An Irish joke;

[Itchinjim]

One day Mrs. Flanagan feels sickly and goes to the doctor for a look
at. The doctor looks her over and says, "Well now, Mrs. Flanagan. I'm
a perplexed on your condition but if you bring a urine specimen to me in
the morning I can tell exactly what's wrong."
Mrs. Flanagan went home and said to her husband, "The doctor wants me to
bring him a urine specimen in the morning. I don't know what a urine
specimen is, what am I to do?"

Mr. Flanagan replied, "I don't know, but if you go see Mrs. O'Toole,
she'll know what to do."

Mrs. Flanagan then went down the road to Mrs. O'Toole's and returned a
few minutes later with her clothes torn, a black eye, bruises all over
her body, and her hair tangled like a bird nest.

A shocked Mr. Flanagan gasped, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, woman! What
happened to ye?"

"I went to see Mrs. O'Toole and asked her what a urine specimen is and
she said 'Piss in a bottle, woman.' So, I said 'Go shit in yer hat !'
And the fight was on."