Crappy phrases no one wants to hear....

[GreenPartyVoter]

"We've decided to go in a different direction."

"We need to talk."

"It's not you it's me.


Any other contenders?

[arbusto_baboso]

1. "I understand how you feel, but..."

They NEVER understand how you feel.

[GreenPartyVoter]

24. Nope, and that just freakin' enrages me.

[Fire Walk With Me]

2. "Let's just be friends."

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. "What could possibly go wrong?"

[arbusto_baboso]

4. Or, "I think we should see other people".

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. My bf said that the night before we left for college. I was already scared

enough about school and then he went and tore the rug out from under me. Oh, and the best part? "We can still see each other in the summers."

I got my revenge, though. I married him and now he's not allowed to see anybody else. :evilgrin:

[Richardo]

6. "It's all for the best"

[Brickbat]

7. "We don't always know God's purpose."

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

"I love you like a brother/sister."

"After careful consideration..."

[GoCubsGo]

35. "Everything happens for a reason."

"When one door closes, another one opens." Yeah, sure. In my case, the open doors slam shut right as I am about to walk through. Especially when it comes to finding permanent employment. My nose is shattered, and I'm missing all of my front teeth...

[riverdale]

101. Twice - TWICE!

in the past year, I have gone through the whole interview process, gotten a job, and had the position yanked out from under me before the start date due to lack of funding for the position.

[Taverner]

8. "Anybody who ever built an empire, or changed the world, sat where you are now."

[Nuclear Unicorn]

9. "Goddamit! Who drank the last beer?"

I hate hearing that cuz I'm usually the one who drank it.

[HopeHoops]

10. "Oops" - at a nuclear power plant.

[geardaddy]

19. "Oops" during surgery with local anesthetic.

[Richardo]

11. From your boss: "Close the door. Have a seat."

:scared:

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. Oh, yeah!

[phasma ex machina]

51. From your boss: "So we agree", "team player"

As in, "So we agree that a Coke and a slice of pizza adequately compensates team players for working 40 hours straight to solve a software bug."

Pithy addendum:

See, regarding programming, the powers-that-be want savants. Programming IQs of 200 with social IQs of 75.

[LibDemAlways]

54. At a job interview for a software position:

"You have everything we're looking for except X. We're going to keep looking."

Happened a lot to my husband recently. He's a quality software guy. Laid off since January. In this market hiring managers want it all. If you've got every skill imaginable but never worked with one particular scripting language (that you could learn in a day), you're done.

At his last gig he was brought on with the promise that if he did a good job, he'd be hired on a permanent basis. Busted his ass for five months, drove 180 miles a day to be there, worked 12 hour days and weekends. At the end of it all thanked for a job well done and handed his walking papers. Bastards.

[quakerboy]

57. I once had a pithy addendum

If I didn't keep it well groomed, unfortunate things happened.

[deutsey]

78. And before that: "Do you have a minute?" n/t

[SoxFan]

12. "Good evening, President Palin"

[RoyGBiv]

63. Better Good Evening than Good Morning ...

If I had to wake up next (or even near) that individual every day ... well, I'd probably take up bobsledding or something.

[PassingFair]

13. "Everything happens for a reason."

I fucking HATE that one.

[mysuzuki2]

21. my reply to that one is

"and sometimes it's a real shitty reason."

[raccoon]

33. When someone says that, I want to ask them what was the reason some of my relatives developed

Alzheimer's. :grr:

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

15. "You really need to get yourself tested."

[GreenPartyVoter]

16. Yikes. That's beyond crappy. Just freaking scary.

[GreenPartyVoter]

17. "Honey, I"m late." Also....

"Yes, I love you, and I will leave my wife for you....someday." (Although for that second one, the entire situation that brought the statement on is pretty darned crappy.)

[LeftyFingerPop]

18. Did you ever see a hemorrhoid that looks like this?

[MiddleFingerMom]

43. I think so.

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After a while, they all tend to blend together.
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[Liberal Veteran]

20. I'm not (racist, homophobic, etc), but...

These words are almost never uttered without immediately negating the first part of the sentence.

[phasma ex machina]

49. Or tack on a "just saying" ex post facto after a faux pas. nt

[madinmaryland]

22. How many is a brazilian?

Cause I still don't know how many that is.

:mad:

[GreenPartyVoter]

23. *snarf*

[Drunken Irishman]

25. "You better call the STD clinic."

[NNadir]

26. Why would you want to find out? There's no cure anyway.

I actually had a physician say this to me about my newborn son.

(He's fine, by the way and is upstairs playing the guitar.)

[GreenPartyVoter]

27. Oh, man!

[AsahinaKimi]

28. "its aways about you "

"inteligent design"

[LawnKorn]

29. It is what it is

[MrScorpio]

30. "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you."

No, it isn't

[MiddleFingerMom]

44. Get a menacing look on your face...

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...ball up your fists by your side...
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...and counter with, "It definitely WILL if you don't do it right."
.

[quakerboy]

58. It is

if you kick them right...

[Orsino]

31. "Removing the light bulb will be a difficult procedure." n/t

[TZ]

32. "No offense but..."

Usually something HIGHLY offensive and insulting follows this phrase...x(

[raccoon]

34. "Maybe I should'nt say this, but...."

Usually something HIGHLY offensive and insulting follows this phrase, too. :hi:

[namahage]

38. "Don't take this the wrong way, but..."

Also followed by something highly offensive and insulting, but in this case shifts the responsibility onto the listener to not take offense, rather than the speaker for saying something offensive.

[sarge43]

42. Alternate: "Don't this personally, but ....." n/t

[Deep13]

77. "He's in a better place now." ...

No he isn't.

[Dr Morbius]

36. Who do you think you are?

"Go fuck yourself" is never terribly welcome.

[Tikki]

37. "It's all good"...

Mr. Tikki informed me that this is a stupid saying...I actually agree.


Tikki

[conscious evolution]

39. "Please step out of the car"

"Land shark"

"Is it in yet"

[sarge43]

40. "This is for your own good."

"You'll feel better in the morning."

"Once the paper work is processed ...."

"You have to look at the big picture."

"It's for the best."

"Smile."

[tango-tee]

72. Oh yeah, the "Smile!" remark from some dipshit really got to me

after I managed walking through never-ending hospital corridors, devastated, trying to grasp that the doctors said Dad's cancer was inoperable.

[sarge43]

90. Why is it the dipshits always, always

pick the worst possible moment to dump that one on you?

:hug: about your dad. I know the feeling.

[tango-tee]

91. And doesn't that just make you want to go off... I mean as in really go OFF?

I see you've been down that road, too? Hugs to you in return, Sarge :hug:

[sarge43]

92. As a matter of fact, I did once.

I cleared the room and got me another ass sling to add to my fine collection, but it felt good to be a gangsta. :evilgrin:

[tango-tee]

95. Dayum!!!

You go, girl.

Was curious and checked your profile... love your hobby, you cranky old bat.

:fistbump: from a sister at heart (getting crankier all the time and loving every minute of it)!

[sarge43]

96. One of the few benefits of the golden years

As George Carlin said, "Old people are just bent kids." We get to say what we damn well please. May get in trouble, but who cares anymore.

[tango-tee]

97. Tee-hee-hee.

Where I work, the environment has always been *very* casual. Guess we could have showed up in bathrobe and slippers, and nobody would have noticed.

Now we have a new boss. Senior Vice President. We've never had someone from the Upper Echelon in our office, always having been the guerilla force. Nice guy, but new. And young. Still giggling thinking about how taken aback he was today when I slouched through the office in bare feet. He's having a bit of a rough time getting used to my cigarillos, too.

[sarge43]

98. Sounds like a great place to work.

Casual, plus the rare benefit of messing with a manager's mind.

[Heidi]

41. "It probably won't leave much of a scar." (nt)

[MiddleFingerMom]

45. Fortunately, I have NEVER heard, "It's not you... it's me."

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Unfortunately, I've always heard, "It's not me... it's YOU."
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[tango-tee]

73. Naw!!! How could *that* possibly have happened?

(PS: How've you been? Mosche the Toothless Cat is hanging in there, BTW.)

[Rabrrrrrr]

46. The Death Star batteries are charging, My Lord. I'll be 84 hours before we can shoot Alderan.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

47. I'm pregnant.

[dawg]

80. That was a good one!

Both times I heard it.

[auntAgonist]

48. "I'm sorry IF..... "

You're either sorry or your not.

:shrug:

[Patiod]

50. "She's in a better place now"

Not very comforting if you don't believe in an afterlife.

[LibDemAlways]

52. "You are an excellent candidate for the job. However...."

[Rob H.]

53. Never said to me, but

Any variation of "I'm sorry if what I said offended you." That is NOT an apology.

[Recovered Repug]

55. It's ok, I know what I'm doing.

[azmouse]

56. "They have ointments for that"

[janx]

59. "It's nothing personal."

When getting laid off. What could be more personal than a lack of income?

[bluesbassman]

60. "My bad". Your bad what? Command of the fucking English language?

I absolutely loathe this phrase. Very popular with the teenagers who need to get the hell off my lawn! :rofl:

[Kat45]

61. "we have found a number of other candidates

whose qualifications more closely matched our requirements than yours. Therefore, we will not be considering your candidacy further at this time."

From an email I received regarding a job that I was almost a perfect fit for--I had done everything except one on their list.

Other related phrases I hate are "a good fit" and "skill set(s)" because these tend to be parts of the reason you didn't get a job.

[GoneOffShore]

62. Cancer is a journey.

WTF?

It's not a journey. It sucks.

[proteus_lives]

64. "I'm picking something up on the motion detector."

[Lindsey]

65. Well, mine isn't bad news- I'm just so sick of hearing, "Does that

make sense." When people say that I want to scream at them, "No, it DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

[Zavulon]

66. "Love me some..." or "Loves me some...", as in

"Love(s) me some Chipotle!"

It sounds so fucking stupid that although I'm against laws restricting speech, if this phrase were to be outlawed I wouldn't complain at all.

[GreenPartyVoter]

67. Any more? :^)

[geardaddy]

68. "I just want to run another test to be sure"

[HughBeaumont]

69. "Look on the bright side . . ."

What if there IS no fucking bright side to look on? The only BRIGHT SIDE I want is one where I'm not constantly, CONSTANTLY worrying about losing my job, getting a debilitating and costly illness, something bad happening to my kid or wife, or agonizing over a wretched future possibility of working at a desk job until I DIE at it.

[LeftishBrit]

70. "We must make tough/difficult decisions"

Especially when uttered by a Tory politician.

A variant (from the former Workplace Bully): 'We didn't make this decision lightly'

"Your grant application was one that we considered worthy of funding in principle, but..."

"Such help is a gift and not a right" (one of the statements that devastated me most personally - not in a political or work context); and which makes me many years later particularly furious when American politicians say it about health care).

[tango-tee]

71. The "dark cloud having a silver lining" bullshit,

as said dark cloud is pissing all over you.

[struggle4progress]

74. "Mommmmm! Mommmmm? Do we have a fire extinguisher?"

[Throd]

75. "Please tell me you at least used a condom."

[ashling]

76. "The good Lord was watching over us."

said by someone who just escaped from a horrific oil rig explosion and fire where 11 people (who the Lord was apparently not watching over ) died....

or in a tornado or other disaster

[hamsterjill]

79. "Ya know what I'm sayin'?"

Repeated endlessly during a conversation!

Good grief! Figure out what you're saying so you don't have to keep asking if I know!!! LOL

[siligut]

81. Well, things could be worse...

Of course, if you are still alive, things could be worse. It just isn't a very positive way to look at things.

[WinkyDink]

82. "You missed the sale!"

[Gidney N Cloyd]

83. "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

[Texasgal]

84. "think outside the box"

UGGGG. :puke:

[stray cat]

86. I'm good at thinking outside the box

from people who don't even know enough to be able to measure the box!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

85. ".. give props to ..."

unless it's someone handing props to a stage actor.

[Spaldeen]

87. "McCain is the 44th President of the United States"

Oh....right, that was just a nightmare!

[Wolf Frankula]

88. I know what I said but...

(I'm a liar and you were a fool to take my word) unsaid.

That was then.. (when I didn't think I'd have to carry out my side of the deal) This is now..(when I realize I can't/don't want to.)

We all have to make sacrifices.. (YOU have to make sacrifices, I don't.)

After a disaster. 'It was God's will.'. (And he's the one we ought to hang for it.)

Wolf

[sarge43]

89. Welcome to DU

Good ones

Any time there's a sacrifice; there's a victim.

"It was God's will.": Pretty crappy God you got there.

[RZM]

93. How about 'I'm just saying . . . '

I think that this phrase should initiate what I have dubbed 'just saying mode,' where anything that is said cannot be used as evidence in a future argument :)

[TK421]

94. "This will only hurt for a second"

"You gotta take the bull by the horns"

"It is what it is"

"We all have to do things we hate sometimes" :eyes:

[LeftishBrit]

99. 'Prime Minister David Cameron...'

[Manifestor_of_Light]

100. "Let me tell you about my relationship with Jesus Christ".

:grr:

[riverdale]

102. bipartisan

That is a word you only hear from a Democrat. It is an indicator that this politician will be behaving as a Republican on the issue in question.

[N_E_1 for Tennis]

103. I mean no disrespect, but .....

Ya think something like disrespect is coming?

Then again "But..." anything.