Thank you all for your advice about my situation last night.

[terrya]

It never ceases to amaze me how many caring people there are at the DU. Thank you all for your input and advice.

I'm not telling Doug about what happened last night. He doesn't read the DU forum.

Not telling him may seem cowardly. But I think it's ultimately for the best.

My experience WILL help me become a better person. Life (should) be about growing, progressing. I think, emotionally, I did some growing up...and sobering up...today. I think it's time to say goodbye to alcohol, that's for sure. Realizing what's REALLY important in life (Doug). Last night was meaningless, stupid drunkeness. Nothing more.

I have a session next week with my therapist. I think that will be a good opportunity to talk about this incident.

I want to thank you, Bertha Venation and William Pitt, for your private comments.

That's enough of my personal drama here.

Thank you all.
Terry

[RC]

1. Good for you. You made the correct decision.

You were getting a lot of bad advice yesterday.
Hang in there.:grouphug:

[dolo amber]

2. I hope

things turn out well for you both. :)

And try, though it will be hard, to not be too down on yourself. You're human, you made a mistake. Keep in mind that doesn't make you a bad person, just a person who did a foolish thing. These things happen. :hug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

3. Good idea..drinking and therapy don't mix

It's hard to drink and have your awareness level raised about your thought process and the manner in which you approach and respond to life.
Good luck.

[Name removed]

4. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

6. I disagree. I don't believe in absolutes.

Let TerryA work it out. He will go with the flow and is going to get professional advice and coaching.

If his relationship does not work out, he will have professional support to deal with it.

All we know is what he told us..there's a lot more to it and he DOES have a conscience...I think he will do just fine in the long run so long as he confronts his own behavior.

[sexycool]

7. This is an easy one

He violated his trust. There is no gray area. He either violated it or he didn't. He did.

Don't try and invent some new kind of metaphysics. The one we have works fine.

You are doing him no favors looking for a way to get him "off the hook" so to speak. That kind of thinking got him where he is in this situation. More of it will make things worse.

[Bertha Venation]

9. advice from someone whose hobby is

men.

[nostamj]

5. i hope things work out

cheating (and LYING) destroyed my last LTR. (of course, in this case, I was the one cheated on and lied to)

for what it's worth, your post ended up inspiring a new lyric this afternoon. NOT that I suggest it has anything whatsoever to do with your specific situation... or that's is autobiographical.

just got me thinking about that POV. this is just a first draft I sent to my composing partner. I have no idea what the final structure will be. it will certainly be longer than this sketch.

I WENT ASTRAY

WHILE YOU WERE AWAY
I CONFESS TO
NOTHING LESS THAN
AN EPISODE OF
INFIDELITY...
I KNOW, I KNOW
IT’S NOT AT ALL LIKE ME,
THAT’S TRUE ENOUGH
BUT
WHILE YOU WERE AWAY
I WENT ASTRAY.

A CALL FROM YOU
OR IF YOU HAD BEEN THERE
WHEN I CALLED YOU...
WOULD I HAVE LET THE IMPULSE PASS?
A LACK OF SOBRIETY,
TOO MUCH ANXIETY,
OR WAS THE LACK OF OPPORTUNITY
THE ONLY THING STILL STOPPING ME?

THE DESIRE TO BE DESIRED
IS DIFFICULT TO DISMISS,
SO WHILE YOU WERE AWAY
I WENT ASTRAY.

[salin]

8. Alot more cerebrial than the song that came to mind

"I'm only Human..." (not sure if that is the title) by Human League - one of the campiest parts of a song (when they speak).ever.

[Booberdawg]

10. You have to decide this on your own

and I am glad you have taken the time to reflect upon the incident for yourself and made the decision you feel best for your situation, for now.

I an THRILLED to know you are actively involved with therapy and have a therapist to discuss this episode with.

There are no pat answers for matters of the heart. I am glad you have not taken a black or white, definitive position on this before exploring the issues involved with a therapist or within yourself.

I'm also glad you could bring this to DU. But a word of caution on DU, because I do see, unfortunately, that others that seek to advise you bring their own issues into the mix that do not necessarily pertain to your situation. You seem to be able to sort it out.

I wish you the best, my friend. :hi: