I'm weak, fearful, and I don't know how to skate.

[LeftyFingerPop]

I cry easily.
I flinch and duck when a bird flies by.
I couldn't fight my way out of a paper bag.
My feet always hurt.
I have tender fingers.
I'm uncoordinated.
I get winded getting out of bed.

Question: Would I be foolish in applying for a job as a goon in the National Hockey League?

[Fran Kubelik]

1. What's the goon job description?

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. You simply go onto the ice...

and beat the shit out of every member of the opposing team who skates by you.

Sounds pretty simple to me... that's why I want to apply for it.

[Heidi]

3. On the other hand, you have something most guys in the NHL aspire to!

A creative side!

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. Hey...I love my hair.

[Heidi]

6. Have you considered about getting backhair dreads?

It's a look that might really suit your creative nature! Here's another:

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. Now you're going too far...

:rofl:

[Heidi]

11. Huh.

I'm flummoxxed flumooxed perplexxed confused. You come in here all peri-cranky weak, hirsuteand confused, and I do my level best to make you feel better, come up with not one, BUT TWO "up sides" to how you might infiltrate enter the NHL in all your splendor, and you tell me I'm "going too far."

I'll just back slowly out of the room, taking all of my brilliance helpfulness with me.

Goodbye, cruel world.

P.S. Please don't feel guilty.

(Edited for spelling and coarse terms)

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. See...

I told you I was cranky. :cry:

[Heidi]

13. There's only one word for this, and that word is,

CRYBABY! "sorry!" :hug: :hug:

[Dr. Strange]

5. You couldn't get a job as a cheerleader...

and now you want to go into the NHL??!

I'm calling a double minor. Go spend 4 minutes in the 9/11 Forum!

[Bake]

7. Wasn't it just yesterday that you could throw a perfect 60-yard spiral?

Etc., etc.?

Bake

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. Yes Bake...

Yes it was. :D

[Bake]

10. So I guess you should stick with football ...

Hockey sucks anyway. And I hate cold weather.

Bake

[dembotoz]

14. if my kid would make it to the nhl as a goon i would be very happy

then he could afford to pay me back for all the hockey equipment and ice time
i bought for him.
nhl would be real cool.

[siligut]

15. Oh hell!

There is a job like that? Count me in, and I can skate.

[KamaAina]

16. You play for the Islanders, don't you?

:eyes: