Why do people allow their children to free range?

[Strong Atheist]

:hide:

[raccoon]

1. you beat me to the post. nt

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Because the kids have helicopter parents.

[amitten]

3. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT A CHILD PLAYING OUTSIDE

COULD POSSIBLY BE HIT BY A CAR!!!11!!!111

HOW DO YOU EXPECT YOUR CHILD TO LIVE TO BE 127 IF YOU LET IT GO OUTSIDE!!!!!!11

OR SWIM!
OR RUN!
OR GO TO SUMMER CAMP ALL ALONE!!!111!

You are clearly a terrible, terrible parent.

Please, place your child in the house. Inject him, YEARLY FOR LIFE, with vaccines for everything possible, especially things he will never be exposed to because he is house-bound. Give him monthly parasite treatments for parasites he will never come in contact with. Feed him only food (approved by the medical community) that resembles pebbles. Let him play only with stuffed toys of your choosing, BUT NEVER OUTSIDE IN THE SUN AND FRESH AIR!11! Never allow him to touch soil, let alone roll around or play in it. You may think such play is a natural instinct, but I can assure you it is not. All things natural and organic are to be strictly avoided. (Your child can be TRAINED to not even care about "the outside"!) Be sure to give him highly unnatural prescription drugs for any slight discomfort--sedatives and other mind-altering drugs are a favorite. Make him poo in a box. Forever.

You will now have an almost PERFECTLY PRESERVED child! :applause: Next, detailed instructions on formaldehyde.

And please, never ever forget that YOUR happiness takes precedence over his.

[Deep13]

4. Vaccination is not being overprotective. nt

[amitten]

11. Well, if the animal is never outside at all ever, or exposed to

animals that are, yearly vaccination is overkill, IMHO.

[Deep13]

12. Animal?

I thought we were talking about children. Anyway, even if it is a how child, you can still bring in germs.

Obviously, not all vaccinations have to be given annually. The only one I know about is for flu.

[amitten]

14. This is a sarcastic post in response to an earlier thread,

"Why do people allow their animals to free range?"

Specifically cats. Apparently some people feel that one lonely member of the animal kingdom, the cat, is the only member that may not be allowed to venture outdoors, at all, ever.

[Deep13]

15. Yeah, kitties need to be free.

:7

[Heidi]

6. Vaccination protects OUR kids from YOURS. (nt)

[amitten]

7. I believe in vaccinations for children. This is really a post about

house cats.

[Strong Atheist]

10. It's amazing how threads can turn into vaccination

threads...:hide:

[Amaya]

20. haha

perfect :)

[Jamastiene]

27. You forgot to circumcise him.

:hide:

[amitten]

28. Oh yes, the reproductive organs and fingernails MUST be

removed!

Even though he will never be allowed outside the home, on the off chance he tries to mate with a piece of furniture, his efforts will be for naught.

And fingernails are, well, scratchy. De-clawing your child is the only way.

[Deep13]

5. No internet access, I guess. nt

[GoneOffShore]

8. It's ok if they're Ultra Violet Children

:hide:

[Strong Atheist]

9. Oh, noes, not the infra-red children! nt.

[GoneOffShore]

16. Infra-red children are different.

Their eyes are wise and penetrating.

Whereas Ultraviolet children are bratty and not so wise - more wiseacres.

[Deep13]

13. I was an X-ray child. nt

[GoneOffShore]

17. I was a oscilloscope child.

Much better than an x-ray.

[Deep13]

21. Actually, I was a gamma ray child.

[GoneOffShore]

25. I'll be careful not to make you angry.

:scared:

[Lil Missy]

18. They're not supposed to. I won a wrongful death lawsuit over that.

[sasquatch]

19. I know they need to be beaten at least once a week, sort of a base if you will

Then you add or subtract as needed.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

22. If you love something, set it free...

[amitten]

23. That goes for all animals. I don't know why cats are considered

a special exception. Cats want freedom as much as any living thing!

I think many cats in our country are "loved" into a state of chronic unhappiness.

If you love your kitty, set it free. If danger befalls it, that is it's fate. If not, that is it's fate. But don't turn Kitty into a stuffed animal, preserved indefinitely for your own satisfaction.

[Lil Missy]

24. That's ridiculous. My cats are inside cats, and safer and happier because of it.

[amitten]

26. Safer, probably. Happier, doubtful.

But they are yours to raise as you see fit.

[northernlights]

29. holy craps, how did I miss this?

I just started one of my own. :evilfrown:

[Strong Atheist]

30. It's cool... nt.