How can I make it up to Mrs. Venation?

[Bertha Venation]

I am a lousy housekeeper. Mrs. Venation pulls most of the weight in this regard.

I know the best way to make it up to her is to start doing housework, and I'm trying to get better. (I have been trying to do the cooking, too.)

Besides that, how can I thank her for keeping up the house and not complaining about it?

[KG]

1. say 'thank you' often?

[Bertha Venation]

8. Yep, I sure try.

[bigwillq]

2. Is their a household chore that you're "good" at?

Maybe you can trade off. She can do the housework, you can do yard work or grocery shopping or something like that.

[Bertha Venation]

9. I do all the grocery shopping. She LOATHES grocery shopping.

I just don't think that it carries much weight.

We are both spent at the end of the work day, and it's really easy to stop for fast food on the way home. But I have made up my mind to try to do all the cooking and not expect her to do it, even though she works at home. I confess it's a struggle, but it's a matter of sucking it up.

[MrsBrady]

3. Say "thank you"

giver her a hug...

and say..."i'm sorry I don't help enough. I've been an ass. I'm trying to do better. I love you. Thanks, babe"

Something like that.

Then actually do something.


That's what my husband does. It works! :)

[Bertha Venation]

6. I do that every now and then.

But not nearly enough. I do thank her everytime she tells me that she's done something. Yesterday she scooped the boxes. We don't really take turns, but she did it last time, too. :(

You reminded me of a Jeff Foxworthy joke. His wife is out re-tarring the driveway. He goes out and yells, "Hey, Baby? Don't worry about that ashtray in the living room, I done got it! Did it for you, Sweet Pea!"

[MrsBrady]

7. he actually is getting better

I don't question why.
I think he feels guilty for me doing his share. Whatever it takes. :) :hi:

[NJmaverick]

4. How about taking one of the weekend days and doing the things she likes

that you usually don't (assuming there is some things like that). You know a Mrs Venation day, so to speak.

[Bertha Venation]

10. That's a good idea.

Or just running the vacuum then the dust mop (wood floors) with no preamble or announcement ("I am now going to clean the floors! Admire me!")

[cleveramerican]

5. one word "Spa"

a nice gift certificate

[Bertha Venation]

11. She loves a manicure & pedicure.

Unfortunately money is tight, but that's a good suggestion for when things loosen up.

[LynzM]

12. Do the "first half"

I know for me, I am much less annoyed if people, for example:

Put laundry in baskets
Move dishes into the sink and rinse them
Keep items off of table/counter/floor

This way, laundry can be done without collecting it, dishes can be washed without hunting them down and soaking them, sweeping and tidying up can happen without running around putting stuff away first.

If you already do those types of things, than I'd say lots of hugs, thanks, and some spoiling are in order :)

[Bertha Venation]

13. Those are good ideas.

I put dishes in the dishwasher and run it and try to empty it (sometimes she beats me to it).

I suck at keeping things picked up. That's easy enough to correct.

Thanks, Lynz :)

[LynzM]

14. You're welcome :)

:hug: :)

[Flaxbee]

17. Yes! Excellent suggestion!

I don't mind doing most of the cleaning (b/c if my husband does the dishes -- the kitchen turns into Lake Superior). But my life is MUCH BETTER if he brings the dishes into the sink and rinses them, puts laundry into the basket (and takes it to the laundry room), keeps his sh*t off the counters...

He's bad at this. And it would really help me if he were better.

If I remember correctly, MrsV works from home, and you commute. Not suggesting at all that she has it easier just b/c she doesn't have to commute, but it probably IS easier for her to just keep a hand on things around the house, gradually tidying, b/c she's there during the day.

So just do the things you can do that really don't take a huge amount of time or effort during the work week. Wipe down the kitchen counters at the end of the day before you go to bed, pick stuff up, etc. Little things make a difference.

Cook dinner a few times a week, and clean up entirely. Maybe make the kitchen your area, since she hates grocery shopping, you can be in charge of all things kitchen. And then just keep other stuff tidy.

:hi: Bertha. Doing anything for Halloween?

[MissMillie]

15. see if you can't hire a housekeeper for one week a month

just to give her a break

[blogslut]

16. Respect the cleaning

Does she place the throw pillows on the couch in a "just so" arrangement? Leave them be.

Are the towels in the bathroom all nice and neat and folded in a very specific way? Do your best to insure they stay pristine - if it takes bringing your own towel with you, then do it.

Is the coat rack completely clear of superfluous coats and hats? Then for heaven's sake, don't hang your junk on it - take that stuff to your room and put it away.

Are the magazines on the coffee table arranged in an attractive fan pattern? Don't touch them, use the frigging coaster and don't leave your glass or can when you get up to do something else.

Clean as you go. If you dirty one dish and the sink is empty, wash that dish by hand or at least rinse it and put it in the waiting dishwasher - unless the dishwasher is full of clean dishes and then you'll get some major points if you put all the dishes in their proper place.

[applegrove]

18. Put some money away every week so you can hire a cleaning lady for her

once a month?

[elshiva]

19. How about a cuddle?

[Skittles]

20. you want I should kick your ass, Kim?

I'll turn you into a house-cleaning machine; yes INDEED