Ugh....watching friends go through divorce....

[cbdo2007]

Geez it's upsetting.

Announced divorce 2 months ago, finalized divorce a few weeks ago, now they're both already dating new people and making their kids interact with their new boyfriend/girlfriend already and stuff, like that's the new normal.

Just wish they would take some time, not just for themselves to heal but for their 3 kids (one of which is already from a previous marriage).

[kayakjohnny]

1. Whoa! Someone tell 'em to get off that fast forward button. Geesh.

That's nuts.

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Well, it is the new normal

but I feel sorry for those kids because the parents are being very self-absorbed. Dating's fine, but dragging kids into it so soon is probably not a good idea.

[cbdo2007]

6. Yeah, you're right....

it IS the new normal...but it's the speed of it all that's is the shocker. Just as friends, my wife and I are shocked about it all still and I'm sure the kids are devastated, but seeing pics on Facebook today of one of them with the kids and the new "friend" is really making my stomach hurt.

Lord knows if my wife and I got divorced I'd be out there "healing" myself by sowing some wild oats, but definitely I'd leave the kids out of it for now. They're just little kids who had their whole family ripped apart :(

[dawg]

3. I agree with you, but in a way I'm kinda jealous ...

I've been separated for 4 months or so. Can't make myself file for the divorce. Other than unrealistic fantasies, can't even think about dating someone else. I'm taking the time to heal 'cause I'm unable to do anything else at the moment. I think that will be for the best, but still, I envy those who are able to move on so easily.

[cbdo2007]

8. Sorry to hear.

Hope you can get through all of this and you'll be able to move on some day.

I'm sure they haven't moved on easily....they must both just be trying to act strong and stuff, like it's no big deal to them, but it's getting the kids involved with this part of it that's killing me. There was no separation with them or anything, it just sort of happened out of the blue with no family/friends knowing ahead of time.

Hang in there.

[dawg]

9. There is a real temptation to find a "love interest" just to prove something.

IDK, prove something to my wife? Prove it to myself? Maybe that's what your friends are doing. I just decided that would be bullshit and still wouldn't really prove anything.

Who knows? Maybe I'm done with women for good at age 43. OTOH, maybe I meet someone tomorrow? Life's a mystery.

[Roon]

14. I was always with someone from the time I was 19

until I was 35. When I became single it was very hard for me to move on. I was sick with loneliness and it took me a good 5 years before I felt whole again. It was worth the wait to meet jason though. :-)

[dawg]

15. Thanks for posting that.

It's inspirational to me. I was with her since I was 18. Now, I don't really know how to start over. I have lots of good things going for me in other areas of my life, but I'm clueless about the relationship end of things. Right now, I'm just planning on living my life and seeing what happens. Who knows? Maybe I'll find my *jason* someday.

[Roon]

17. The best thing to do is not try so hard

but still create opportunities to meet new people and maybe get a date. Take your time,the right person will eventually come along.

[SammyWinstonJack]

21. Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

Take it slowly. :hug:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

4. God bless the sanctity of marriage! (n/m)

[dawg]

5. Don't laugh, gays ruined *my* marriage.

I'm not sure how, but I just KNOW it was them! :sarcasm:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

7. Did your wife have any gay friends?

There's always some gay man saying "Drop that zero and get with a hero!" behind every divorce. I seen it in the movies all the time.

[dawg]

10. Oh, so that's how it works.

I always wondered.

[PassingFair]

19. "Save it, Patty Hearst!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwnFE_NpMsE

[TonyMontana]

11. Why do you have a problem with this?

Maybe they've been estranged for a good long while. It's been at least 2 months, anyway. How long are they supposed to wait before it is acceptable to YOU?

[Sweet Charming Dem]

12. I dated before my divorce was finalized and I never cheated in my marriage

When I left, things were already long over. Waiting for the divorce to be finalized was just a formality.

[raccoon]

13. I got involved once with a guy that had just separated from his wife.

They were in the process of getting a divorce.

NEVER NEVER AGAIN. NO EFFING WAY.

IME someone that recently out of a relationship is just looking for somebody to build up their ego. There is no way, NO EFFING WAY I would get involved with anyone just out of another relationship.


Oh, and these people ought to leave their kids out of it until some time has gone by.

[dawg]

16. C'mon baby! Don't be that way ....

I'm not like that. I promise. :evilgrin:

[Skittles]

18. the majority of people I know who are married should not be married

that's the reality

[MorningGlow]

20. My mom did that

Parents divorced when I was 7. Sold the house, sold almost all the furniture, moved with mom to a horrid apartment, and before I could even figure out where all my stuff was, she trotted over the new BF. Over for dinner every night (and her cooking repertoire changed to all his preferences), putting his ass print into our couch for hours while we watched everything on TV that he wanted. I was gobsmacked. Fucked me up for many, many years.

You're right--people who divorce need to take it reeeeeaaallly slowly, for the sake of everyone involved. They may be eager to make a fresh start, but common sense should prevail. Hope your friends figure out they should dial it back.

[cbdo2007]

24. Thanks...

Was wondering if this would bring out anyone else's own childhood divorce trauma story. Same thing happened to me around 13 years old. One day out of the blue our Mom said she was moving out, so she got an apartment and sure enough a couple of weeks later was dating "some guy" that wanted to hang out and try to be my friend

If that wasn't fun enough, Dad got married about 6 months later and then we had a bunch of step sisters moving into the house as well. Nightmare ensues.

Sure there are some circumstances where it is probably better on the kids afterwards, but many times the kids are just caught off guard by the whole thing, and still dont' understand it 20 years and countless therapy sessions later. I actually now have NO memory of before when my parents got divorced. I completely separated myself from it in my mind.

I'm hoping with our friends that it's just a phase, at least with the Mom who is the main caregiver. Thanks again for the response.

[BlueJazz]

22. Hi I just got a divorce would you like to get married.

:)

[Taverner]

23. Chances are, its better than the fights or misery they've been having