Interviewing Blows

[Jack_Dawson]

Q. So why'd you leave your last position?
A. Because my boss was psycho? Oh wait I can't say that, because that would fall under "disparaging my former employer"

Q. What would you say is a weakness you possess?
A. Containing the urge to strangle your useless HR self?

Q. Tell me about a time you had to "think outside the box"
A. Are you for real?

Q. It says here you were only at such-and-such job for 18 months. What was the problem?
A. I got laid off?

:beer:

[alarimer]

1. I think the advice usually is to turn your "weakness" into a positive

List a weakness that isn't really a weakness. I read that somewhere anyway but can't really come up with an example.

[Jack_Dawson]

2. Yeah I know...I'm a "perfectionist"

But that's tired. I think even HR people see through THAT shit nowadays...

Thanks tho.

[pagerbear]

3. I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts

....that in those places where they ask you about having thought "outside the box", if you get the job you will never, ever be allowed to do that. Ever.

Mmmmmmm.....doughtnuts......

:donut:

[EstimatedProphet]

4. Actually, I got that question for my job, or something very similar

And I am allowed to do that.

[The Straight Story]

5. I just got off the phone a bit ago (phone interview)

It went pretty well but I ended up asking more questions of them then they did of me :)

I love to turn the tables on them like that.

"So, what software are you using to track incidents?", "Has your company been in a hiring trend or downsizing the last two years?", "If I come to work for you, are there growth opportunities?" and so on :)

[Xipe Totec]

6. A downturn in the market

Loved my previous job, loved my boss, can't say enough good things about the company or my boss.

The market just tanked. These things happen; It's nobody's fault, but I'm ready to pick myself up, dust myself off and tackle greater challenges, using everything I learned in my previous job which was extensive and far reaching.

After the interview, you can go retch your guts out if you want to. But before and during the interview, stay always positive.

Good Luck!

[Jack_Dawson]

7. Downturn in the market!

I like that. It's true, too.

And yes, I feel like wretching all the time. Need to contain.

[Xipe Totec]

8. It worked for me

I was on the bench for nary a month before I got picked up again. Let me tell you, that's not easy to do at 50.

They key is to stay positive and forward looking on the outside, regardless of how you feel inside.

Keep a mirror nearby and check your smile every chance you get.

[matcom]

9. these are simple

Q. So why'd you leave your last position?
A. Because he was a fucking MORAN and I had to kill him. Nobody left to write the checks. Hey, I gotta EAT man!

Q. What would you say is a weakness you possess?
A. The voices in my head. They are weak by nature because they choose to speak to me. In my head.

Q. Tell me about a time you had to "think outside the box"
A. DS1 left me in the manbox alone. I was scared. I had to leave to drag his ass back in to tuck me in. Hey, it was cold out.

Q. It says here you were only at such-and-such job for 18 months. What was the problem?
A. 18 month was how long it took for the pills in the water cooler to take effect. Are you going to penalize me for poor pharmaceutical science?

[Jack_Dawson]

10. MORAN

always cracks me up. :beer:

[Deja Q]

11. I can't even interview for a blow job...

Q. So why'd you leave your last position?
A. Because my previous boss was a nutter and was trying to fire me anyway (despite my negative aspects, he still lost a good asset.)

Q. What would you say is a weakness you possess?
A. Forgetfulness; and lacking "common sense" to boot

Q. Tell me about a time you had to "think outside the box"
A. Define the box...

Q. It says here you were only at such-and-such job for 18 months. What was the problem?
A. Well, the supervisor was fired and the new guy was a complete dork who wanted to play touchy feely loosey goosey with me and I said 'no' and she was going to make my life miserable so I quit.*


* denotes a non-truth answer.

[Jack_Dawson]

12. Funny.

Hahahaha I needed that.

[HEyHEY]

13. Number three "At a gay bar"