2 weeks ago another co-worker and I had set up a time for lunch...

[Deja Q]

She wrote it in her calendar.

Today she acted as if it never happened. :cry:

First another coworker ditches on me (which was a recurring pattern) and now this.

I dunno what I've said to hurt others, but as the same people seem to remain friendly with me, why does this keep happening?

[Left Is Write]

1. I don't know. Were you direct with her?

You could ask her, "Coworker, we set up a lunch date, and I saw you write it in your calendar. Did you put it on the wrong date?"

For your own peace of mind, I think you should talk to her about the forgotten lunch.

[Deja Q]

2. I darted around the issue; pretending she'd thought I didn't think of it...

I'm not a confrontational person.

I saw her write it in, that's what matters.

And she seemed very busy, so I opted to let it slide. (her desk was STACKED, so there probably was legitimacy...)

I could find a couple other viable excuses as well given the snowstorm and all this morning...

It's all good.

[Left Is Write]

3. If that was the case, I wish she'd just told you -

that she couldn't do lunch today because of work pressures.

I really like you, HT, and I don't like seeing you hurt over and over.

[Deja Q]

5. She did mention her workload...

but she did not tie it in to the date book or acknowledge she'd made the lunch date. (a friend thing, she's engaged...) That's what hurt.

Thank you for liking me. :hug:

Maybe I will ask her, but at this juncture it's probably moot. If I had half the sense, I would have said what I was thinking about our (purportedly) scheduled time. :)

And some of this is probably paranoia; given then umber of times another coworker and I set a time to go out and she ultimately says "unavoidable errands" or "something just came up", even I can fathom a pattern.

I am not going to have any bad feelings over any of these incidents, but I will wait for them to ask me next time. I'll work around their schedule, that way I won't set myself up for a let-down.

[City Lights]

4. Sometimes I write things on a calendar and still forget.

If my day is hectic, it's easy for me to space out and forget about an appointment even tho I wrote it down. :hug:

[Deja Q]

6. Excellent point.

I didn't see her date book open at that time and I don't know when she uses it... I will admit I could be wrongfully biased with this situation. Applesauce happens, I agree...

Again, I'm not thinking any bad feelings. And I could have communicated our previous arrangement, so I am not entirely innocent in all this. (I need to try to remember to more often remember other peoples' perspectives and learn to compensate...)

[MichiganVote]

7. You need to learn the 'test' Hyp...

The 'test' goes like this,

You ask someone to call you or even remind you of something, even something like a lunch and to call you at a specific time. If they don't call at that specific time, don't count on trusting them with your feelings unless they come up with a plausible reason for not calling you. And to be trustworthy, they must have and offer a plausible reason.

People like the person you had the lunch date with who do not offer to excuse themselves or to provide you with an explanation, don't deserve any more of your concern. Think highly enough of yourself to know, what they have not enjoyed, someone else will.