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Dictator Bush, a captain in the 82nd Airborne, and a Catholic chaplain were flying at 32,000 feet over Iraq on an inspection tour of the area when the plane quit running. Over the plane's intercom came this message: "This aircraft is going down. We only have two passenger parachutes, so one of you is going to have to give his life for his fellow man."
Dictator Bush grabbed a pack and threw it on quickly, screaming "I'm the most important man in the whole world." He pointed at the paratrooper and screamed "it's your job to die for your country." He pointed at the chaplain and screamed "you're in a false gutter religion and you're going to hell anyway." And he jumped out of the plane.
The priest told the paratrooper that he had lived a long time and knew he was going to Heaven, then asked him to take the remaining parachute.
The captain told the priest, "relax and get chuted up, chaplain. If that chickenhawk bastard had gone to Vietnam, he'd probably know the difference between a parachute and a rucksack."
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