I was in fifth grade when I realized that I couldn't ask my mother certain questions. You know...

[Orrex]

This was back in 1982, when I was eleven. Following one of those you-know-what kinds of conversations, I innocently asked my mom a follow-up question when I got home. Her answer was something like this:

"Well, it's a kind of furniture in the dining room, near the table. You can keep extra food on it when you're serving dinner. Sometimes it has wings or flaps that fold open to hold more dishes, but not always. Sometimes it has drawers for silverware."

Somehow, despite not actually knowing the answer I'd sought, I still realized that her answer wasn't quite right, and I realized that I just can't talk to her about certain subjects. My question?

"Mom, what's a cyborg?"

[LynzM]

1. LOL

:rofl: ok, ya got me...

[Orrex]

3. Sure, it seems funny now

But all that afternoon I was terrified that the damn thing would peel off its wooden shell to reveal a rampaging half-robot killing machine.

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. 'Yes, O'Toole?'

"Which one is the claret, sir?"

"The claret is in the decanter."

"The wooden thing?"

"No, no — the glass thing. The glass decanter with the round glass stopper."

"Oh, yes, behind the door."

"No, no — on the sideboard."

"The sideboard?"

"The sideboard, yes. Look — you go into the salle a manger — the dining room, right? And the sideboard is on your left, by the wall, beside the master's portrait."

"Ah! Above the mirror, sir?"

"No, no! The mirror is on the other side. It's opposite the mirror."

"But that's the table, sir."

"No, you don't go as far as the table. You go into the room, right? On your right is the door to the orangery, straight ahead of you is the door to the library, and to your left is the sideboard."

"Ah, yes, I see, sir."

"And the claret is on top of the sideboard, to the left."

"On the left."

"Yes."

"As one looks at it, sir?"

[Orrex]

4. What did you call me?

Them's fightin' words!

[madinmaryland]

5. Dude. My mom told me teh brazilian story, that Gen. Westmoreland had said to LBJ.

I was very upset.

[Orrex]

6. Good to hear from you

I thought that you were angry with me, after what I told you to do with your horse.

[MilesColtrane]

7. She was obviously programmed to answer incorrectly so that she wouldn't...

...raise suspicion in the young meatbags she was raising as her own.

[Orrex]

8. Doh! A robomom, right in my own home!

How could I have lived under this deception for so many years.

[MilesColtrane]

9. Don't feel so bad.

It took me years to find out.

I never questioned why my Mom's meatloaf always had the vague taste of Pennzoil 40 weight.

[tigereye]

10. that's funny, Orrex

I get questions from my son that seem to come from somewhat unpalateable things he's seen on the internet, despite having all the requisite blocking software....


:eyes: