LBN: George Lucas Seen Beating Up Geeks and Taking Their Money

[Orrex]

(Los Angeles) Having grown weary of the process of indirect cash-gouging that had served him so well for the past three decades, George Lucas has taken to simply knocking geeks unconscious and stealing the money directly from their pockets.

Some are puzzled by this further testament to Lucas' unbridled greed. "I don't know why he'd bother," note Thad White, Grand Moff of a local fan club of south Sacramento. "He could sell a bucket of his own shit, and if he slapped a Star Wars label on it, people would buy it."

"Come to think of it," added Kris Lantz, "that's what he did with the prequels."

Fans are predictably worried that Lucas' actions might leave them short of cash to purchase the latest in a long string of preposterously expensive "definitive" Star Wars Encyclopediae.

At press time, Lucas was reported somewhere off the coast of California aboard his yacht Born Every Minute but could not be located, despite the fact that no ship that small possesses a cloaking device.

[Swede]

1. That magnificent bastard!

:shrug:

[madinmaryland]

2. Nice post, Speilberg!

[Orrex]

3. After Indy4, Spielberg's fair game, too

:grr:

[Hanse]

4. I was thinking "Jurassic Park 2"

But whatever. Fuck the both of them.

[madinmaryland]

5. Now you are blaming Speilberg for killing brazilians?

:wtf:

..

Dammit, I gotta stay out of GD!!

:hi:

[gmoney]

6. or ET with walkie-talkies for guns?

[Orrex]

7. Clearly you're mistaken

As of the date of re-release, the cops always had walkie-talkies instead of guns...

[LeftyMom]

8. I call bullshit. I grew up in South Sacramento.

Anybody named "Thad" would be sold for killed and sold for spare parts in South Sacramento.

[Orrex]

9. Shows what you know

Thad is obviously his secret Star Wars name.

[LeftyMom]

10. Yeah, but South Sac has like five geeks, and I dated all of them.

There's no Thad.

[Orrex]

11. Well, he... uh... He just moved there

:hide: