Would You Date An HIV+ Person?

[querelle]

I am right now and have never been happier. We play safe and the sex is phenomenal...............

Q

[Critters2]

1. I probably would. nt

[ThomCat]

2. I did.

He was a good man. He passed away about a decade ago. :(

[querelle]

3. Thank you........

you are a good man.............

[DS1]

4. I'd honestly have to think about it a lot

As much as I'd hate to have to not date a girl I liked for that single reason, I'd really have to think about it. It's not a black/white question.

[lost-in-nj]

5. As long as we both

practiced safe sex....

my brother was hiv +
his so ...+
the so's so +
safe is the key word

happy for you





:hug:


lost

[AngryAmish]

6. My wife gets mad when I date anybody

[KitchenWitch]

13. Funny, my husband reacts in quite the same manner whenever I am dating.

[AngryAmish]

14. Some people are soooooo uptight

whatever...

[Tektonik]

7. If we dated and I liked the person a lot

I think I would stay with the person, but if I knew it beforehand I believe I would not let myself get attached.

[flvegan]

8. Yes I would.

From all that I've read/heard, you can safely do this. Just takes some responsibility.

It's just "first date" every night.

On the unselfish side, maybe I deliver a message to the folks that are afraid of anyone that's HIV+. Maybe I bring some enjoyment, happiness and stability to a person that has (perhaps) little of those three aforementioned things in their life, while also having a ton of enjoyment in my life because of how we feel together.

Glad you're living the high life, querelle. My best to you both.

[SPKrazy]

9. I would...

safe

careful

but I would if I found that person attractive and datable to me..

Glad you are having phenomenal sex.... someone has to :hi:

[LeftyMom]

10. Probably not. I'm a parent, I can't take risks with my health.

I was terrified when I found out my ex had cheated on me, while I waited for the results to come back. I don't think I could put myself in that position on purpose. I feel a bit shitty for saying that, but honestly I don't think I could take on that degree of risk.

[donheld]

11. Without hesitation

[CorpGovActivist]

12. Absolutely.

My partner and I are good friends with another couple in the area. One is an infectious diseases doc, and we do a lot of HIV/AIDS volunteer work with him. See mixed-status couples all the time.

A good resource for managing the special "what ifs" and emotional concerns of mixed-status couples (or "magnetic couples") can be found at TheBody.com.

Also, the doc friend routinely tells people that with all the new classes of meds coming down the pipeline, that even very difficult-to-treat cases are seeing remarkable turnarounds. He has high hopes for a cure within the next 5-10 years, with a steady stream of new meds and new classes of meds to keep those living with HIV and managing it around and healthy to see the happy day.

:toast: <----- to that happy day, and to the happy ones you're having now

- Dave

[Donk Yore]

15. of course

being safe is the key

[racaulk]

16. My partner is HIV+

It's really not that big of a deal for me, it just requires that we be extra careful all the time. But, those are precautions that I would want to take with any sexual partner, so safe sex becomes a nonissue. It is what it is.

I'm truly, absolutely madly in love with this guy, so it's not something I spend too much time dwelling on. :hi:

[SacredCow]

17. Sore subject with me right now....

I have been with someone for the past 2+ years whom I just found out is HIV+. That's not to say he knew and didn't tell me- rather that he assumed he wasn't until I insisted he get tested.

Knowing what I know, yeah- I'd certainly date someone with HIV as long as they were honest and up-front about it. In my particular case, I'm honestly VERY angry about the risks he took with my health and his own.

[racaulk]

18. ((((SacredCow))))

I've seen your posts on this subject. I'm wishing for nothing but the best for you. :hug:

[SacredCow]

19. Thanks-

I've got all kinds of guilt over being so mad at him right now. I know he's upset, and I'm trying to be supportive but at times I just want to pack my stuff and bid him farewell....

[CorpGovActivist]

29. See #12 upthread.

Some of the stories of "magnetic couples" there, as well as the professional advice offered in the forum, might help.

:hug:

- Dave

[SacredCow]

30. Thanks for that link- I will check it out when I have a moment...

For the record, it's not really the fear of HIV that makes me want to jump ship. There was a LOT of deception on his part that led us to this place, so this is kind of the culmination of the turmoil.

I'm not saying I'd bid him farewell and never speak to him again. Things between us were more or less on hold anyway with the cheating, etc... but I was still living with him and we were discussing the possibility of another try.

So, in essence, this just re-opened some old wounds.

[CorpGovActivist]

31. Yup, in our volunteer work with my doc friend...

... we hear and see a LOT of that exact dynamic. You'll see stories of that sort in the message board for "mixed-status" or "magnetic" couples, too.

Some are able to use this as a life-changing, and relationship-changing catalyst, and grow stronger than either ever thought possible.

For others, it's the final straw.

Either way, I hope having a resource to look at where you can see others' experiences reflected in your own - and where you can safely ask a licensed expert for advice - is of help to you.

:hug:

- Dave

[WritingIsMyReligion]

20. It might make me a horrible person, but I would be very wary of doing so.

I feel badly about it all, but I am not a person who likes to take any risks whatsoever with my health, particularly with something for which there is no cure, something that would slowly kill me. Of course there are ways to play it very safe, but I would always be afraid that one day they would fall through--no prevention is 100%--and then, oh fuck, I would be so frightened.

:(

[supernova]

21. I'd have to think about it

I already have chronic issues that I deal with and that demand a lot of my energy. The spectre of adding more would cause me to be very cautious. I don't blame anyone for being ill; but I do have to think how it would impact me and whether or not I would be able to deal with it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. wrong place

[La Lioness Priyanka]

23. yes i would.

[xchrom]

24. kick

[Anarcho-Socialist]

25. Yes

I wouldn't turn away the love of my life over something like HIV+, safe sex doesn't deter me.

[One_Life_To_Give]

26. Depends what I wanted from the relationship

If I was looking for a woman to have lots of kids with. Then I would probably avoid an HIV+ person as a potential spouse.

However if I wanted someone to be a couple with and no additional family, sure.

[Deep13]

27. Frankly, no.

First, I would not risk it when there are plenty of women without HIV. Second, I would not want to go through the anguish of watching her get sick and die if she developed AIDS.

[MrCoffee]

28. I wouldn't

MrsCoffee would beat my ass with a hammer if I dated anyone, regardless of HIV antibody status.

[Ariana Celeste]

32. depends on the person

and if they are honest about it from the beginning or the moment they find out