7 Kinds of Sex

[0007]

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens
when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have
been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you
will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have
been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine
and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have
been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in
the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex, which means you get
Nun
in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex: This is when you cannot stand
your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in
front of
everyone.

And last, but not least, the 7th kind of sex is called: Social
Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to
live on

[Haole Girl]

1. IBTL

:hi:

[ZombieNixon]

2. IBTL!

(Also copied for future use) :D

[Fox Mulder]

3. IBTL

Or not...

:rofl:, btw. :hi:

[bigwillq]

4. This is great!

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

5. Right now, I'll settle for #s 1 or 2!

IBTL!

[In_The_Wind]

6. Ain't that the truth! Oh BTW ~ IBTL

[LadyoftheRabbits]

7. IBTL!!!

:rofl: :thumbsup:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

8. IBTL.

:rofl:

[NNadir]

9. IBTL to the nth power.

Funny.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

10. IBTL!

[Writer]

11. Need we be so fucking puritanical???

Good God. This is wonderful stuff and I believe in no way raunchy. I vote NO LOCK!

[bigwillq]

12. I vote no lock too.

SO far so good.

It's just something the OP got off the net, probably through e-mail.

Yes, it's about sex but it's more of a joke than anything else.

Let it stay! :bounce:

[benny05]

30. Shouldn't be locked, it's funny!

:bounce:

[Deja Q]

13. It's 97% innocent

It's cool

[0007]

21. 97.5%

[rug]

15. Give me liberty or give me death!

[auntAgonist]

41. I don't think it should be locked but probably will

eventually :shrug:

aA
:hi:

[Writer]

42. They're sort of running behind schedule, aren't they?

;)

[petronius]

14. I think that between 3 and 4 comes the kind of sex

where you try to get your partner's attention and they constantly say "just a sec..."

[LynneSin]

16. Why would they lock this thread?

Seriously, not like there were actual pictures posted of these people having sexual intercourse. It's a funny joke

[liberaltrucker]

17. All you young dudes and dudetts, take note

Advice from an old fart who knows wereof he speaks.

:rofl:

NO LOCK! NO LOCK!

IBTL:)

[joneschick]

18. I've never.....oh hell! IBTL!

[Scooter24]

19. IBTL!!

:woohoo:

[AussieDave]

20. I really don't think there's a mod who is so completely without humor

as to lock this one. This is funny, people - nothing more, nothing less.

[benny05]

22. IBTL?

Acronymn definition pls? thanks.

[AussieDave]

25. In Before The Lock

If this thread is locked, it will be because it's deemed by a moderator to be a sex thread, which is a no-no.

[benny05]

26. Does this mean you think this is sorta funny?

??

[benny05]

27. Because I do n/t

[AussieDave]

28. I enjoyed it because I think it's funny

Not rip-roaring, pee-in-my-pants-I'm-laughing-so-hard funny, but it brought some giggles.

[Jamastiene]

31. In Before The Lock.

Means it may have violated some DU rules about talking about the nasty and will probably be locked. It's a sort of game where someone posts something funny but maybe a little sexual and we all try to get here to post before it gets locked. Or at least that is how I see it. :evilgrin:

[benny05]

32. Is that a Tuxedo Kitty I see in your pic? n/t

[Jamastiene]

35. You mean the one in the middle with the white chest? Or

the one on the left with the white chest? I'm not sure, but I have two of them with white chests. Yogi, the one in the middle, has more of what I would call a tuxedo look. Sunday Girl, the one on the left, has more white all over more like she was dipped in paint from the chest down in a way.

[benny05]

38. I Would Say Sunday Girl is what I meant

All pretties!

[planetlinnea]

23. Funny!

We need some humor in our lives. Please.

[0007]

37. ....and this is about life and how humans perform

[Jamastiene]

24. IBTL.

:rofl: I love it.

[peacefreak]

29. ibtl

;)

[meow2u3]

33. Printed a copy -- LOL

IBTL

[FILAM23]

34. Anybody knows when #4 starts,

been married for 30 years and we are at about 2.8
mainly bedroom but occassionaly else where

[Random_Australian]

36. In Before The Fucking Lock. You got some balls!

[flvegan]

39. Long live Kitchen Sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothin' like cookin' in the room it was meant for.

[auntAgonist]

40. IBTL whew.