Since we're all a bunch of pervs,

[LaraMN]

:bounce:
Present a statement that can NOT be construed as or twisted into something dirty.

Ready.....GO!

[Taverner]

1. Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing....

:P

[LaraMN]

3. Okay, but you used the word "brief" in there...

that's way too easy.

[taterguy]

2. I would enjoy seeing you with no clothes on

[Taverner]

Except a pair of boots

[LaraMN]

8. Come ON! Get in the spirit!

You guys are ruining my thread!

:rofl: :spank:

[LaraMN]

5. You just want to fail my challenge, don't you?!

:rofl: :spank:

[taterguy]

16. are you implying there's something dirty about your body?

Maybe you're the one who should be spanked

[LaraMN]

21. Oh please!

:rofl:

[RetroLounge]

4. Wearing boots is very practical in Minnesota...

:shrug:

RL

[Kid OfThe Black Hole]

7. in keeping with the theme of this thread

you meant "knocking boots" :)

[LaraMN]

12. YOU CANNOT use the word "boots" in one of my threads,

and keep it clean!:spank:
This is just turning into a big spanking thread.

[RetroLounge]

81. Really?

Now how would I know that?

:shrug:

RL

[LaraMN]

84. I can't imagine.

:evilgrin:

Your saintly reputation is always at the forefront of my mind.

[RetroLounge]

88. saintly reputation

:rofl:

RL

[azmouse]

6. Is that my foot-long hot dog?

[LaraMN]

14. NO!

:spank:

[anarch]

9. I could really use a good screw

to fix this damn office chair! It's all loose and stuff.

[LaraMN]

17. NO!

:spank:

[anarch]

23. sorry, let me try again: I think I'd like to screw in my office chair

There, now. There's no way anyone could misconstrue what I'm saying now, right?

O8)

[LaraMN]

30. Trying...... not to encourage.....

Aughhh!!!

Did you bring the necessary tools?
Is there a mirror so you can see what you're doing?
Is anyone going to watch you do it?
How long do you expect the screw to last?
Do you need a new screw? Is the old one getting stipped?

Aughhh! It's a sickness!:banghead:

[billyskank]

10. I must have told you the one about the six-inch pianist

oh, wait.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

11. OK......I distinctly am getting a challenge!

How odd....almost everything I can think up.....

Can be twisted!


:woohoo:

[LaraMN]

13. Apparently, I have to offer an example:

:eyes:

...............................
Oh damn it!

[swimboy]

15. Sorry Lara

(I'll try to think of something to meet your challenge.)

[LaraMN]

19. I hate to do this, but...

:spank:

[Tom Kitten]

18. There's nothing better than...

Eating a banger for breakfast.

[LaraMN]

22. Aughh!

[Kurovski]

58. Dipping into a nice hot Shepard's Pie

comes up the rear in a close 2nd when sampling English dishes.

[billyskank]

20. The square of the hypotenuse is equal to

the sum of the squares of the other two sides.

How's that? :hi:

[LaraMN]

24. Anyone care to challenge?

It's the closest one I've seen. (also the only valid attempt, thus far)

[billyskank]

25. You're welcome

:)

[swimboy]

37. Well, sure, Math!

Three times twenty-three equals . . . d'oh!

[imperialismispasse]

60. Well

I think you could do something dirty with "two sides" but I'm not up to the challenge :D

[Oeditpus Rex]

89. 'Sum of the squares' makes me think of

Republicans boffing.



Next.

:evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

38. "The square of the hypotenuse is equal to, etc,"

It all fits.

[AirmensMom]

26. My pussy cat had a hot hunk of meat for her "afternoon delight" snack.

It's all perfectly innocent. :shrug:

[Radical Activist]

27. My girlfriend is moving. I like her box.

[LaraMN]

42. That is both dirty, AND makes no sense.

:spank: and :spank:

[Kurovski]

48. Sure it does...

he likes the box she sticks stuff in when she makes her move.

[LaraMN]

51. Oh!

Bad!
:spank: :spank:

[Kurovski]

59. Stop banging me with that big stick!

[Radical Activist]

50. It makes sense! she's moving to a new place. I'm going to help

stuff her box.

[Callalily]

28. Oh LaraMN

I'm having a HARD time coming UP with something. But truly, I'm trying really HARD!
Forgive me, I'm just giddy right now with my snow day and all.

[LaraMN]

32. You should be giddy!

Kids shouldn't get all the snow days!:bounce:

[Callalily]

54. Au Contraire!

It's not always the kids that get off! It's us working stiffs too!

[anarch]

29. I tried to think of something not dirty, but it's too hard

And the more I read this thread, the harder it gets. :shrug:

[LaraMN]

31. *snort*

Then by all means, stop reading, before you explode!
(giggle!)

[billyskank]

33. I'll try again

The postulates of special relativity are: (1) there is no preferred or 'absolute' frame of reference, and (2) the speed of light is constant for all observers irrespective of their relative velocities.

Don't tell me I am the least perverted member of the lounge? :o

[Kurovski]

40. Yeah, I like to watch, too.

The faster, the better.

[donheld]

34. I love watching men take a shower!

:evilgrin:

[Left Is Write]

35. Impossible.

There is no statement - no matter how innocuous - that cannot be turned into something naughty.

[LaraMN]

39. I'm going to have to concur.

In which case, I think I've found a new tactic for stomaching Dubya's speeches.

[billyskank]

41. For when you've run out of booze?

;)

[LaraMN]

44. and objects to throw at the teevee.

:P

[billyskank]

36. Newton's three laws of motion are:

(1) A body at rest- oh, wait.

[swimboy]

43. Christmas songs, right?

Chestnuts roasting on an open . . . What?

[LaraMN]

47. Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus...

oh lord, the kids' holiday programs are tainted forever.:banghead:

[Kurovski]

45. The sun shines bright on my old Kentucky home.

[DS1]

46. I am.

[Kurovski]

53. ...therefore I think filthy thoughts.

[swimboy]

49. Very serious entry, for real.

The children were told they had to memorize the books of the Bible, in order, for recitation at the Lenten supper.


:evilfrown:





Perv is more fun anyway. :evilgrin:

[Kurovski]

56. Because upon placing the books in order, the story of the Bible reaches

its natural climax.

Edit: it's/its

[mdmc]

90. "..and he beget her, and she beget him..."

:kick:

[texas1928]

52. Can you stop the bus and let my brother Jack off.

:evilgrin:

[anarch]

55. ah, highlighting the importance of proper capitalization

I like this example...where capitalization is the difference between:

"I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse."

and

"I had to help my uncle jack off a horse."

[Kurovski]

57. So Uncle Jack is in one version , and in at least one regard,

a man similar to George W. Bush.

(He "milks horses" on the "ranch".)

[madinmaryland]

61. Four score and seven years ago

our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead who struggled here have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living rather to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us--that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion--that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain, that this nation under God shall have a new birth of freedom, and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.

:hi:

[Kurovski]

64. That's more than one statement, but here are some words to play with:

score, concieved, proposition, long endure, fitting, full measure.

You're just not playing fair. :-)

[Strong Atheist]

62. I think, therfore I am. nt.

[no name no slogan]

63. I've been pounding my Wang all day

We really need to upgrade our hardware

[Kurovski]

65. Does a wang get a hardrive like other models?

[In_The_Wind]

66. I enjoy

getting up in the morning to watch the sunrise instead of staying up to watch the dawn.


How's that? huh

[Kurovski]

67. When you get up, it's important to stay up.

[In_The_Wind]

73. But you didn't say for how long.

[Kurovski]

77. Until the evening comes, of course.

[In_The_Wind]

83. Of course.

Until sunset and beyond.

[LaraMN]

68. That one was tainted from the get-go...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4723512#4724394

[Kurovski]

69. Yep, a total set-up.

[In_The_Wind]

71. But ~ wait a minute. Look at it this way:

www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=4723512#4723674

I'm totally innocent I tell you!

[LaraMN]

74. No way, Joani! I'm not buyin'!

You are innately pure, but hardly innocent! :rofl: :hug:

[In_The_Wind]

80. Oh My!

So My disguise IS working!

[Kurovski]

76. Yeah? Then what's the story on that mini-skirted flirt in your post?

Hmmm?

[In_The_Wind]

82. That was then. This is now. A lady is entitled to change her mind!

[Kurovski]

70. Clean: "I enjoy drinking coffee while reading the morning paper."

[underpants]

72. Strap-on Jesus toast

What did I win?

[LaraMN]

75. Snow Angel pictures.

NOT!!!:P

[Kurovski]

78. Even I'm disturbed by that one.

:D

[Kurovski]

79. LaraMN, thanks for patiently letting me butt-in with my posts.

--so long! :hi:

[LaraMN]

85. "Butt-in."

Fabulous way to depart, K. :rofl: :hi:

[TheMightyFavog]

86. Nice palm, I read a great deal of pleasure in your future.

End of Line.

[GalleryGod]

87. When you're having more than one!

[mdmc]

91. GO!

those that find it necessary to engage in verbal communication at inappropriate times will also find it necessary to practice better self control through the medium of written composition...

[yvr girl]

92. People should go to church on Sunday.

What are you going to do with that, Smartypants?

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

93. That's TOO easy

That's where the best meat is. There's no sluttier slut than a repressed slut.