My latest composition: "Talkin' Steroids"

[mac56]

(Apologies to Terry Cashman.)

Well, Sosa hit dingers
And pointed with his fingers
Up to heaven when he'd come to bat.
In nineteen ninety eight
He really pulled his weight
Then Big Mac hit seventy, so how 'bout that?!

We're talkin' steroids
Giambi, Caminiti
Talkin' steroids
The whole deal's kinda sh*tty
If they don't get their drugs, they just won't play
They scarf 'em down like candies off a tray
Especially Barry, McGwire, and Jose!

Well, Sammy was willing
And so was Curt Schilling
And pretty soon they couldn't get enough
An-dro-steen-DEE-own
And Human Growth Hormone
And McGwire was so scrawny, but he's now real buff!

We're talkin' steroids
Giambi, Caminiti
Talkin' steroids
The whole deal's kinda sh*tty
If they don't get their drugs, they just won't play
They scarf 'em down like candies off a tray
Especially Barry, McGwire, and Jose!

Well, chicks all dig the long ball
At least, that's what the television said
So they all started juicin'
But what do you suppose
After all the stuff that they drank -
Their testicles shrank!

Well now it's oh seven
And fans are in heaven
Heading to the ballpark for some fun.
But someone wrote a book
So Bonds is on the hook
And Raffy lied to senators down in Washington.

I'm talkin' steroids,
Like Rocket Roger Clemens
Talkin' steroids,
They all should go suck lemons
I only hope we'll sometime see the day
That Cooperstown will turn them all away
Along with Barry, McGwire, and Jose!
Barry, McGwire, and Jose! (Balco, Balco, Balco...)
It was Barry, McGwire, and Jose! (Balco, Balco, Balco...)
I'm talkin' Barry, McGwire, and Jose! (Balco, Balco, Balco...)
(fade out)