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Is it appropriate to ask someone for a copy of their Will?

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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 01:37 PM
Original message
Is it appropriate to ask someone for a copy of their Will?
It is my stepmother who told me she put me in her will shortly after my Dad died 5 years ago. I barely know the woman since she was only married to my Dad for a little more then a year before he died. She got everything he owned. I am his only living blood heir. I don't need his estate but more importantly I don't want her to pass it on to God Knows who.
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Common Sense Party Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 01:39 PM
Response to Original message
1. Certainly, you can ask. She can also refuse.
And she can pass everything on to whomever she pleases.
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MissMillie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 01:47 PM
Response to Original message
2. Someone should know where to find a copy, or where to find the original
Edited on Mon Jan-04-10 01:48 PM by MissMillie
And yes, she can indeed pass her stuff on to anyone she wants to. And you have no legal right to know about any of it until she's gone (or unless she grants you power of attorney).

But you should either know where it it, or her lawyer should know where it it, and someone should know who her lawyer is.

Appropriate to ask for a copy... I'd say no.
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 01:52 PM
Response to Original message
3. It's a good idea to ask where the original is & who the executor is
if she's in Louisiana, you really need to know this. Getting a copy would be nice, but that won't help you if she changes her will. Not sure how Louisiana handles lost wills either.

I say this because my uncle was from Louisiana & probating his estate took years. Might not take that long with your step-mom (my uncle left a sizeable chunk of change that went about 20 different directions), but still something that will need a lawyer to handle.

dg
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PRETZEL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
4. Do you know for sure you dad left everything to her?
or are there stipulations in his will?

If your dad did indeed leave his estate to his wife with no stipulations then I'd say it's entirely up to her and what she put in her will.

You could check the Registrar of Wills in his county. I believe you could also contest the probate.
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 02:22 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'm in exactly the same spot.
He died intestate. Since the realty was by survivorship, she got everything. I really don't know how to approach the subject either.
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 02:31 PM
Response to Original message
6. Is this about ettiquete or legal rights?
If it's about ettiquette, and you don't really know her, you should ask her in some formal way, and not insult her by sounding casual about it. I don't mean you have to swoop on her with a legal representative or anything, just tell her you want to call on her to ask about your father's estate and her plans for it. Say it is just for sentimental reasons, or something, but don't sound disingenuous. During such a conversation the will will come up, and you can ask things like "Have you had it witnessed, is it filed?" Maybe you'll get an offer to see it, maybe you won't. If she tells you you are in it, and you ask her to see it to prove that, you are saying you don't trust her, and that's generally not appropriate, and could result in her cutting you out of it, if you offend her too badly. Also, you don't want to look like a vulture hanging around waiting for her to die.

If it is a case of your legal rights, you should call an attorney. There are all kinds of things to consider, like whether your father had a will, whether everything was left to her without strings, and stuff non-experts couldn't comprehend, probably. :)

Just my random, non-legally trained thoughts. Probably useless, but I like to write. :)
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 03:02 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. Thanks very much
Edited on Mon Jan-04-10 03:02 PM by BOSSHOG
for your very useful two-cents worth.

We have a medium relationship at best. I found out three years after she told a big ole lie about my brother which really pissed me off. My brother (only sibling) died last summer. I find her to be somewhat manipulative, that she likes to be in control. There are other "things" I won't bore you with but my first instinct is to tell her to give me a copy of a document she says I'm in. I may go the tell me where it is and who the executor is tact. I don't care if she lives another 40 years, I just don't want her passing out my Dad's estate to people just to show off. She has no children of her own.

Thanks again. Just a little something that has been troubling me, especially since my Brother Died.

And FWIW, she married my Dad a year before he died and she knew he was dying.
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Lex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 03:25 PM
Response to Original message
8. 1 thing to consider is that Wills can be changed time and time again.
She could show you the Will she has now, and change it next month, or in 10 years.

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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 03:27 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. Yeah, another wrench so to speak
She is a widow of two men. She has a stepdaughter from husband number one (no kids of her own.) She was bitching once about her stepdaughter and said "I may have to change my will." She loves to manipulate.
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Lars39 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
10. Did your father have a will?
If not, you might have been due a child's portion. Or at least that's how it works in TN.
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. He had one
Edited on Mon Jan-04-10 04:04 PM by BOSSHOG
I was the only heir, until he remarried. I'm not too concerned about getting anything but I am concerned that someone(s) my father never knew would get his estate.

To clarify, I was the only heir, when he remarried he changed his will to make her the only heir.
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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 03:44 PM
Response to Original message
11. It's touchy...I woluld try something like asking her if it has been filed...
...and if so, she should probably get copies to whoever is included in the will for safekeeping...she what she says to that.
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #11
13. Very tactful Joey and thanks
Recently when I think of her I don't feel too tactful.

I'll tell her I got some unflattering videos of her I bought from billichick.
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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 04:04 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. If they're videos from the coach of America's Team...
...they can only be good! She might call your bluff on that!
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 04:05 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. I didn't say I was getting tapes from Sean Payton
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joeybee12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #15
16. I knwo you didn't!
Sean who?
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-04-10 04:38 PM
Response to Original message
17. If the will was registered with the county, it's a public document and available there to anybody
Edited on Mon Jan-04-10 04:39 PM by UTUSN
I don't know, but it seems like once a will has gone through probate, would it NOT be available to whomever?

At least, any taxable property is a public record, as to who is the owner liable for taxes.

It would seem that, if he did indeed leave everything to her, it is now hers to leave to whomever, unless he stipulated conditions on it.
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