Well, out of all my "Non-finest" moments that was almost the non-finest

[HEyHEY]

I was at a party last night. Had been drinking and was onto water. I was talking to my friends Rene and John and I had a huge mouthful of water that I just wasn't swallowing. I coughed or something and ended up spraying water all over them. Then I was shocked at my own sprayness and began to apologize profusely and started using my forearm to wipe off Rene's face and upper torso, which she obviously didn't appreciate. In the process of doing this, I knocked her ear-ring off and the backing bounced somewhere I couldn't see. SO, then for the next five minutes I'm on the floor of this party with a cell-phone light looking under fridges and such for this thing....


Oye.

[PeaceNikki]

1. Graceful.

:thumbsup:

[HEyHEY]

2. At least it wasn't the red wine I was drinking earlier!

[PeaceNikki]

3. Though that would have made the story even funnier.

[davsand]

4. Wow. Do you hire out for parties?

I've seen parties that could use a good dose of comedy.

BEST story I have about somebody messing up bad at a party was one I took a date to in college.

I had a lot of friends from a pretty wide social spectrum, and some of the more gay ones really did know how to party hard. Well, some of them were having a party and they promised me faithfully that I could bring a straight man and it'd be ok--that it was gonna be a mixed crowd.

My date was kinda straight laced--a computer engineer. He was a nice guy but not terribly worldly. We got to the party and it is in full swing and I'm looking around and there are just not too many straight men there and a few drag queens. My date is pretty oblivious to it all, and starts talking to a drag queen that is a complete mess. He actually seems kinda impressed by her and I notice him checking her out a couple of times.

This poor girl is opening her purse, pulling out a pill bottle, and dropping pills about every five minutes while she is spilling her drink everywhere. She gets up to go to the bathroom, staggers against the wall and leaves a multi colored palette of her makeup on the wall as she slides along. It was pretty bad.

The hosts finally persuade her date to get her out of the party.

As he takes her out the door she turns around to give her final goodbye to the room, gives a huge wave (after blowing a kiss) and then proceeds to FALL out the front door while one lone "Come Fuck Me Pump" flies back into the party and lands, spinning, in the middle of the room.

My date sat there spellbound.

We leave the party and are on the way home and he comments on the drunk "girl" at the party. I could tell he never even realized it was a guy in drag and I decide NOT to clarify this in any way. We get back to my apartment we are sitting there post party talking about it and he comments that he had wondered if the hosts were gay. All at once he looks at me in abject horror and says, "Oh my GAWD! THAT WAS NOT A WOMAN WAS IT!"

We stopped dating shortly after that.

So, HEyHEY, did YOU fall out the front door and did YOU leave a makeup array on the hosts' wall? If not, I'd say you were probably pretty well behaved after all.

:evilgrin:


Laura

[HEyHEY]

5. Nope! Luckily some drunk conflict on the front lawn distracted everyone.

[Capn Sunshine]

8. "Oh Canada" always springs to mind reading your exploits

try to make it to the bathroom, dude!

[SeattleGirl]

6. ROFL!

I nearly spit my chow mein noodles all over my keyboard reading your story! :rofl:

[Chan790]

17. I miss those kinds of parties...

my friends have taken to having dry afternoon events with their kids present. I try to find excuses to not attend...never thought I'd see the day that a party was a social obligation I'd move heaven and earth to avoid.

[JVS]

19. Just say "Fuck that, I gotta go get crunked and laid!"

[Swede]

7. The amazing powers of alchohol.

:toast: The cause of, and solution to all of life's problems.

[ghostsofgiants]

9. Stay classy, HEyHEY.

:P

[Pierre.Suave]

10. Smooth

really smooth...

:rofl:

[flvegan]

11. Her upper torso?

Smooth way to get some titty. :thumbsup:

[JVS]

15. I had spit my drink on her, so I began fondling her breasts to dry them off.

[JVS]

12. How much had you been drinking before switching to water?

[HEyHEY]

13. The usual - way too much

[JVS]

18. If you're getting to the point where you cannot swallow, you have a drinking problem

in both the alcoholic and the Airplane joke about being physically incapable of drinking sense.

[Iggo]

14. Smooth, dude.

Real smooth.

:spray:

[redqueen]

16. Could have been much worse.

It's the forearm as towelette that makes the story. Nicely done.

[Xipe Totec]

20. I sprayed my grandmother with Coke once

Across the Christmas table.






Over the Christmas turkey.




I feel your pain....

[Orrex]

21. Let that be a lesson to you: don't ever drink water

If you'd stuck to the booze, I'm sure that everything would have been fine.