Now I'm taking a test in the morning

[WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot]

Polygraph test for the County Sheriff's department.

Time to be interrogated by a monotone, total stranger about my whole life and try not to be stressed out about it.

Weee, time to get some sleep.

[NMDemDist2]

1. just remember to breath and you'll be fine

break a leg :)

[Spinzonner]

2. Just tell the truth

but dont elaborate or volunteer beyond what is asked.

And, spelling 'interrogated' correctly might be helpful in that kind of job ....

[Aunt Anti-bush]

3. Good luck tomorrow!

I hope everything goes well for you.

[Columbia]

4. If you want to educate yourself on the polygraph

Check this out: http://www.antipolygraph.org/lie-behind-the-lie-detector.pdf

There is a reason why polygraphs are not admissible in court, federal law prohibits businesses from using them for pre-employment screening and the National Academy of Sciences declared them harmful to national security.

DISCLAIMER: Knowing the deception behind the polygraph may inadvertently affect it's effectiveness and may be detrimental to passing, so peruse at your risk.

[slackmaster]

5. I trained myself to fool one as an undergraduate class special project

It's actually quite easy for most people to fool, once you understand how it works. With a little practice I was able to lie almost 100% of the time without the machine detecting it.

[Bowline]

6. Polygraphs are voodoo science. Easy to fool, easy to beat.

Nothing to worry about, really. The whole purpose of the polygraph is to lead you to believe that it really can tell when you are lying, thereby getting you to trip yourself up.

In reality the machine doesn't detect truth or lies and only makes lines on paper that are interpreted by some guy who has an ego complex.

[TX-RAT]

9. Had a lot of experience taking polygraphs?

(In reality the machine doesn't detect truth or lies and only makes lines on paper that are interpreted by some guy who has an ego complex.)
Damn, your just full of insults today.

[FeebMaster]

10. How you you think a polygraph works?

Do you think there are two lights on the machine labeled truth and lie?


Oh btw, that post was made 6 days ago.

[TX-RAT]

11. "How you you think a polygraph works?"

Respiration
Perspiration
Blood pressure
Cardiovascular Activity (optional) Any more questions?

(Oh btw, that post was made 6 days ago.)
Yea and you've been kicking that magazine thread for 2 weeks.
Whats your point.

[FeebMaster]

12. So there aren't two lights then?

Truth and lie? Maybe a bell just goes off when you lie?


"(Oh btw, that post was made 6 days ago.)
Yea and you've been kicking that magazine thread for 2 weeks."

What do you mean? My last post in either magazine thread was 2 days ago. One of them is locked now anyway.



"Whats your point."

I was just pointing out that your "Damn, your just full of insults today." was incorrect since the insult you were responding to, if it was an insult, was made six days ago.

[TX-RAT]

13. "Damn, your just full of insults.

Sorry i stand corrected.

(if it was an insult)
One of many.

[iverglas]

23. I fooled one

Actually, it was a voice stress analysis thingy, and a primitive one at that -- one that was being circulated for try-outs at the psychiatric hospital where I was on a law school placement, back in the mid-70s.

I didn't fool it when I lied and said I wasn't wearing glasses. But I fooled it when I lied and said I wasn't wearing a necklace.

The staff psychiatrist doing the interpreting (who didn't seem to have had any ego investment in the whole thing at all) said I obviously felt more stress about wearing glasses than about wearing jewelry. ;)

[Bowline]

17. Yes, actually. I've taken quite a few polygraphs.

In my line of work we are required to take them annually and sometimes more often if we're selected in a random sweep.

[WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot]

7. The results are in

After spending four hours listing stuff I had forgotten I had done, being grilled and being hooked up to that damned device the results are....



INCONCLUSIVE!

Somehow they beleive me when I tell them I have not tried to deceive them in any way, yet don't fully believe I am being truthful about my arrest record (which I don't have one in any state or in any country).

Lucky me gets to go do it all over again next week!

YAY ME!

[WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot]

8. Took the second poly today

BANG! Passed. Now after two months I am officially half way through the process. Next up, background checks.

[RoeBear]

14. Apparently they didn't ask you...

..if you were a 'gun nut'. :P

[WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot]

15. The machine would have detonated

had I tried to deny that one.

[TX-RAT]

16. Did they ask you about that night with the goat?

[WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot]

18. Yes

but I told them there was nothing between your girlfriend and I anymore.

[TX-RAT]

19. Thank you, best to keep her out of it.

You know how she talks.

[Bowline]

20. LOL! Pretty funny.

But you would have gotten more points had you said "mom" instead of "girlfriend".

[iverglas]

22. it always amazes me

what some people (claim to) find funny.

[Bowline]

21. The polygraph trips a lot of people up.

Background checks are pretty cut and dried. Either you've done something or you haven't. Polygraphs are very subjective and open to interpretation by the test administrator.