Movies that the critics liked but you thought sucked

[EstimatedProphet]

Mine: Hong Kong Shuffle (2005). The critics raved. Seriously. I had to wonder whether they had taken hallucinogens before they started raving. The 'humor' they talked about was the worst of juvenile. I might have laughed it I had seen it when I was 9 years old.

[mr blur]

1. Dead Poets' Society (1989)

The worst kind of clichéd drivel with an embarrassing performance from Robins Williams and filming-by-numbers from Peter Weir. Just appalling.

[devilgrrl]

32. THANK YOU!!!!!

I thought it was total crap too.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

66. Ebert actually hated it

I was pretty much on the fence about it.

[devilgrrl]

94. Ebert's review...

Dead Poets Society

BY ROGER EBERT / June 9, 1989

"Dead Poets Society" is a collection of pious platitudes masquerading as a courageous stand in favor of something: doing your own thing, I think. It's about an inspirational, unconventional English teacher and his students at "the best prep school in America" and how he challenges them to question conventional views by such techniques as standing on their desks. It is, of course, inevitable that the brilliant teacher will eventually be fired from the school, and when his students stood on their desks to protest his dismissal, I was so moved, I wanted to throw up.

more: http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19890609/REVIEWS/906090301/1023

[Droopy]

2. I didn't care much for Bad Lieutenant

It's been a long time since I've seen it, though. Might like it now.

[FloridaJudy]

3. The cook, the thief, his wife and her lover

The whole movie was just icky and mean-spirited: it seemed to revel in cruelty. Some of the sex scenes were steamy, but the rest of the movie was so revolting I wondered what the point was: just to see how much the audience could take before they walked out? I did so a little over half way through. My friends assured me that it did indeed get worse.

[mentalsolstice]

13. I stayed through to the end

It was either that or go home and resume studying for the bar exam. Trust me, it got worse, much worse.

[FloridaJudy]

15. Yup. Helen Mirren won that Oscar years ago

Having sex on a bed of maggot-ridden meat. That's dedication. That's also when my gag reflex kicked in, and I fled.

[lost-in-nj]

4. The Notebook

I was told if I didn't cry I didn't have a soul.....

guess what???

:shrug: :shrug:

didn't cry and I'm still here,soul and all


lost

[TZ]

5. Cider House Rules

One word: Boring!!

[TheProphetess]

6. I'm with you on that one

I just didn't get what everyone raved about. :shrug:

[Droopy]

7. I haven't seen you around in a while

How are you liking western Indiana? Probably a big change from the Cleveland area.

[TheProphetess]

10. Hi Droopy!

Yeah, I'm on and off (of DU) quite a bit during the day. My mom is visiting right now so I'm not online as much as I would be if I were here alone. Once EP gets home, though, it's almost impossible to get near the computer. :)

Western Indiana is ok. It's not terribly different from NE Ohio, but there's not a lot of diversity here (big surprise). We are here for EP's job and when that ends we'll be off to somewhere else. Since we've been here, I haven't had a job but I just got hired to start one on September 4th at the same place EP works. It pays well but the drawback is that it's shift work, so he and I won't be on the same schedule. We'll see how it goes.

How are you?

[Droopy]

12. I'm doing well

I moved too, but just in the same area where I've always lived. I got a new job that pays a lot better so things are going well in that area. I'm currently trying to lose weight. Had some bad news when I went for a physical recently. Had to stop drinking carbonated beverages, lose some weight, and quit smoking. I'm doing alright on my diet and I've dropped a few pounds and now I drink water exclusively, but I haven't attempted to quit smoking yet. That one's going to be the hardest.

[TheProphetess]

17. Those are some serious changes

Good luck to you. You seem like the kind of guy who, once you set your mind on something, you'll do it.

[fishwax]

25. i'll second that

totally overrated, imo.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

8. Game 6.

After hearing Ebert and Roeper constantly rave about it, I checked it out.

Piece of crap.

[dropkickpa]

9. Sideways

I wanted to like it, I really honestly did. I *like* everyone involved in the picture, from actors to director. But I just didn't like it. I was so disappointed.

[CGowen]

44. +1 n/t

[bleedingheart]

57. the film's lead actors repulsed me...

one guy a complete pig who wanted to get laid before he got married and didn't give a shit if he hurt someone...

the other a simpleton who stole money from his own mother to entertain the pig ...oh but he was a wine snob so that made him okay...

I guess it was a good movie if its sole purpose was to make me hate the characters....but otherwise I agree...awful movie..

[barb162]

118. Except for one scene

I agree with you. The scene with the guy running naked into the street was very funny.

[begin_within]

76. Boring film.

[Skittles]

87. I thought it was OK but overrated

way, WAY overrated

[Zavulon]

126. +2 n/t

[AllegroRondo]

11. The English Patient

just die already!!!!

[begin_within]

77. I walked out of it after 1 hour.

A snooze fest.

[Vidar]

97. Unfortunately, I stayed. Felt like slitting my wrists by the time it

was done. A tremendous amount of artistry & talent was used to produce a loathsome movie

[raccoon]

99. You and me both. nt

[myrna minx]

132. UGH! That movie made me question my will to live.

Yay! Three hours of flashbacks! :sarcasm:

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

14. Crash

I felt like I was watching a made for TV movie, and a bad one at that. I found it heavy-handed and the subject matter and perspective seemed so played out.

[EstimatedProphet]

18. I was pretty neutral on Crash

I thought it was OK. Not great, but OK. Same with Brokeback Mountain. Feh. The big failure at the Oscars last year was that Good Night and Good Luck missed out on best picture. The Oscars do that a lot anymore - Beyond the Sea should have decimated everything else the year before, and was ignored entirely.

[RebelOne]

19. Crash depressed the hell out of me. I did not like that movie. n/t

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

20. I thought Brokeback was okay...

I found the last 20 minutes really moving though. I had to wait before leaving the theatre because I was weaping....and I was on a date! :blush:

[EstimatedProphet]

21. I say what I did becuse I think they could have done far more with the story

the last 20 minutes really was very moving, I agree. however, I think they really could have made more of a statement about how society forces homosexuals into a specific mold, regardless of whether that is what they want.

[Name removed]

33. Deleted sub-thread

Sub-thread removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[Ediacara]

24. I agree completely

Some large ensemble cast movies work and some don't. Crash didn't. It was poorly written, for the most part poorly acted, and rehashed themes that would have been old-hat in the late '70s.

[Richard Steele]

63. Yep. "Crash" was a steaming, heavyhanded pile of After-School-Special cliches posing as a "Film".

Two hours of my life I'll never be suitably compensated for wasting.

[cynatnite]

134. I thought it was contrived crap n/t

[skygazer]

16. Chariots of Fire

I also agree with Dead Poet's Society - pukeworthy.

[JanMichael]

22. Noises Off.

It sucked.

[begin_within]

74. The play is pretty funny in person though!

It does require expert timing and highly skilled actors to pull it off.

[Ediacara]

23. Pan's Labyrinth

Predictable plot, juvenile degrees of foreshadowing, and excessive and purely gratuitous amounts of gore. At the end every character died and I didn't care.

[terrya]

48. I second that.

Visually, it's quite impressive.

But visually can only get you so far. The rest of the film was crap.

[jgraz]

55. third, fourth and fifthed

pee-yuke. :puke:

[JanMichael]

88. Agreed. It started great then fell apart.

The ending sucked.

[Ediacara]

89. The movie and I parted ways early on

When Vidal smashes a bottle in the face of the farmer. I understand the scene was used to show that Vidal is brutal, but the close-ups of the farmer's face after he's hit again and again and again....

[JanMichael]

110. Ouch! I forgot about that scene.

And since I would have been on the Left side of that conflict i should have stopped watching then but I didn't.

[volstork]

26. Magnolia

Possibly the biggest load of horseshit I was ever stupid enough to sit through.

[Ediacara]

28. I disagree with you on this

I think this is an ensemble piece that works.

[volstork]

30. Maybe I just didn't get it...

[XemaSab]

36. I agree

I found it hard to sit through, and WTF was up with the frogs? :shrug:

[TheProphetess]

40. Seriously, frogs falling from the sky?

:wtf:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

41. The frogs are from Exodus 8:2.

"But if you refuse to let them go, behold, I will smite your whole territory with frogs."

Remember all the "8-2" configurations in the movie (the number on the airplane at the beginning, for example)?

[XemaSab]

54. So HOW did that tie into the rest of the film?

:shrug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

68. Basically, it was how all the characters needed to be "freed."

Also, P.T. Anderson was influenced by Charles Fort, whose writing featured falling frogs.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Fort

[Dukkha]

37. my choice too

I loved Boogie Nights but this was an unintelligible mess and more melodramatic than a mexican soap opera.

[HughBeaumont]

130. Yep.

Good idea, ruined to shit by Tommy Scientology's hamfisted, scenery-chewing "performance". Would have been a total distaster had it not been for Bill Macy and John C Reilly (coincidentally, the two actors who ruled in Boogie Nights).

[formerrepuke]

27. 'The Piano'...Holly Hunter doesn't speak and Harvey Keitel does full-frontal...Blecccch!

[bleedingheart]

59. and it moved at a slug's pace...

[annonymous]

98. I thought The Piano was crap too.

I stopped watching it after Harvey Keitel did the full frontal nude scene :puke:

[IndianaJones]

29. Syriana. Crash. nt.

[begin_within]

78. I was completely confused and bewildered by "Syriana"

therefore I was bored.

[Forkboy]

95. Loved Syriana...Crash was ok.

[SouthoftheBorderPaul]

101. I loved Syriana.

I really enjoyed the interweaving storylines, and the cause and effect relationship between seemingly unrelated events.

[MorningGlow]

31. Moulin Rouge

"Innovative" my ass. It was just a mess. Even Ewan McGregor didn't save it, and for me, that's saying something!

[volstork]

50. I agree with this one as well!

And also with your comments RE: Ewan. I could watch him do almost anything for 2 hours, but this was unbearable! The only thing I liked was the cinematography; the friend I saw it with didn't even like that-- said it looked like it was filmed by a mad chicken with a camera strapped to its head!

[MorningGlow]

107. Mad chicken! LOL!!!

:rofl: Like it!

I was pleased Ewan could sing; that was nice. :shrug:

[RubyDuby in GA]

105. Couldn't agree with you more!

This has to be one of the worst "films" of all time.
I want my 2 hours back!

[MorningGlow]

106. Ha! That's what I said!

I didn't see it at the theater but ended up hearing nothing but rave reviews, so I ordered it on Pay-Per View. The very minute it was over (well, after I sat on the couch for a few seconds going :wtf: ), I went downstairs where DH was on the 'puter. He looked up and said, "Well?" And I said, "I want those two hours of my life back." He tried desperately to refrain from saying "I told you so" (he doesn't like many films as a rule and if they're popular he runs away screaming) but I think he failed.

A former coworker of mine who otherwise has impeccable taste in entertainment tried several times to convince me it's actually brilliant. I never bought it.

[barb162]

117. Yep; just watching gave me a headache.

The camera zooming was pointless.

[MorningGlow]

123. I had bigger issues with the acting

The cinematography stank to high heaven, but it was the "wacky overacting" in the name of "comedy"--or whatever Luhrmann was attempting in Act I--that made me :puke:.

Plus, it irked me that the slapstick went the way of the dodo and was replaced by all the maudlin stuff till Nicole kicked it. PICK ONE, whydoncha. (Aside: if he was going to remake La Boheme, why not just say so? he never did.)

[barb162]

125. Totally agree.

I can't understand why any of the high-paid actors who can have their pick of roles agreed to do that garbage.

[Zavulon]

127. Agreed. This movie sucked beaucoup merde.

Even my musical-loving, French-speaking girlfriend apologized to me for it after she pressed me into seeing it with her.

[Love Bug]

34. As Good as it Gets

Yuk. x(

I found it to be another 'dysfunctional male saved by the love of a good woman' piece of drivel. Feh. I can't believe that flick got Oscars.

[TheProphetess]

39. Agreed

Yuck.

[Arugula Latte]

35. The Departed

Ten minutes into it, I wish they'd all get offed and end that thing already ... x(

[begin_within]

79. If they removed all the F-words, it would have been a 10-minute movie.

[underpants]

38. The Queen

I just watched it last week. The production values were well nonexistant. It looked like a step below a Lifetime movie. They completely missed taking advantage of the beautiful sweeping landscape. The performs were okay (she was good but I am not sure if it was really Oscar worthy) but the guy cast as Blair was distracting. And then...it just ended. The credits actually caught me by surprise.

Not at all what I had expected.

[jobycom]

42. I love DU's "WORST" lists! They are usually good recommendations!

:rofl: All you snobs are funny.

Oh yeah, and anyone who liked Lord of the Rings has no taste and is an idiot! :P

[EstimatedProphet]

47. Oh yeah? Well, anyone who has a Horton avatar is stupid! So there!

:P

However, feel free to watch Hong Kong Shuffle if you want...

[jobycom]

65. Ohhhh!!!

Where's the throwing-down-the-gauntlet smilie....

[EstimatedProphet]

69. If you find one, let me know - that sounds like a good one

[kwassa]

43. Match Point

that Woody Allen thing with Scarlet Johansson, and I like both.

Inane and predictable.

[Seashell Eyes]

45. Lost in Translation

I didn't get what the big fuss was about. It's boring and nothing happens, then.......................nothing happens. It also seemed like it was trying reallllly hard to be quirky.

[BlooInBloo]

52. Just like laughing at a joke you don't get, for fear of looking stupid.

[bleedingheart]

60. I completely agree....horrid movie

[XemaSab]

64. For sure...

It was like none of the characters had any charisma, to me. :shrug:

[Kutjara]

73. And the Japanese characters...

...were from the noble line of stereotypical screen Asians going back to Mickey Rooney in "Breakfast at Tiffany's" and Mr. Moto. All that changed was that Mickey's "Japanese" man substituted "r" for "l," (Horry Gorightry!) whereas Lost in Translation cunningly turned the stereotype on its head and substituted "l" for "r" (Lip My Stocking!). Genius. Not.

[Art_from_Ark]

91. For what it's worth

Caucasians portrayed on Japanese TV dramas are often one-dimensional paper cutouts

So I guess it evens out :shrug:

[Kutjara]

92. I'm not sure I agree that one bigotry equals another.

I lived in Japan for several years, so I know Westerners are often portrayed as lumbering clowns on TV. I think both portrayals are grossly insulting.

[Art_from_Ark]

93. I wasn't trying to be too serious

since this is the lounge :hi:

But I will agree it is rather annoying to see the old cardboard cutouts of Westerners playing bit parts on Japanese TV (has there been a multi-dimensional Western charater on Japanese TV since Rafcadio Hearn?). And it is equally annoying to see one-dimensional stereotypes of Japanese in American movies.

[begin_within]

75. So boring. At least it has good shots of Tokyo.

[last_texas_dem]

113. That's the first one that comes to mind for me as well

It's one movie where I didn't understand its rave reviews at all.

In the didn't-totally-suck-but-didn't-nearly-live-up-to-their-hype department I'd include Little Miss Sunshine, Sideways, The Squid and the Whale, and Pulp Fiction.

[jpgray]

114. Yes, yes, and yes. Ambiguity is not equivalent to intelligent writing.

[ok_cpu]

46. "Closer" n/t

[Seashell Eyes]

49. that movie is so boring, I forgot what happened

All I remember was that Natalie Portman was a stripper.

[BlooInBloo]

51. Being John Malkovich....

... Yes, I'm well-aware that I'm against literally EVERYBODY on this.

I wouldn't say it "sucked", I just thought it was boring. Very boring. Boringest execution of an interesting idea EVER. So maybe I do think it sucked. lol!

[skygazer]

53. I'm just happy to see that this thread resulted in a deleted sub-thread

The Lounge once again adhering to its proud traditions. :rofl:

[EstimatedProphet]

70. I am honored

[jgraz]

56. The Constant Gardener

[bleedingheart]

61. the book was much better than the movie..

[Fox Mulder]

58. The 40 Year Old Virgin

[jgraz]

62. Ratatouille

Stupid americanized frenchiness, childish action rather than focus on cuisine, and a story that's ridiculous even by cartoon rules.

Damn, I wish they had never let Brad Bird take over that movie. :grr:

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

67. The Usual Suspects

I've never understood why anyone thought it was so great.

[Zomby Woof]

83. It's vastly overrated

Right up there with "The Fight Club" in the last decade's Top 10 Overrated Films list.

[ElboRuum]

71. Titanic.

It did incredible box office, critics thought it was just fanfriggintastic.

I've never been able to sit through that snorefest.

[XemaSab]

72. Did anyone actually LIKE it?

Aside from my 13-yo cousin? :shrug:

[EstimatedProphet]

80. My 49 year old sister did

[u4ic]

81. Gosford Park

[barb162]

119. The sound editing was terrible.

[Beausoir]

128. You have to explain that to me.

No argument with it, but I've watched that movie several times. What is bad sound editing?

:hi:

[VenusRising]

82. Kill Bill.

*Flamesuit on*

:hide:

[Wetzelbill]

90. both of them, bloated ego fests

almost unwatchable. They have moments here and there, but overall very weak. I almost walked out of the first one.

[skygazer]

108. "bloated ego fests"

Exactly - movies that say nothing but "Look at me! I'm Quentin Tarantino! Ain't I COOL?"


Meh... not really...

[Deep13]

102. Liked the first one. The second was boring.

It went from kung fu to a disfunctional family discussion. All that was missing was Phil Donahue.

[Deep13]

103. wrong place

[EstimatedProphet]

109. Frankly I've never been a big fan of Tarantino

It seems to me like his movies are more parodies than actual storytelling.

And in the runup to the Kill Bill release, he was quoted as talking about how the Uma character was supposed to be in a coma, and how anyone would want to rape her while she was there! I was floored by what he was saying, because it was such a warped comment!

[barb162]

120. Utterly worthless film IMO

[HughBeaumont]

129. No flames here.

I though they BOTH sucked corpse scrotum.

I hate smug, "hipper-than-thou" bullshit like that.

[rurallib]

84. BLAIR WITCH PROJECT!!

God that was baaaaad

[hyphenate]

121. I'm in agreement with you

I got a severe headache and nausea from that piece of crap. I walked out completely pissed off after seeing it.

[Kat45]

85. "My Dinner with Andre"

Totally boring. And I went because of the great reviews. I was pissed. My mother was even more pissed and still reminds me of when we went to see it.

[Skittles]

86. Forrest Gump

f***ing drivel

[Vidar]

96. The English Patient. I'll also add The Matrix, though I have no

idea what the critical response was. I was very surprised that the creators of a movie so thoroughly despise also gave us V for Vendetta, one of my recent favorites.

[GirlinContempt]

100. Transformers. Moulin Rouge.

Although in both cases, there were some reviewers who realized how incredibly dreadful they were and said so.

[Deep13]

104. Gone with the Wind

There wasn't a single sympathetic character in the whole film. I rooted for Sherman.

[idgiehkt]

111. The one where Nicole Kidman plays Virginia Wolf

it seems like everyone raved about that one, it was so boring I couldn't even get through the first half an hour.

[Rodanthe]

112. American Beauty

But then again, I believe most Academy Award winners are nothing short of "The Emperor's New Clothes" - no one wants to admit that that movie SUCKED EGGS.

[Bennyboy]

115. Ordinary People.

never hated a movie as much I did this one.

[terryg11]

116. Brokeback mountain

I didn't think it sucked, but nothing great either

[hyphenate]

122. Unfortunately

I think one of the major problems with films nowadays is that very few producers make films just for "fun" anymore. I know that goes against every piece of business logic, but there was a time when the bottom line wasn't the only reason to make a film. If only films guaranteed to make a profit were made 30-40 years ago, we would never have had a lot of the classics many of us look back on. And that includes Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Diner, Easy Rider, etc.

As far as films I never cared about, I would count almost all of the Woody Allen films--I've never really been big on them, though I've seen many of them, I won't watch horror films/slash-em, hack-ems at all because I don't care for the genre at all, and I have a fairly long list of "hits" (like Titanic) which don't give me much pleasure at all.

I must say I was disappointed with M. Night Shamalyan's films The Village and Signs, though I thoroughly enjoyed Sixth Sense, and in my view, most "action" films are less "action" and more "let's see how much we can destroy and fuck up our budget bigtime." I've found lately, at least, that the best films are often those which are underrated in some way, because they are often more about a story, and less about their budget. "A Bridge to Terabithia" is a sweet little film, but they plugged it as a fantasy and it isn't.

I still enjoy "Hollywood" films, though, for some reason. A friend of mine runs an art (film) house with a lot of foreign films, and I'm not really a huge fan of them--if truth were told, I prefer television to film ultimately, anyhow.

[Lilith Velkor]

124. INLAND EMPIRE was total dogshit

It made Mullholland Drive look coherent.

Blech. :puke:

[RetroLounge]

131. Cabin Boy

I cannot believe this won best film of 1994, and that Chris Elliott won for best actor.

:hide:

RL

[amitten]

133. Babylon. And here at my local vid store, one of the employees

(they get to post their own reviews on the newest videos) put this review on the Babylon box:

"A overly-long, traumatic journey filled with pointless human suffering that will make you want to slit your wrists."

:rofl: Yeah, that's about what I thought, too.

Tear-jerker scenes repeated about 43 times in different guises do not a masterpiece make...