.
TOM: Oh yeah, right.



6 posted on 10/31/2004 5:57:26 PM PST by dubie
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Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management.
JOEL: And I am sure they are grateful for that. Let's go guys.


My apologies if this wasn't funny, but I have always wanted to do this. I have nothing against prayer, it's just that the Freepers annoy me.

[maxudargo]

102. ROFL. Great stuff. God, I miss that show.

Maybe if I pray for him to bring it back?

[Hans Delbrook]

108. No Apologies necessary - ROTFLMAO

:7 Oh, I miss that show - don't you?

[ThoughtCriminal]

96. Meltdown, Exploding Heads, Imploding Heads..

Getting tired. Something new?

[PerfectSage]

97. What do you expect from hypo-christians?

It's like watching Linus in a pumpkin patch on Halloween waiting for the Great Pumpkin to bring toys for all the good little boys and girls all over the world...

...Hmm, maybe God would listen to their prayers if they promised God they'd stop whacking off in their sisters underwear?

B/C No Mo' Years :party::toast:

[JPZenger]

99. The Other 4 Billion People in the World Are Praying for Kerry

I hope the prayers of a few freepers are being cancelled out by the prayers of 4 billion people in the U.S. and the rest of the world.

[stevedeshazer]

101. They're backing the wrong guy

This is their King...

[ohtransplant]

103. Kerry has a great line in his stump speech

where he quotes Abraham Lincoln.

It goes something like this, "Instead of praying for God to be on our side, I pray humbly to be on God's side" Amen.

Isn't the basis of Christianity that God's will be done? If those that wear their religion like chip on their shoulders are lost, then their prayers should be for direction and they could use our prayers for their inner peace when Kerry wins.

Kerry on

GOTV!!

[Daocrat]

109. Nothing works like a prayer...

...EXACTLY like it.

Good luck, Freepers. Hopefully, you get so caught up in religious ecstasy for Bush that you forget to vote.

It's incredibly Orwellian that the modern representatives of Jesus Christ are this evil, self-centered bunch. Bush is about as close to the example of Jesus as Michael Jackson is to the starring role in Hercules.

[StupidFOX]

112. "Fast one meal on Monday -- Just one meal -- you can do it!!"

Seriously! It's like witchcraft! :crazy:

[psychopomp]

114. This is not a meltdown and you are being jackasses

Sorry to have to tell you this my DU brothers and sisters, but many of us over here are praying for this country, too. There is nothing wrong with people turning to religion in a time like this...it brings comfort and strength.

Kerry, baby.

[LynnTheDem]

115. They better hope God DOESN'T answer their prayer...

coz if He does, it's BUH BYE forever reTHUGlicans.

[MercutioATC]

116. God does what we say if we starve ourselves???

Yeah, I see it's worked well for the Ethiopians...

[Daocrat]

117. NOTHING works like a prayer...

...EXACTLY like it.

Good luck, Freepers. Hopefully, you get so caught up in religious ecstasy for Bush that you forget to vote.

It's incredibly Orwellian that those who claim to be the modern representatives of Jesus Christ are this evil, self-centered bunch. If these guys are "Christian," kidney stones are fun. Bush is about as close to the example of Jesus as Michael Jackson is to the starring role in Hercules.

[Daocrat]

118. I just caught the 10 o clock news

The youth pastor in our Alabama town's United Methodist Church decided to hold a "scavenger hunt" for kids. Well, it turns out that the youth pastor told kids to steal Kerry signs and burn them at church. The pastor has apparently "apologized" and will be bringing letters of apology to our Democratic headquarters. The youth pastor is still employed.

[WillyT]

120. This Calls For Drastic Measures !!!

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

-- Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

:evilgrin:

[Kimber Scott]

121. Yes, God, let truth and justice prevail. Amen.

[The Wielding Truth]

126. All that's good and holly will turn open cold hearts and Kerry will win!!!

[Xenus Sister]

123. They should have known when God sent those hurricanes

NO CHEATING!

[DemocratSinceBirth]

124. Tell Them Instead Of Wasting Tiime Tuesday they should be praying

nt

[Lydia Leftcoast]

125. Poor brainwashed fools!

:-(

During 2000, I lived in a large apt. bldg. with lots of rich Republican residents, including a family that homeschooled their children. I overheard the mother tell another Republicanite that she and her children were praying for the election of George Bush every night.

Sigh!

[Lone_Star_Dem]

127. They have been watching Bruce Almighty

If they post it on the message board it will be granted. I think they would have better luck with trying for a winning lottery ticket myself. LOL

[West Coast Democrat]

129. Soon they'll be too weak from lack of food to get to the polls!

[DemocratSinceBirth]

130. Those Wimps Call Fasting Skipping A Meal (NT)

[Warren DeMontague]

133. "Tater, put all the ding dongs and ho-hos in the utility shed ..."

We're goin' on a hunger strrraaaaaahk...

[DemocratSinceBirth]

134. ROTFLMFAO

[The Revolution]

135. Freepers! This is God

...frey Jones from the TV magazine show "Rock Bottom".

[Warren DeMontague]

136. Freepers! This Is God...

...Stop Touching Yourselves.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

141. You Forgot...

Good little boys and girls sleep with their hands outside the cover...

[K8-EEE]

137. Freeps Prayed/Fasted Like Crazy Before All The Debates....

Hey, glad they're at it again. Worked out real good for all three debates. Although I don't think they're LISTENING to the answer!

[Kay Autic]

138. It's a typo

they aren't "fasting", they are "fisting"!


Note: Agitator, hysterical MST3K post!

[Hoosierdaddee]

140. God has no stake in the election....

A message from God:

To all my beloved children,

When I created you one of the things I endowed upon you, to compliment your self-awarness and intellect, was free will. You are free to choose which path in life to follow, as you are free to choose those you wish to follow. I do not care who wins your presidential election nor will I intervene to facilitate a victory for any candidate as I do not favor one candidate over another. I will not reward the winner nor punish the loser, nor shall I do the same of you because of who you support.

My judgement of you is not based on such a humanly concept as "political party" affiliation - by now you should know it is more personal. You shall be judged individually on the manner in which you lead your life nothing more, nothing less.

[Hubert Flottz]

143. Fast my ass!

They are eating up every ounce of BUSHIT that their fearful misleader flings their way! Speaking of FAST, the Freepers are anything but fast! Their minds are so slow that, even after all they have seen the NeoKKKons do to tear down democracy in America and the world, they STILL just don't get it! The Bible says, "Go Forth and Multiply"! These fools can't even add two and two!

[DemocratSinceBirth]

144. God To Freepers...

I can't answer your prayers... I'm too busy cleaning up the mess the guy you are praying for has started...

[newsguyatl]

145. these people are fucking frightening.

[The Stranger]

146. Gott Mit Uns

[laruemtt]

148. "dear lord, please help us bomb

all the non-christian people off the face of the earth. in your name, dear god." <sarcasm>

[Clinton Crusader]

149. holy shit.......these people need their own PLANET

:scared: