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Not that I'm into sexist jokes but.......

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chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 11:23 PM
Original message
Not that I'm into sexist jokes but.......
Edited on Sat May-30-09 12:01 AM by chknltl
when I read this earlier today it made me smile anyway. :hi:


I never quite figured out why the
> sexual urge of men and
> women differ so much. And I never
> have figured out the
> whole Venus and Mars thing.. I have
> never figured out why men think
> with their head and
> women with their heart.
>
> FOR EXAMPLE:
> One evening last week, my girlfriend
> and I were getting into
> bed. Well, the passion starts
> to heat up, and she
> eventually says, 'I don't
> feel like it, I just want you
> hold me.'
> I said, 'WHAT??!! What was
> that?!'
> So she says the words that every
> boyfriend on the planet
> dreads to hear...
> 'You're just not in touch with
> my emotional
> needs as a woman
> enough for me to satisfy your
> physical needs as a
> man.'
> She responded to my puzzled look by
> saying, 'Can't you just
> love me for who I am and not what I
> do for you in the
> bedroom?'
> Realizing
> that nothing was going to happen
> that night, I went to
> sleep.
> The very next day I opted to take the
> day off of work to
> spend time with her. We went out to
> a nice lunch and
> then went shopping at a big, big
> unnamed department
> store. I walked around with her
> while she tried on
> several different very expensive
> outfits. She couldn't
> decide which one to take, so I told
> her we'd just buy
> them all. She wanted new shoes
> to compliment her
> new clothes, so I
> said, 'Lets get a pair for each
> outfit.'
> We went on to the jewelry department
> where she picked out
> a pair of diamond earrings. Let me
> tell you... She was
> so excited. She must have thought I
> was one wave short
> of a shipwreck. I started to think
> she was testing me
> because she asked for a tennis
> bracelet when she doesn't
> even know how to play tennis.
>
> I think I threw her for a loop when I
> said, 'That's fine,
> honey.' She was almost nearing
> sexual satisfaction from
> all of the excitement. Smiling with
> excited anticipation, she finally said,
> 'I think this is all
> Dear, let's go to the
> cashier.'
> I could hardly contain myself when I
> blurted out, 'No
> honey, I don't feel like it.'
> Her face just went completely blank as
> her jaw dropped with
> a baffled, 'WHAT?'
> I then said, 'Honey! I just want
> you to HOLD this stuff
> for a while. You're just not in
> touch with my financial
> needs as a man enough for me to
> satisfy your shopping
> needs as a woman.'
> And just when she had this look like
> she was going to kill
> me, I added, 'Why can't you
> just love me for who I am
> and not for the things I buy
> you?'
>
> Apparently I'm not having sex tonight
> either....but tonight I'll sleep better!*


(edited/changed to make the ending less offensive)



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elshiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 11:26 PM
Response to Original message
1. Take out the word "bitch" and that joke is almost okay.
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chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #1
7. Done-
I altered the ending.
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elshiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #7
9. Now it's great.
Good comment on stereotypes. :rofl:
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chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:24 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Thanks for pointing out how it could be improved elshiva.
I have learned a great many things here in the big DU. One of the most profound lessons I've learned here was how sexism is a form of racism and how we subtly, unintentionally promulgate it without being aware that we do this. My bestest 'bff' passed this joke on to me-she knew better but it made us both smile none-the-less. Glad you liked the edit-I like it better this way too.
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elshiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:34 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. You are welcome.

There is a lot to learn. :hug:
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rcrush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 11:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. lol
:rofl:
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jeff30997 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri May-29-09 11:36 PM
Response to Original message
3. You should cut the last paragraph IMHO. n/t


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chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:02 AM
Response to Reply #3
5. fixed nt
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obxhead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:00 AM
Response to Original message
4. .....
:spray:


agree the end needs tweaked at least, but I love it.
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chknltl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #4
8. end tweaked eom
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Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat May-30-09 12:03 AM
Response to Original message
6. hehe
:rofl:

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