How do you help someone with depression?

[midnight armadillo]

Hypothetically (or, in reality, not so hypothetically :() speaking, if a loved one is almost certainly suffering from depression according to lists of symptoms, how would one go about helping them? I am speaking to their primary care doc tomorrow, which I guess is a good first step. Have any of you DUers been in such a situation before?

[Horse with no Name]

1. Ask them if they are depressed

and then seek to get them the help they need.
If they are willing, get them to take this test.
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?id=973&type=doc&cn=Depression%20(Unipolar)

[leftofthedial]

7. is 81 a bad score?

[bigwillq]

13. I scored an 11

You scored a total of 11.

You appear to be experiencing some very mild depressive symptoms, most of which are commonly found amongst the general population. It is unclear as to whether you suffer these problems severely enough to need to seek further diagnosis and treatment of them.



81 is a bad score.

54 and up Severely Depressed

You might want to talk to someone.
Good luck :hug:

[leftofthedial]

17. yeah, but no one wants to talk to me

:sigh:

[bigwillq]

18. I'm sure a doctor

will be willing to.

I'm sure that there are hotlines you can call. Ain't nothing wrong with that.

DUers are helpful.

My PM box is always open.

Take care.

:hug:

[leftofthedial]

20. thanks.

the black dog visits from time to time.

[Random_Australian]

21. My PM box is always there, lotd.

:)

And we have a mental health support group here on DU.

:)

[leftofthedial]

22. I write songs for a "living"

so 81 is probably a *good* thing!

LOL

thanks. I'm doing okay.

[taterguy]

2. Take them out and do something fun

Of course it depends on the exact situation. However, speaking as someone that suffers from depression that's what I would want. Let medical professionals do their job and you do what you can. If there's something they really like to do then go do it with them.

[crim son]

3. Speak with the PCP about the possibility, or at least

have the person agree to mention their symptoms to the doctor. Most physicians are extremely receptive and understanding when it comes to discussing possible depression, and most won't automatically prescribe meds or counseling until they understand the patient's particular situation. I wouldn't ignore it though. And if the person refuses to accept any help, the best thing you can do is be there and encourage them to express their feelings. Hugs work wonders in the short term. It's v. hard to deal with a depressed loved one. It's... what's the word? Depressing. I'm sorry you are in this situation.

[philosophie_en_rose]

4. Be available.

It's hard to get someone to seek help, but you can try to make a soft place for them to fall.

[pdx_prog]

5. My GF is bi-polar

She just came out of a very long and debilitating episode of depression. There really is nothing you can do but to let them know you are there for them. They can recognize their depression but in the majority of cases they are powerless to change their thinking even though they think they can.

Meds are the best option for severe depression. Counseling can help to a degree depending on how severe the depression is. It's hard to watch someone go through it.

[bicentennial_baby]

14. Wow, I'm with you on that...

Both: "There really is nothing you can do but to let them know you are there for them. They can recognize their depression but in the majority of cases they are powerless to change their thinking even though they think they can."

and "It's hard to watch someone go through it."

Word.... :hug:

My gf is BiPolar as well... :)

[Hell Hath No Fury]

6. Both my Mom and sister...

have suffered from depression in the past there years. Having been there myself, I recognized the symptoms. My first step was to talk to them about what they were experiencing and ask if they had been feeling certain things -- symptoms that can indicate depression but are less known to people. Once I got them talking about it, I brought up depression and asked them if they thought they might be suffering from it. Both my Mmm and my sister agreed that they were in a depression. My Mom was so mortified by the embarrassment, that I volunteered to go to the doctor with her and help her talk to him. My sister was able to go on her own.

The thing I tried most to do was normalize it for my sister and Mom, make it less embarrassing and threatening for them to talk about and admit. I talked about my own depression and all the crazy shit I was thinking and feeling, so they wouldn't feel so alone in their experience.

Once they got help, the biggest thing I did was check in with them on a regular basis about their depression and how they were feeling.

[Dangerously Amused]

8. Agreed.

People with depression often don't have the energy or motivation to seek the help they need on their own. Plus there is still an enormous stigma attached to any type of "mental illness."


Normalize it, and give them gentle nudges toward professional help. Great advice.

[seemunkee]

9. Been there

Its hard and I can understand if you feel helpless. Listen and be understanding. They don't want to be the way they are, they can't help it.
Don't be afraid if they have to go through several different med/therapy combinations to find the right one. My daughter is a completely different person from who she was a year ago, my wife is doing great also.

[Roon]

10. I am depressed

Well, not at the moment, since I am on meds. Just make it easy for him to go to the DR. Take him, hang out with him in the waiting room. Go with him to get his meds and assure him that it takes time for them to work and he needs to take them every day. And like I always hear, once you start meds, the people you surround yourself with will notice before you do. So encourage him when you see a difference.

[midnight armadillo]

11. So what do you do when...

...the opportunity presents itself to suggest the possibility of depression, and they are so offended at the suggestion that there could be "something wrong" with them that they then accuse you of trying to get them to divorce you? What a craparific evening. :cry:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

12. Then it shows that they're REALLY depressed

but don't want to believe it of themselves.

Are we talking about a man here? Some men have been taught that the only acceptable strong emotion for them is anger, so if they're hit by depression they get really, really grouchy, with a hair-trigger temper.

I've seen women react that way, too, but it's more likely in men.

[graywarrior]

15. 73

Guess I need help.

[Floogeldy]

16. A swift baseball bat to the knees gets attention and tends to re-focus.

However, I am not a doctor and do not advise it.

;)

[Kickin_Donkey]

19. First, understand that depression is an illness ...

and don't be judgmental. Let the person know that you're there for them. (It sounds like you're already doing this.)

The person in question may not realize they're depressed, or be in denial. I didn't know I'd been depressed for several years -- until I stumbled upon a list of systems and it hit me like a bullet that I was clinically depressed. Until then, I knew something was wrong but had no idea what. Thus, you should show the person a list of symptoms.

Once they realize they could be suffering from depression, encourage and/or help the person to see a doctor.

I repeat, don't be judgmental and let the person know you care. Understand that clinical depression isn't a mood that will pass or laziness or a "bad" personality or a character flaw -- you might even have to convince the person in question of that. The person's brain chemistry is messed up, and it needs to be brought back to normal.

BTDT