I'm so annoyed at my best friend for taking up smoking...

[Reverend_Smitty]

My friend is having a tough time at work and there has been tons of drama going on there that quite frankly sucks for her big time. But and it's a big but, she's only going to be there 6 more weeks and when she leaves, she'll have completed her MBA and she'll also have her degree in athletic training. So that leaves her a wide open career path choice to stay in athletics or move into business...yet she feels too boxed in.

So anyway to combat the stress of work (and I don't deny that she has hit a bit of a rough patch) she suddenly decided to take up smoking. It was completely out of the blue, nearly 24 years old and has never smoked before in her life just decided 2 weeks ago to take it up...WTF?

I'm super annoyed at her and she knows better. Now she's telling me that she'll give it up in 6 weeks when we both know that by then she'll be completely hooked. I told her I'd honestly rather have heard that she had taken up smoking weed rather than cigs...which is odd on my part because I've never done either but it's just how I feel.

She's a grown-ass woman and can do what she pleases but that doesn't stop me from venting my frustration and disappointment in my friend. Grrrrr!

[alphafemale]

1. People starting to smoke once they have any sense IS pretty rare.

That's why all the focus on cigarette companies getting kids to smoke.

[Reverend_Smitty]

3. I was reading some statistics...

and sending them to her when she doubted my assertion that nobody at her age and education level starts smoking out of the blue. That 90% of smokers begin before age 21 and only 7% of those with a graduate level education smoke...so statistically speaking, she may be the only one lol

[AngryAmish]

16. I started smoking at age 27 (and have an advanced degree)

I'm stupid. Only excuse.

[huskerlaw]

2. Wow.

Especially odd considering the degree in athletic training. She certainly SHOULD know better!

Alas, she is an adult and there's not much you can do about it. Although constantly referring to her "cancer stick" wouldn't hurt. ;)

[Reverend_Smitty]

4. lol true...

every now and then we would get an athlete come into the room after taking a smoke break (and it's pretty rare) but we would give them holy hell if we smelled smoke on them. I'm just waiting for the day when one of her athletes turn the tables on her. She claims that no one can smell it on her because no one has said anything to her...that doesn't mean people haven't noticed, it just means nobody has called her out on it...yet

[LeftyFingerPop]

5. Perhaps there...

may be something else going on with her besides the work stress that is causing this out of character behavior?

Just a thought...

[Reverend_Smitty]

7. She is by nature a normally neurotic person

so I'm not really surprised that she has taken to some sort of mood altering device...I get daily recaps of her day on the phone or when she stops by my house. I'm kind of like a confessional booth, she tells me everything.

I think that it is really more or less a fear of going out into the real world. Leaving grad school and the comfort of home this summer/fall may be at the root of it, and of course the work stress doesn't help.

I've brought up the possibility of her talking to someone who has more professional experience in dealing with problems than me but she doesn't want to do it

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. You are a good friend to be concerned.

I don't know what the answer is...

Sometimes these things run deeper than they appear on the surface...

It is a shame really, because if she can stop now, she has a good chance of never starting again.

Best of luck to her, and to you also.

[Reverend_Smitty]

13. Thanks...

I'll just continue to listen to her problems and help the best I can. Hopefully it will get better for her when she is done with this job

[cynatnite]

6. Cigarette smell stinks...

That's what I'd tell her. I didn't realize how bad it was until after I quit.

[MissMillie]

8. the irony is

that the oxygen deprivation experienced w/ smoking is detrimental to dealing with stress--not beneficial.

[Reverend_Smitty]

10. quite true

and she's just going to give herself more stress when she tries to quit and is unable to

[Tyrone Slothrop]

11. In my experience, it takes MUCH longer than 6 weeks to get hooked on cigs n/t

[Bake]

12. If, by age 24, I hadn't already been hooked for several years,

I'd have never started, and I'd be tickled pink today. Tell your friend that. In six weeks, it'll be too late. She might as well say, "I'm only going to do cocaine for six weeks." It's that addictive.

And EXPENSIVE! Over three bucks a pack here in MS; pack a day, every day, some days more ... you can do the math.

Me, I'm going to feed the monkey on my back. Be back later.

Bake

[Reverend_Smitty]

14. We live in NJ so it's more like $6-7 a pack

that's a crazy amount of money to waste!

[Bake]

15. Yeah, that's WHACKED!

At $6 - $7 a pack!! That'd be enough to drive me to quit ...

Bake

[RadiationTherapy]

17. Life is complicated; some people smoke.

I hope it does her well!

[lizerdbits]

18. Unusual to start at that age

I started at 14 and quit last July. I worked with a guy who started at 27 but that's because he decided to stop taking his anti anxiety meds since he felt so much better. So he just substituted the smokes for the rx once he went downhill. :(

[azmouse]

19. My brother started smoking at about that age

after meeting the woman who would become his wife. She smoked so he started too.

He died last November at the age of 51 of a massive heart attack. I wish he hadn't started smoking.

[applegrove]

20. The Quitnet.com is the place to go to get support with a quit online.

[ileus]

21. WTF? Adults don't start smoking, how stupid is that...

[Manifestor_of_Light]

22. I would have to cut off all visits with this person, permanently.

I have had to cut off friendships with smokers, because i got sick around them and couldn't afford the doctor visit and the lung infection, ESPECIALLY because it was totally preventable.

[asteroid2003QQ47]

23. Quit and be damned

the damage lingers. A dear friend who stopped smoking decades ago recently had two mailgnant tumors removed from her bladder (she couldn't pee!).
The doctor told her that smoking permanently altered the structure of her bladder making her prone to cancer!

It sounds like she is self medicating for a temporary problem and anything you do to increase her stress level might make matters worse. Were her friend I'd try to listen and be uncritical (I might sometimes fail as I have never smoked and detest smoking) but I'd do my best.
Good luck.