Potheads, Homosexuals, Lesbians, Masons, Shriners, Damoncrats...

[Maddy McCall]

(Thanks, primate1, for this great screen cap! :yourock: )

[Deja Q]

1. Oy! What's to complain about?

"Rich people" are included! :woohoo:

Still, nobody's perfect...

[XemaSab]

2. I resemble that remark!

:grr:

[Hugin]

84. Eeek!

They're on to me!

[zbdent]

125. How could you not?

I mean, the only person left is (allegedly) the signholder . . . :rofl:

[Alleycat]

3. Hells going to be REALLY crowded

Who did he miss? How come only pot heads? Are the other druggies OK?

[Radical Activist]

4. Drunks and Mormons in the same pot...

along with the rich and potheads. Interesting.
I don't see KKK members and racists on the list. I'm guessing the sign holder thinks they're A OK.

[SeattleGirl]

5. What a whacko!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Maddy McCall]

6. Last night, girls were standing by him, flashing their boobs.

:D

[Oeditpus Rex]

8. Repent, evil uncloaked breasts!

Hell has a special brassiere for you!

:grr:

[SeattleGirl]

11. *giggle*

Wish I had seen that! :rofl:

[WCGreen]

7. I made the List... I made the List.....

[boilerbabe]

61. Which category are you? n/t

[TheBaldyMan]

63. WTF is a 'DAMONCRAT' ?

somebody who wants a government of people called Damon?

[meegbear]

69. Matt Damon fans?

:shrug:

[TimeChaser]

9. What, no Pagans?

:shrug:

[JVS]

56. Maybe he's a pagan

[nickinSTL]

77. not likely...

don't think I've EVER met such a hate-filled pagan.

[SOteric]

10. Gosh I hope so,

looks like most of my favourite sorts of people will be there too! :bounce:

[Alleycat]

16. Yea but you have to spend eternity with

the Jehovah Witnesses. That's not fair I have spent life on earth getting them off my front porch and now I have to see them again for all eternity! :)

[SOteric]

20. Not a problem.

I absolutely love the looks on their faces when I respond to them in flawless, unaccented Italian.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

103. Not to worry, AC! Look for me when you arrive...

MM I'll be at the Irish Kiss booth (thanks, Jake, Lady Sally & Spider!)...
MMI've got a time-tested Witness Banishing that's been certified in 3 states.
:evilgrin:
MMDISCLAIMER:
MMNo user of "Witness-B-Gon" may be held responsible, criminally or civilly, for any medical problems occurring in members of the Jehovah's Witness cult subsequent or consequent to, such use of this product, as long as such use is in accordance with the instructions.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

12. Who ISN'T going to hell?

:shrug:

[greekspeak]

120. As with most people like him, only he is not going to Hell

Of course, he has forgotten that crap about not judging people for fear of being judged oneself. Whoopsy!

[Strong Atheist]

121. ME! nt.

[Initech]

13. Rich people are going to hell?

:spray:

[boilerbabe]

62. They will have their own section, like 1st class n/t

[Initech]

90. So I guess its the same circle Bushco are going to, right?

[Misunderestimator]

14. Homosexuals AND lesbians... wow... how special is that?

At least it will be warm, and there should be some great parties. :party:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. and i'll be there....though apparantly i am no longer bi (since its a 90's

thing) but i think i qualify for hell....


:hi:


i think cos i am an adulteress (though do adulterers stay in heaven?)

[Misunderestimator]

18. I think I must have missed something.

90's thing? you'll have to fill me in on that little revelation. :D

:hi:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

22. apparantly bisexuality is dated

and umm thats all i have to say about this...check your pms though

[Misunderestimator]

26. well, holy crap...

I missed that whole thing :o

[anarch]

87. yeah, well I've dated some bisexuals

Does that make me a "90's guy"? Oh, well.

[liberalitch]

112. Ba-dum crash!

[ContraBass Black]

19. Wait, so what are you then,

if I may ask?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

21. i dunno

someone who dates men and women.

[ContraBass Black]

23. Is that either/or,

Or both at the same time?

[La Lioness Priyanka]

24. depends on circumstances

if i am single and not in a committed relationship...or if i am in an open relationship...or if i am trying to be monogamous....

the answer depends on the circumstance

[mongo]

93. not to mention hell will be tastefully decorated

[Initech]

98. Hell also has better taste in music.

To quote Bill Hicks - "If there is a hell, that's where all the good music's going. At least the devil fucking jams!!!"

[grace0418]

110. Conversely, adulteresses but NOT adulterers

are on the list.

[Fenris]

17. Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh MY!

[ghostsofgiants]

25. If it wasn't for Rock & Rollers and Evolutionists, I'd be in the clear.

Agnostics aren't on the list!

[Maddy McCall]

27. LOL

I think I would be, too. :hi:

Thanks for this screen cap!

Edit: Except I'm a Damoncrat and a Liberal. :D

[ghostsofgiants]

32. As soon as I saw it, I knew it was a keeper, haha.

[Misunderestimator]

28. You're not a liberal?

:D

[ghostsofgiants]

30. I don't identify as one, no. I consider myself more of a socialist.

[Misunderestimator]

31. Ah, well, I'm glad they covered you in the other two cats then!

:) :hug: Wouldn't want you to miss out on the big party!

[ghostsofgiants]

33. Well we all know Hell's gonna have the good music.

So I'm there no matter what.

[A Simple Game]

128. There is a Rock and Roll Heaven, I heard about it in a song.

They do have a Hell of a band though.

[Ellen Forradalom]

29. Party pooper

Get off Bourbon Street and laissez les bons temps rouler.

[In_The_Wind]

34. Yes, I'm mentioned on that list.

[Telly Savalas]

36. Shriner?

[In_The_Wind]

41. Not that I can remember.

You?

[Telly Savalas]

44. I'll plead the fifth on that one.

[deadparrot]

35. I'm driving the bus and serving margaritas.

So said my 12th grade religion teacher.

[Maddy McCall]

47. LOL!

Awesome! :rofl:

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

104. You must be my relief driver, then...

MM...the bishop assured me that I would be driving the bus!
MMI'll trade you a margarita for a fresh single-malt scotch!

[KitchenWitch]

37. I guess I am going to hell

Sounds like I will have great company!

[yellowdogmi]

39. I'll save you a seat

by the fire.....
:evilgrin:

[KitchenWitch]

42. Right on!

:evilgrin:

[Initech]

96. See ya there!

:evilgrin:

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

102. Look me up when you arrive, dear...

MM :evilgrin: I'll be the one manning (personing?) the Irish Kiss :donut: booth (thanks, Jake, Lady Sally & Spider!), sitting next to a big drum, handing out "Witness-B-Gon" kits and smiling a lot!
MM I'll rub your feet when you get there, KW!

[blondeatlast]

38. I remember when Hell was fashionable and exclusive...

Now they let anyone in!

[Maddy McCall]

48. Ain't that the truth! Even the Mormons!

:D

[misternormal]

40. Thank the Goddess...

Pagans aren't on that list.

[Maddy McCall]

49. Sad to say, I think in that guy's mind, you fit in the "Satanist" category

:rofl:

[misternormal]

101. Oh well...

...shows what he knows anyway.

[SmileyBoy]

43. I've seen more freaky shit on Bourbon Street.

I witnessed a murder, fer chrissakes.

[Maddy McCall]

50. Crap!

I stayed at the Inn on Bourbon...I saw homeless kids eating out of the garbage cans and drinking last swallows in beer bottles. One took a leak at the payphone right under our balcony.

But I didn't see any murders. :scared:

[SmileyBoy]

54. New Years Eve, 14 months ago.

I was at the scene no later than 60 seconds after it happened. I'm pretty sure it was gang-related.

[Blue_Tires]

45. wow...that's just about everyone on earth!

[Maddy McCall]

51. No, the "tree huggers" weren't included and are very angry...

about being snubbed. :(

[CatholicEdHead]

46. Who is really left?

[Maddy McCall]

52. See post 51.

:hi:

[HEyHEY]

53. What the fuck did the Masons do?

[Blue_Tires]

55. they secretly manipulate the stock market and legal system

common knowledge around here...

i mean; honestly---WHERE have you been all this time?!?!?:sarcasm:

[JVS]

57. How could you even ask such a question?

YOU MONSTER!

[Lautremont]

58. I'm on that list several times over.

Proud fornicator here, and an evolutionist pothead rock 'n' roller etc. etc. Not, as far as I can tell, a "Prosperity Preacher," however, nor rich.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

59. It looks like a good party in hell.

Now we just have to set up a seperate hell for Mormons and such.

[NMMNG]

60. Heaven is going to be very empty

But Hell is going to be one kicking place :headbang:, so long as those Jehovah's Witnesses don't come knocking on my door. :silly:

[Lethe]

64. pagans arent so judgemental

REPENT FROM YOUR SATANIC WAYS.....oh wait we dont believe in satan

[LostinVA]

118. giggle

[xchrom]

65. let's see i'm a damoncrat, rock and roller, adulterer, homosexual

liberal, fornicator{a liberal fornicator even} and a once saved always saved chistian.

do i get a prize for multiple categories?

[terrya]

66. Woo-hoo! I'm on there! I hate being left out!

Yay for the homosexuals!! :thumbsup:

[LostinVA]

119. And the lesbians!

[Heidi]

67. I don't see women in hip-huggers

with lower-back tattoos on the list. :shrug:

Edit to add link to extremely un-progressive thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=4790719&mesg_id=4790719

[Maddy McCall]

71. Well, you don't see "trollops" or "harlots" there, either.

Why continue this on this thread? You were doing just fine on the other one. :shrug:

[Heidi]

74. Maybe "trollops" and "harlots"

are a sub-group of "fornicators," which is on the list.:shrug:

[Maddy McCall]

76. Or "adultresses."

Who knows what crazy people think?

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

106. Trollops and harlots are the party favors...

MM... for the "I've been SAVED, Praise Jay-sus!" party...
MM... or, more likely, the door prizes for the lottery winners!

[JVS]

109. "I've been SAVED, Praise Jay-sus!" that kind of talk is condemned in...

the sign as well. When the sign refers to "Once-saved-always-saved" being in danger that refers to the mentality that would say "I've been saved".

[JVS]

108. What's the German name for those, Arschgeweih or something?

[Strong Atheist]

68. How aboutcha post this in R&T?

:popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn: :popcorn:

[Maddy McCall]

72. Have at it.

:D :bounce:

[Strong Atheist]

78. I'M not crazy! That is ........

someone else ....;)

[Strong Atheist]

116. Done! nt.

[LaraMN]

70. So there's only one "atheist," and "adulteresses" are in trouble, but not

adulterers?
What about Trekkies? Why are homosexuals and lesbians listed separately? Isn't "luke warm" supposed to be one word? Is that green stuff on the sides of the poster pictures of sea monkeys? Are sea monkeys going to hell? My questions must be answered, damn it!

[Maddy McCall]

73. Excellent point-by-point analysis, LMN.

:hi:

[arewenotdemo]

115. Sea monkey adulteresses, yeah.

Hell wouldn't be the same without them.

[hyphenate]

75. How come some of them are singular?

Evolutionist
Satanist
Abortionist
Seventh Day Adventist
Jehovah's Witness
Atheist
Buddhist

Are they trying to get one specific one to repent, or do they only care that one might possibly repent?

:rofl:

[B3Nut]

80. Fundies, especially the totally-braindead type who made this sign

are not known for consistency or competence in punctuation, spelling, or grammar. That sign is either the work of an Onion-caliber satirist or a rabid King-James-Only fundamentalist Baptist or Pentecostal. I've had run-ins with this type before...they're painful to behold.

Todd in Cheesecurdistan

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

105. Edge-Yew-Kay-Shun is the Debbil's Tool...

MM... Don'cha know! :dunce:
MMMy money's on "rabid King-James-Only fundamentalist"... definitely has the look of their screed... :shrug:

[B3Nut]

131. You're probably correct ;)

After all, to a Fundie, a mind is a terrible thing! :D

It's all so pathetic and sad, really...

Todd in Beerbratistan

[PassingThrough]

79. Wow, who did he leave out???

[no name no slogan]

81. I'll take one of each

wait-- make that two of each. It's good to have a spare.

[RandomKoolzip]

82. I love the lax attitude towards pluralizing in that sign.

Apparently there's only one atheist we have to worry about, but more than one Mason.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

107. Well, let's see...

MM... there's Jackie Mason, and Perry Mason...
MM... there's Mason Williams, and Mason Prophett...
MM... there's Mason Mints, Mason Shoes, and the Mason Vineyards... oh, and don't forget Mason Street!
MM... anyone care to add to the list?

[mark11727]

124. Mason Reese...?

[Richard Steele]

83. I am only six of the things on that list. I need to get out more!

[Hugin]

85. Hey! I've got my very own category of eeeeeevvviiilll now!

How cool is that!

:7

[Hugin]

86. We're #1! We're #1!

Wow! The top of the list no less!

I'm grabbing myself a copy of this picture.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

88. My goodness! I also fit into multiple categories too!

Never too late to join the party! This one will last forever, and it will always rock!

:woohoo: :woohoo:

[Brewman_Jax]

89. I think I saw that guy my last visit

in Dec. 2004. I asked if he was sure that he's going to heaven. He was sure. I said that I was going to get another beer to make damn sure that I was NOT going to heaven. :beer:

:rofl:

[LibertyLover]

91. So - Adulterers

are apparently ok with this guy's Deity of Choice and will be going to heaven. Who knew? I guess his God really does prefer men. I do love the mixture of singular and plural nouns on the sign. I can't decide if it Buddhist Evolutionist Catholics who are going to hell or the Satanist, abortionist, 7th Day Adventist, Jehovah's Witness Liberals. On reconsideration perhaps its those Atheist Rich People. So many combinations, so little time.

[LisaLynne]

92. I was just thinking the same thing.

:eyes:

[Akoto]

94. Congratulations, bisexuals! We didn't make the list! lol

:D

[liberalitch]

95. God!!!! Six things on that sign apply to me alone!

Democrat
liberal
buddhist
Rock-n-roller
pot head
evolutionist

[IA_Seth]

97. Geez, 9 of those apply to me! n/t

[progressoid]

99. Dang, I'm only seven of them. Do I still get in?

[Donald Ian Rankin]

127. I hope so - I only score three.

Or possibly 4 - "abortionist" could be meant to mean "someone who supports abortion rights".

I lose points by being English, which means that I'm technically a Labour voter, not a "Demoncrat".

Hmm. I reckon the maximum possible score without self-contradiction would be 14: A demoncrat, drunk, pothead, homosexual, lesbian, masonic, evolutionist, abortionist, Seventh Day Adventist, liberal, fornicating, prosperity preaching, rich, worldly once-saved-always-saved lukewarm Christian. Anyone know anyone like that?

I'm not totally sure that Seventh Day Adventists let lesbian women be prosperity preachers, though.

[DarkmoonIkonoklast]

100. After spending a good portion of the past day...

:popcorn: :beer:
MM... checking the categories on the sign against my personal address book, I relaxed. :evilgrin:
MMNone of my friends were omitted from the guest-list! :grouphug:
MMThe farewell/welcome home :party: should be bitchin'! :toast:
MMNow, if I can just find parking for the Ark! :loveya:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

111. I think it says "Demoncrats"

Who are these freakazoids?

[Guy Fawkes]

113. Note: Adulteresses but not adulterers... hmmmm.

[xchrom]

126. that can be fixed with some eyeshadow and lipstick

and a dress from walmart.

[Left Is Write]

114. What if you fall into more than one category?

Are you in SUPER BIG trouble?

[BiggJawn]

117. What, no HEATHENS????

What a RELIEF!

See what happened when Ray-Gun cut funding for mental hospitals? they wander the streets.

[liberal N proud]

122. I am guessing the owner of the sign did not have fun at Mardi Gras

[Strong Atheist]

123. ROFLMAO!

:thumbsup:

[The Animator]

129. I am reminded of a time when someone tried to save me at work.

I used to draw caricatures on International Drive in Orlando. I had pretty much just started that gig, and had completed my very first display sample Darth Maul. All the other pictures at the stand were done by the owners, or more experienced caricature artists working there.

The question would always come up "Did you draw all these?" and I had had to say "No, this is all the work of others who work at this stand." But that was all over now, cause I finally had a sample of my own I could point to. And I was quite proud of it too.

A couple days later a girl came up to me and asked "Did you draw all these?" and I said.
"No, but I did darw this one." And pointed to the brand new freshly hung caricature of Darth Maul on the display. As I proudly pointed out my work, an man in his mid forties was passing by.

"Oooo, that's Satan." He said.

I replied. "No, it's Darth Maul... get out more."

"No anything with horns is indicative of Satan." He responded.

"Riiight, so a Triceritops would be representative of Satan then?" I inquired.

"Yes." and, he was pretty sure about it too. I realized at that moment, that I had him.

"So a dear or a gazelle would be indicative of Satan also?" I asked further.

"Now your just being sarcastic."

"No I started being sarcastic when I brought up the Triceritops, try and keep up with me OK?"

"Do you believe in God?" ... I know where this is going.

"I'll have to get back to you on that one."

"If you were to die right now, where would you go?"

"If I were to die right now?"

"Yes."

"Probably a cemetery, or more than likely, a morgue."

"Up or down?" He seemed to be losing his patience... up or down? is he friggin' kidding me?

"Well knowing my luck, if only my choices are up or down, I'd end up going sideways." Yes, my life is a spiritual Wonkavator. Clearly this was not an acceptable answer for him, he just stared at me and waited for a more serious response... he didn't get one.

"Well, in all honesty, probably down... ya know... about six feet, then I'd stop."

I don't remember the rest of the conversation, it was so many years ago... but I'm pretty certain I'd thoroughly pissed him off. I was pissed off too. I was trying to earn a living and he was coming up to me with this crap, so I started drawing again. I drew a demonic looking skull with a shitload of horns.

"You wanna see horns!" I thought to myself "I'll show you some fuckin' horns!" This was basically a study for a character of my own creation. A skeleton upon which I would build muscle and flesh, a true terror.

So if the guy came back and said "Oooo Satan."

I could say "Hell no, this guy could kick Satan's ass! Look at how many horns he has. I mean he's a really horny bastard ain't he?"

[Bill McBlueState]

130. Is anyone here not on the list?

I appear seven times -- I think. (What's a "Rock & Roller"? Do you have to actually be in a band?)

[toddaa]

132. No Daoists in Hell!!!

Aha!!! A loophole. Look's those of us practicing the ancient art of wu wei sneak in.