Do you like really gentle men?

[m-jean03]

Do you like your men gentle as lambs? As in, Gene Wilder gentle? Alan Alda gentle? Or do you prefer a tougher character, a Bogart or a Cagney?

I like a guy who can let himself be absolutely vulnerable. When he's laying back with his shirt off, and his eyes show only sensitive devotion, openness, and twinkling eyed curiosity. . .like Alda in the beginning of "The Mephisto Waltz" --

-- Now THAT is what drives me crazy!

[Debi]

1. Only while they spank me!!!

Oh, don't let my husband see this!!!!

[Jackpine Radical]

5. Well, alright--

but only if I can spank you GENTLY.

[commander bunnypants]

2. Glad to see you here today.

No I dont like gentle men, but I like my wife. nekkid!!


DDQM

[m-jean03]

3. Nice to see you, too

[wryter2000]

4. Tough guys

Tough guys are for fantasy only. I want someone sweet.+

[rumguy]

6. Bogart's characters had a vulnerability to them

[m-jean03]

8. Well, OK then!

Go and poke holes in my argument, see if I care.

I know, how about John Wayne? I don't think he was ever vulnerable.

But what is cool these days, is so many of the toughest characters are also somewhat sensitive -- Stallone and Bruce Willis for a couple, come to mind --

But I mean, the real softies. The ones all you guys call "wimps". They're my favorites...

[supernova]

9. So did Robert Mitchum's

I think it's just a matter of a guy knowing when to be vulnerable to his mate and family and when to tel the rest of the world to get bent. That's very cool.

[Demobrat]

7. Gentle, of course.

Any asshole can be an overbearing bully. Look at Bush. It takes real strength and intelligence to be a gentleman.

[Skittles]

10. I like 'em a bit more raw

"sweet" guys bore me to tears.

[buddhamama]

11. tough, rugged exterior

gentle interior, that is my kind of man.

[LynzM]

14. Exactly.

Dead on, doesn't have to be one or the other!

[KinkyDem]

12. These qualities are not mutualy exclusive

Trust me, you meet me in an alley and I don't want you to leave it, you will not think me gentle.

You see me cradling an infant in my hands and you would believe.

No, stop with the either or, it's crap.

A man can be forceful and carring and gentle and stern all at the same time. A real man will defend the defensless as need arises and cry over it later.

Vulnerable does not mean weak. Strength does not mean lack of of gentleness.

[m-jean03]

13. I know that.

Perhaps my post was silly.

No one, except a cardboard Hollywood character, is painted in either Black or White -- there are a lot of different kinds of men, and women -- a lot of admirable people.

I just have a thing for ultra-sensitivity. To an extreme. Weakness is never attractive. But I think a lot of guys are wrongfully chalked up as wimps -- those ones, those ones I like. The outcasts to their gender, as I am somewhat an outcast to my own.

[commander bunnypants]

17. what?

I am a wimp cause I am a ex-hippie, punk rocker who loves classical music and cries during cartoons. Me fight no-way, unless you come after my family. Then simply you are dead

DDQM

[m-jean03]

20. You sound like a nice guy, Demman

I don't call anybody a wimp, but I dig the guys who sometimes get stuck with that label, wrongly.

[m-jean03]

35. Btw, what cartoons make you cry?

Silly man!

[arcane1]

40. The Iron Giant made me cry

Grave of the Fireflies did, too

[commander bunnypants]

42. Bambi

any of the pixar cartoons/movies, Part of Fantasia two. When they are walking down the gangplank and donald a nd daffy are reunited.

Happy Harmonies from the forties.

DDQM

[m-jean03]

43. Monsters, Inc

got me & my dad. Certain relationship dynamics similar to our own in the past.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. hes rights as usual

same thing for women...i am very very tough and very very feminine...

[m-jean03]

19. Difference between personality/gender roles

And actual strength -- ability to deal with life & hard circumstances.

The Universal Survivor is a beautiful ideal we should all try to live up to -- physical and emotional strength can never be overestimated --

However, I am talking about guys who are soft-spoken, somewhat submissive in personality, who are often made objects of scorn by other "more manly" men. They can be great runners, absolutely unbeatable intellectual partners -- yet something about their personalities puts them on the fringe of their gender.

My personality is just not your typical feminine. I don't know why, but I don't identify with women or men. A little of both, I guess. Gender seems irrelevant. I've always found gender bending folks the most interesting, of either sex..

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. no but that is what i am trying to say

for instance: i am very aggressive and outspoke. my speech patterns are very masculine.
on the other hand i am very sensitive and caring and these are feminine traits...

[m-jean03]

22. As I always say,

Best to be well-balanced!

[arcane1]

41. in my experience, those "more manly" types

are all phony macho bullshit, done mostly for the benefit or attention of other men

I suppose personality-wise, I'm the closest thing you can get to a female in a straight man's body, but at the same time I've seen people cross the street to avoid passing me alone on the sidewalk

[KinkyDem]

23. you say the sweetest things :)

you never replied to my PM ...

[nini]

15. Depends on the moment.

a bit of both I guess...


I've gotta say your description of Alan Alda sounds like you should be writing romance novels or soap operas

[m-jean03]

18. Lol -- you're right.

Well, that was a description of Joe Gentle actually, but it fits Alda too. Hey, we all need our fantasy lives, don't we?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

24. It's a complex question

I once dated--very briefly--a "gentle" man who was utterly wimpy. He would not express an opinion or state a preference. I think he really needed a dominatrix, which isn't my scene.

I can't stand the macho-macho man type who thinks that anger is the only acceptable emotion other than stony silence or derisive laughter.

When I look back at the men I have dated seriously or been seriously attracted to, they were all outisde the stereotypical range for their gender, but none of them could be regarded as "feminine" in any way. I like 'em brainy, funny, multi-faceted, capable of the full range of emotions, and possessed of moral courage, if not necessarily physical courage.

In the end, you have to rely on that indefinable quality called "chemistry." But I can state that I have never felt that chemistry with the bruiser types who are so highly regarded in pop culture.

[Whitacre D_WI]

25. Understand:

I'm a gentleman.

[m-jean03]

26. Understood. I dig ya--

Your signature remains a real turn-off, however!

[m-jean03]

27. By the way --

*All* liberal guys are wonderful & attractive, regardless of their rating on the gentle scale. Hell, a cool liberal biker toughie beats a wussy college republican anyday!!!

[GOPisEvil]

28. I need to bookmark this thread.

GOPisEvil <--- the anti-macho-man.

[camero]

29. I got stuck with that label

Most complain that I'm too passive and don't really fight for myself alot but in a life or death situation I'll give up my life if that's what I have to do.

Thanks, it's good to see a little light-heartedness today.

[m-jean03]

31. Hello, David and Camero! I always seem to gravitate

To these types, in a crowd

Funny I do here, too.

Although DU may have more than the usual # of unconventional males --

Liberals being notorious "bleeding hearts" and all.

[camero]

32. That's cause we strive for benevolence

Unlike the Repubs. Really though, the gender straitjacket gets too tight alot of times.

[GOPisEvil]

33. We also tend to think about consequences and how others

will feel and react to what we do. It's a trait of liberalism that is missing in theaverage conservative.

[BiggJawn]

30. "Nice guys finish last"? Hell, they never get to start.

I think I'll go hang out in the Gungeon. these lounge threads are putting me on a downer today.

[tigereye]

34. I like big gentle cuddly guys

like my husband. He is not a fighter, but he is pretty assertive. He is also pretty sensitive.

[ProudGerman]

36. What about gentle giants?

I'm a large man, not super huge, but on the big side. 6'4" and muscular, and I've adopted a 'passive' persona, well, not adopted, I am layed back to an almost fault. To get to the point, the last words that would be used to describe me are outspoken, aggressive and spotlight seeker.

I think it developed because of my size actually, I can tell when a woman gets defensive around me, and that really bothers me. Almost offends me, but I do understand why that urge is there. This is also the biggest reason why I don't just walk up to women, besides the shyness lol. When I approach a woman, they tend to get instantly defensive. Though, their may be other factors involved in that.

Women who get to know me usually end up calling me a teddy bear. Now don't get me wrong, the lack of aggression by no means makes me a pushover. I've had to defend myself a couple times in my life, and have done so, some might say ferociously.

[m-jean03]

37. You sound wonderful!

Big gentle guys...mmm.

As I said....



Balance is beautiful

[LWolf]

38. I like men who

are comfortable enough with themselves that they don't need to prove anything to anyone about their maleness.

I like men who are both gentle and strong by nature.

Edit that; I like people who are gentle and strong by nature. I am attracted to men that are gentle, strong, open, and trustworthy.

[SarahB]

39. A nice balance

Sensitive, open, and gentle, yet with the ability to assert themselves and speak their minds fearlessly- fearless of me and fearless of anyone else.