I don't negotiate with emotional terrorists.

[lightningandsnow]

I have a friend who is extremely nice; just as long as you agree with everything she says. When challenged, she flips the fuck out.

I am now on the receiving end of this. She wrote a note on facebook that involved some pretty offensive bisexual stereotypes, so I commented along the lines of "Hey, I see you repeating some biphobic talking points lately. It's making me pretty uncomfortable. Can we talk about this?"

She completely and utterly flipped out and is now saying she's not even sure she can forgive me for "calling her biphobic".

Honestly, maybe I should feel worse, but I am fucking done. I am sick of walking on eggshells with her, and sick of the extremely conditional love and acceptance I get from her. She completely emotionally blackmails everyone into agreeing with her, and I am totally sick of it.

[Deep13]

1. So how long have you known my mother? nt

[lightningandsnow]

2. I just realized as I was typing this that she sounds like a repeat of MY mother.

Which is probably a sign of something.

[seabeyond]

5. ah ha.

bummer to have a mom like that, but cute post.

[Pacifist Patriot]

3. As harsh as this might sound....

I'm not sure I could consider someone around whom I have to walk on eggshells a friend.

We can't choose our family, but we can sure as heck choose our friends. Surround yourself with wonderful people and leave everyone else to their own devices.

That's actually one of the things I like about Facebook. I have control over my environment there. I have friends with whom I disagree and we enjoy our disagreements and learn from one another. I have acquaintances who have pissed me off and they don't last long.

[LynneSin]

4. I have a friend just like that, maybe once a year I'll suck it up and hang out with her

but the rest of the time I have a better life to lead then dealing with her emotional idiot rantings.

She's from New Jersey so for her everything is way better in New Jersey then anywhere else. Hey, I love my state too but you know at times even I have my limits. Example - she'll talk about how much better then men are in New Jersey and that guys from other states are real losers. I would hear her go on like that for hours everytime we hang out. Finally last time I reminded her she's divorced and can't hold on to a relationship for longer than a few months - and ironically these were all Jersey guys she's dated (including a drunk and a verbal asshole she's dated).

I'm not sure what your level of friendship is with this person - how far does it go back (and for this person it goes back almost 25 years of knowing her), but just limit your time with her if you need to keep the friendship. If not, move on. Seriously life is too short to deal with the emotional bullshit these people spew.

[hobbit709]

6. I don't put up with idiots.

Anyone that goes off on crap like that is no longer on the list of people that I want to associate with.

[WildEyedLiberal]

7. I had a friend like that

Only she was forever accusing others of being "offensive" rather than saying offensive things herself. Please note that I am not implying that you are overreacting; it sounds like you have a good reason to be upset by her offensive remarks. But this friend of mine would be "offended" by literally almost everything, and the end result was that I had to walk on eggshells every time I talked to her lest I trigger some neurotic thing that would send her into a self-important tizzy. I put up with it for a while because I felt like her friendship was worth it when she was actually in a decent mood and didn't flip out over everything I said.

Well, in the end, she stabbed me in the back. She would bring up topics of conversation that were designed to trap me into saying something "offensive" no matter how I replied; she complained about things I did, and conversely, things I didn't do; no matter what I did, said, didn't do, or didn't say, it was the wrong thing and very grievously insulting to her. I found out afterward that she'd been writing horribly nasty things about me on her blog, complaining to all her sympathetic sycophantic other friends about what a horrible and insensitive person I was. I told her what I thought of her and haven't spoken to her since.

Bottom line: this person is toxic and you need to cut ties now and get away ASAP. If you don't get away now, she WILL burn you, I guarantee.

[rug]

8. Facebook is filled with emotional terrorists. They work best from a hiding place.

[Lex]

13. and yet on Facebook you have complete control over who

can even see your posts or comment on them . . .

[rug]

14. If that solved the problem, there'd be no need for the defriend option.

[Lex]

15. Nope, it's a separate option for removing a friend completely

in addition to the privacy controls, but if you want, you can choose not to let certain friends see or comment on anything you do on Facebook and you can hide their status updates too, but to remove them entirely from your friends list, just un-friend them.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. i have a friend like that too. I have decided to limit her access to my fb page cos i dont need the

grief.

our last exchange, she pointed out that my owning an ipad was environmentally destructive (keep in mind i have not bought a computer or anything like that in like 7 years or so). i pointed out that she flies 10 times a year and that is FAR more destructive. She decided to have a fit about it.

Idiot.

[meegbear]

10. The Satanic Bible calls them "psychic vampires" ...

I prefer that term.

[Kaleva]

11. You should have broken away from her long ago

You've done nothing that requires forgiveness from her.

[Generic Brad]

12. I don't have any friends like that

Because I will not put up with crap like that either.