My wife left me today…

[KansDem]

…for a four-day “ladies only” getaway to the Ozarks. :D

She and two life-long friends from high school (33 years ago), decided to take a little trip to Branson, Missouri.

In her absence, I thought I would:
1. Sit around in my underwear;
2. Smoke cigars;
3. Drink scotch and beer;
4. Belch and fart conspicuously;
5. Listen to music until 3 a.m.;
6. Watch raunchy movies;
7. Sing whenever I want to;
8. Avoid shaving;
9. Prepare bizarre veggie-meals;
10. Talk to myself a lot…
HUH?
I do all this anyway!
??
:(

Hmmm…you don’t suppose that’s why she took this trip? :shrug:

[Forkboy]

1. I was ready to offer commiserations, as my wife really did.

Glad it was a false alarm! :)

[KansDem]

4. Thanks for the offer of commiseratioins...

...and sorry to hear of your situation. :(

Since announcing her plans for this trip, I've wondered a few times if it could be a "dry run."

[Forkboy]

10. Well, here's hoping it's just a trip and not a dry run.

:toast:

[brendan120678]

2. LOL...I was going to comment that...

I typically do all of those even when my wife is around.

And now that I think about it, she has been complaining lately that she just needs to get away and relax for a few days. She's a pretty busy woman, between her teaching job and her union duties and political duties and coaching. Plus we've got an 18 month old who is quite a handful.

[KansDem]

9. I hear you!

We have a 17-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son, but I can still remember when they were 18 months old. Once when my daughter was just a few months old, she was particularly fussy one evening and wouldn't stop crying. I walked her, rocked her, sang to her, patted her, but nothing worked. This went on for some time and I was at my wit's end. Then the phone rang and I picked it up (with daughter on my shoulder) and screamed "YEAH?" A (male) voice that I didn't recognize asked for my wife (she wasn't home), and I screamed "SHE'S NOT HOME! OKAY??!!!" The voice replied "OKAY!" and hung up. I still wonder to this day who that was!

I think it's great that the parents can get away individually once in a while.

[kaiden]

3. Ha! That's what she'll be doing in Branson!

[KansDem]

5. Not entirely...

She hates the smell of cigars...

[cleveramerican]

6. you should have put #4 in twice!!

to be alone in my house is sweet and rare.
a couple of days of pizza, chinese food and beer in any damn room I feel like is very cathartic.


burping and farting without apologizing is a very nice treat.

[KansDem]

13. Pizza! How could I have forgotten pizza?!

And especially anchovy pizza! I just love anchovy and jalapeno pizza!

And jalapenos!

I love putting jalapenos on everything! Pizza, Mexican food, Pad Thai...you name it!

I even like putting a jalapeno pepper in a martini now and then...

And martinis!

I love martinis!

I know what I'm having when I get home tonight! :9

[Swede]

7. Just put pants on when you make your morning coffee.

:hi:

[KansDem]

11. Wow! Yes! Thanks for the "heads up!"

I do grind my own beans and there is that "freak accident" factor to figure in.

Might put the kibosh on an otherwise good cup of Joe...:hi:

[Deep13]

8. Except for the veggie meals and cigars...

...that's pretty much every day off and evening I have.

[KansDem]

15. I could give up the cigars...

But I do love a good plate of Pad Thai now and then...:9

[Deep13]

18. Sweetie would like that. nt

[sarge43]

12. For a change of pace do all that stuff while sitting around wearing her undies. n/t

[KansDem]

14. I do...but on my head...

;)

[sarge43]

20. OK. You know what they say about useless threads. n/t

[sarge43]

21. Dupe thread deleted

[Beer Snob-50]

16. my wife just finished one of these little trips herself

now i am planning a tour of breweries in vt at the beginning of november.

[Ineeda]

17. as a woman I can tell you that

many of us do exactly the same things when our men aren't around. AND we make sure we have a good supply of batteries. Think about that for a second. :evilgrin:

[yawnmaster]

22. He forgot item 6.5

[whistler162]

19. You forgot....

11 - And on the 3rd day call the cleaning service or clean like h**l before she gets home.

[proteus_lives]

23. You forgot:

11. Use the bathroom with the door open
12. Showing is optional
13. Smoke cigars in the bathtub
14. Sleep with the TV on.
15. Wear the t-shirts that your wife is always trying to get rid of.

[sarge43]

25. And carpeting the bath room floor with wet towels. It's a party. n/t

[OffWithTheirHeads]

24. I love my wife but I also love when she goes away for a few days

For many of the same reasons. I can have as many Martinis as I want! The problem with Martinis;
One is not enough.
Two is too many.
Three is not enough!

[jobycom]

26. That's funny. I'm going to Branson for four days with this married wo...

Oh never mind. :) Enjoy the time to yourself, and post any really good veggie meals you create.