Swearing with children - your thoughts?

[Taverner]

???

[mcctatas]

1. with them or at them?

I guess I am kind of lax, I let the older ones swear without killing them, but since it's never been a big deal, they don't do it very often...

[Forkboy]

2. How old are we talking about?

If the kid is in High School I wouldn't worry about it. I know plenty of parents who swear, and they let their kids do it...at home...as well. Most of them know that you can't tell a child to "do as I say, not as I do".

Now, swearing at the kids is a whole different story.

[Taverner]

3. Not at - but with

And say....5 and 2?

[mcctatas]

4. 5 and 2?

oh, I don't know about that if for no other reason that they have a hard time differentiating when it is OK and when it is not (school, church, the in-laws etc)

[Forkboy]

7. No...way too young, imo.

[AlCzervik]

9. no.

[SidneyCarton]

26. Yeah, 5 and 2 is too young.

[LaraMN]

5. Probably not the best idea,

but I am totally guilty of being a potty mouth.
Sometimes nothing but the profane offers the requisite degree of catharsis demanded of a situation. I figure there are worse flaws to exhibit, but I TRY to reign myself in.

[SeattleGirl]

6. 5 and 2 are too young to hear parents swearing.

At that age, they are likely to think those words are okay, because mom and dad say them.

[DarkTirade]

8. Yeah, I'm gonna be a horrible parent in that respect.

:P

[PeaceNikki]

10. Fuck 'em if they can't handle it.

:P

[ogneopasno]

11. I swore in front of my kids at that age.

"Shit," "damn," "sonofabitch," and "Jesus Christ" being the ones I used. When they (inevitably) came out of their mouths, I told them that there are some words grown-ups use that kids don't, and then I toned it down in front of them. They're now 9 and 5, and neither one of them swears, even though I will let one fly once in awhile when I'm really worked up. It depends on the kid. As I say, they accepted that there are things grown-ups do that kids don't: drive a car, push the grocery cart, answer the phone, drink beer and coffee, use certain words, use a razor, etc.

And you can't freak out when they swear, especially if you do.

[undeterred]

12. I remember babysitting when I was a teenager

for a child who was barely out of diapers who used language that shocked me. He was an only child, maybe 3, and couldn't possibly know what he was saying. (God Damn it! Fuck this shit!)

I was only about 16 or 17 and if I used expressions like that to express frustration I would have gotten in big trouble with my parents!

But what could I do? Tell his parents? Clearly that's where he learned it!

[skygazer]

13. You mean like in harmony?

"All together now, 'Fuck this shit!'"

Or do you mean swearing in front of children? I personally was very careful of my language when my kids were small. Once they hit about middle school, I was less careful on the theory that they were old enough to realize that some things are appropriate in some places and not in others. And we talked about it.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. You do not want to hear the story I could tell you hear about MrG, a 2 year old

BabyG and the DMV.

[Connonym]

15. They're going to hear it eventually might as well learn from the best

I swear like a sailor. Surprisingly they haven't grown horns or been to juvie so I guess they'll be fine.

[Danger Mouse]

16. I was watching the debate with my 11-year-old sister last night.

Periodically, McCain would be an asshole and I would grumble, 'Fuck you, McCain.' Then I'd apologize to my sister for cursing.
'That's okay!' she'd say brightly.
She's not fond of McCain.
:D

[KitchenWitch]

17. I really try to curtail it around my 7 year old.

But she has heard me drop a few. I also have talked very frankly with her regarding cussing, and she understands that it is NOT everyday language.

[MilesColtrane]

18. You've got to rein those little fuckers in.

Tell them if they want to swear, they've got to run away and join the Army or a traveling carnival.

[Orsino]

19. Well, we should teach children when and how *not* to swear.

As long as we give them the tools to forge polite social relationships, I'm of a mind to let 'em go crazy in other situations.

[MrsMatt]

20. Bad idea

20 years ago I babysat for a neighbor's kid - he was three and called me a "smelly cunt". He also used "motherfuckers" a lot.

His dad was a number one ass - didn't surprise me when his wife left him.

[oregonjen]

21. I'm a preschool teacher/aide and I hear it out of their mouths

There was a child a couple of years ago that would swear like a sailor and the other parents had a hard time with that. Children that young mimic their parents and they really don't understand that that kind of language is not okay at school.

We now have a couple of young boys that watch violent tv and have older brothers that bring violent behavior to school. It's a hard battle to stop that behavior at school because they are so young. The other children in the class are negatively affected by this and some of the quiet ones are intimidated by it.

I try not to swear at home and for the longest time, "stupid" was a word that was not acceptable for my children to use.

[tigereye]

22. try not to do it, but my son loves to hear bad words( like most preteens)

he hates when my husband changes swear words to more acceptable forms when we read.... We tell him not to say any of em, and we occasionally have to use the swear jar.... I usually say that those words offend a lot of people, and simply aren't appropriate to use most of the time.



OTOH I have a friend who doesn't care if her kids swear - she's a progressive and nurturing mom, and her kids are great, but she just doesn't worry about it.

[kick-ass-bob]

23. My seven year old knows she shouldn't say them.

I think any younger than that, and you are treading on not-so-good ground.

2?
Hell no. They'll just start chanting 'shit shit shit shit shit' while you drive down the street :P

[av8rdave]

24. My kids spent a lot of time around my ex's cousins when they were young

So they gained some "linguistic skills" that I had to explain weren't the best.

One day, my son (about 4 at the time) was playing with his 5 year old cousin. As they argued over something or another, my son told his cousin to "eat hot shit."

Before I could intervene, the cousin quickly replied with, "You can't say eat hot shit. There's eat shit, there's eat shit and die, there's no shit, there's you're shitting me..."

I finally managed to interrupt the conversation. I have to admit, it was pretty funny. That kid knew a lot for a 5 year old!

[SidneyCarton]

25. My mother inadvertently taught me how to curse...

They were rarely directed at me, but nonetheless, I heard them. Mrs. Carton hates when I let one slip in Baby Carton's earshot. I don't blame her. Cursing is a dreadfully easy habit to enter, and beastly difficult to break. When it is directed at the child it is unacceptable. Anyhoo, I have cursed with my child in the room, I'm not proud of it, and I try not to, but I have, and probably will in the future.

[jobycom]

27. I encourage it.

Teach them to demystify language. I hate societal constraints, anyway. First you tell them not to curse, then they think they aren't allowed to wear their hair how they like it, and soon they are carrying homophobic signs at Sarah Palin rallies. Break the cycle, teach them to curse!

I don't go out of my way to teach them to swear, of course, but I don't make a big deal about it, except to tell them not to curse in front of anyone but us. It's a conscious plan--as with most things, I think kids and teens need to experiment to understand things, and I'd rather them experiment around me. Cuts down on their need for rebellion. So I curse in front of them at times, and teach them manners and respect for others, and try to combine the two concepts, so that they understand that words are not the problem, disrespect for others is.

So far, from all reports--teachers, friends, and friends' parents--they do better than average with that message. Neither has even gotten in trouble for cursing, although my nine year old daughter two days ago clobbered her neighbor's eight year old son across the forehead with a stick. But at least she didn't curse at him.

[hedgehog]

28. My kids still chuckle because their uncle expressed his opinion of other drivers

in, shall we say, very colorful ways when he drove them when they were little. When he had kids of his own, he kept his opinions to himself!

[SmokingJacket]

29. My husband swears around our kids, but my kids NEVER swear.

In fact, they make us apologize for swearing, so I have totally broken the habit.

Today I stubbed my toe, HARD, and hopped around saying, Oh EFF, EFF, EFF!

They're 8 and 11.

[tigereye]

31. my son says, Mom, you shouldn't swear...

I mostly swear in the car occasionally and when something breaks or I burn the toast!

[RFKHumphreyObama]

30. My parents were strict disciplinarians when it came to swearing

They usually explained what the swear word meant but we were expressly prohibited from using it. My dad very occasionally swore at drivers but he strongly moderated his language around us kids

[thesoftparade]

32. I am against it 100%

There is too much vulgarity in society today. Parents are supposed to be the ones who model the kind of behavior children will emulate. I swear, so I am not going to claim total purity, but I also am aware of my surroundings. When I am in public, it sometimes is so lower-consciousness out there. "Mofo this and that" by teens and even younger kids in front of seniors, toddlers...No shame whatsoever. No awareness of the impact it makes, the foul atmosphere it creates...

Children are innocent. I remember as a child hearing my dad swear and I would call it to his attention. Children do this because they know what is appropriate. I wish adults today weren't so afraid to be parents instead of their kids' buds.