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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 08:18 AM
Original message
Resume gaffes
"I continually receive complaints on the high quality of work I perform."

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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 08:24 AM
Response to Original message
1. A couple more.
"Reason for leaving: "They stopped paying me.""

http://blogs.findlaw.com/greedy_associates/2009/08/the-funniest-resume-gaffes-not-to-make.html

"Matt Salo, director of the health and human services committee of the National Governors Association, will never forget the résumé he received several years ago from a recent college graduate. This person did not have much work experience, so he added a bulleted list of skills:

Strong Work Ethic

Attention to Detail

Team Player

Self Motivated

Attention to Detail"
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XemaSab Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #1
9. My mom got one that said
"Detailed oriented."
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 09:16 AM
Response to Original message
2. I wrote a gag resume for myself several years ago.
Under computer experience I noted my video game scores. Under education, I noted how well I was able to "pretend to give a shit."
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 09:23 AM
Response to Original message
3. I received one with the line "I know database and CRT."
That was one of the more intelligent sentences in the resume. And yes, "CRT" meant "cathode ray tube" - the terminal.

The best part of this resume was the 2 1/2" graphic of a computer at the top of the page. I wish I had saved a copy, but it was company-confidential material. For the record, this person was not called in for an interview.

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Frank Cannon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:01 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. Maybe he knew how to fix CRTs
That's no joke. It takes a lot of skill to fix one of those things without electrocuting yourself.

I, for one, am impressed.
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HopeHoops Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 11:27 AM
Response to Reply #6
11. Um, no. Based on the remainder it meant - "The boss calls that computer thingie a 'CRT'"
The rest of the resume was even sillier than that line, but that's the one I remember.

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Brickbat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 09:33 AM
Response to Original message
4. Here are some interview fuckups....man....
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:41 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. So, lie a lot. Gotcha! nt
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Crabby Appleton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 09:53 AM
Response to Original message
5. Q: Salary Desired?
ANS: Yes
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:10 AM
Response to Reply #5
7. Ha!
:D
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:45 AM
Response to Original message
10. Be as conformist and suppress individuality as much as possible.
Pretend to be a robot who has no personal life and who is not working primarily to get paid.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 02:09 PM
Response to Original message
12. Don't list "acquitted" as an accomplishment. nt
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Kaleva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:15 PM
Response to Reply #12
13. LOL!
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madamesilverspurs Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-11-10 10:29 PM
Response to Original message
14. In a resume-writing session at our community college
our resumes were passed around the room for proofing. Most commonly misspelled -- their own names.

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