May I go all "Oprah" on you all regarding the hearts?

[Arugula Latte]

Okay. Here is the thing.

When I pulled up DU on Monday morning and found someone had given me a heart, I don't know, it was just very surprising and touching. I have no idea who did it, but it really gave me a lift thinking that someone on DU had thought specifically of me and had taken the time to honor me in some way. Then I got two more hearts, and I was truly floored. I know they're just little red icons, but, they symbolize something -- that, among the thousands of people posting, reading, and lurking on DU, someone thought of me -- or you.

Now, since then, I have read dozens and dozens of posts from people who were surprised by a heart. There were many comments like "I didn't think I'd get one" and "It made my week" and "It brought a tear to my eye." Is it silly to get all sentimental about this little fundraising gimmick? Maybe so. But I think the whole phenomenon taps into something deeper; perhaps that many people feel slightly invisible, and, when they're shown that they have made an impact on another person's life, it lifts them up.

I have mixed feelings about Oprah, but I do think that in many ways she does a lot of good. She tells the story of when she was a little girl, and there was no money for X-mas. Some nuns, I believe, stopped by her house on X-mas Eve and brought some food and a few presents. Oprah has related how that gesture was so immensely meaningful to her; it told her: "We thought of you. You matter." The incident later inspired her to go to South Africa, give presents and clothing to hundreds and hundreds of destitute children, and work on creating a girls' school there.

Anyway, just a little observation that sometimes these types of small random acts of kindness really do make a huge difference.

Thanks, DU. You are all wonderful and have made my life far richer. :grouphug:

[lizziegrace]

1. I agree completely

As much as you think it wouldn't matter, it does. Life is so chaotic and stressful and something as small being noticed is so very important. My grandmother used to tell me over and over "it's the little things" and I'm finally beginning to understand what she meant.

:hug:

[Arugula Latte]

6. Definitely. My mother told me the same thing.

And I believe Gilbran (okay I can't spell it and I'm too lazy to Google it) anyway, the dude who wrote "The Prophet" expressed the same sentiment.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

2. Now I'm slobbering all over my keyboard...

:cry: It does mean a lot...I know I was shocked by the thoughtfulness.
If we counted the number of hearts that sit on every post on DU right now, it'd still not be as large as the number of kind-hearted DUers. :loveya:

[Arugula Latte]

7. Now I'm teary too.

:cry:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear Oregonian!

Your analysis is spot on! Now you know I've gotten a lot of hearts....

BUT....I am still overwhelmed, and slightly embarrassed, to have gotten them!

"These small random acts of kindness really do make a huge difference." Absolutely!

It really is all about the LOVE.....and the Lounge has love to share, and to spare.....



:loveya: :grouphug:

[Arugula Latte]

8. Thanks, CP!

And we all know you do much more than your fair share of spreading the love around the Lounge! :loveya:

[ThomCat]

4. That is a wonderful point.

Thank you.

[Arugula Latte]

10. You are quite welcome!

:hi:

[graywarrior]

5. I felt even better giving them than getting them.

It was really one of the best ideas yet!

[lizziegrace]

9. Me too

I wish I could have given more!

[Arugula Latte]

11. I loved that, too.

One person I gave a heart to posted a thread thanking me -- although s/he didn't know it was moi. It really tickled me.

[graywarrior]

15. There are so many I wanted to give one to.

I don't even like the people I associate with every day that much.

[Shine]

12. What goes around, comes around.....

Nice post, O. Now is that "O" for "Oprah" or "Oregonian" ?? heheheh. ;)


:thumbsup:

[Arugula Latte]

19. Thanks!

That's right, girlfriend. I'm the West Coast Oprah! ;)

[jus_the_facts]

13. Hear Hear....

:loveya: :grouphug: :loveya:

[Arugula Latte]

24. Back atcha!

:loveya: :hug:

[Taverner]

14. Nothing wrong with Oprah

I'm not a fan, but she does good. At the same time she has major issues, but she admits it.

[Arugula Latte]

23. I do like her honesty about her own weaknesses.

Why anyone would need five or however many huge houses she has is beyond me, but at least she gives big $$ to charities.

[Taverner]

31. Low self esteem is a mysterious thing

It works its way into people's lives in strange ways - - and she herself has admitted self esteem issues.

[ikojo]

16. I totally agree....often times I wonder whether I fit in

with any group and seeing that someone thought of ME and GAVE me a heart put a big smile on my face. It's been rough at work since December when 17 people were laid off and I want to thank the secret donator for making me smile the biggest smile of 2006!

:toast: :grouphug:

[Arugula Latte]

21. Glad it brightened your life a bit!

:toast:

[Divameow77]

17. What a nice post "O"

Sounds to me like you deserve every one of those hearts you received, and then some. :-)

[Arugula Latte]

20. Aw, shucks.

Thanks. :blush:

[Misunderestimator]

18. I've been very touched by the hearts I've been given...

but I still feel for some who don't get any... through no fault of their own, aside from perhaps the fact that they might be shy or not as verbose as the rest of us. In any case... I get where you're coming from... DU has made my life more rich as well... lately more challenging... but definitely more rich in the long run.

[Arugula Latte]

22. I know. I feel for those who did not receive one.

:( That's the negative side of this ... It brings back high school for a lot of people. I wish there were a way to get around that.

[SeattleGirl]

25. Very nice post, Oregonian

I feel the same way you do. Yes, they're just little cartoon heart icons, but what they REALLY are is acknowledgement that we have been noticed, that something we said touched someone in some way, whether in a sweet way, a funny way, or whatever.

I loved giving mine away, and do wish I could have given more, but my income is somewhat limited right now. Still, I enjoyed giving them out, and yes, getting them too.

:loveya:

[Arugula Latte]

28. Thanks, SeattleGirl

I enjoy your posts here on DU. ~PortlandGirl

[Skittles]

26. I specifically looked for DUers who did not have hearts

except for my beloved Oneighty, that's where all my hearts went. I suspect this is true of many DUers; we are an amazing bunch!

[Arugula Latte]

29. Yes, I did the same.

But I would have loved to have given one to Oneighty; he is such a unique voice on DU. :hi:

[grace0418]

27. Isn't funny how the littlest thing can really make your day?

And yet we don't do those little things often enough. I've been trying lately to say at least one nice thing to my coworkers, friends and family every time I speak to them. Nothing huge, just "That's a very nice color on you" or "Well you've always been a great cook so I'm sure that was delicious" or "That design looked great!" (I'm a graphic designer). Something appropriate to the situation and person, but nice just the same. It's amazing how people have responded to that since I started doing it.

Anyway, thank you for posting this. I feel the same way. I was very touched by the two hearts I received.

:hi:

[Arugula Latte]

30. And isn't it amazing how

you can remember either a compliment that was probably "no big deal" for the person to say, even years later? (Likewise, a negative comment can fester for years.)

I'll never forget in seventh grade when I was just figuring out that there were such specific layers of "popular" and "other." I was not amongst the popular (not a reject; but just a middle-tier semi-nobody). One day I was standing near a group of popular girls (not with them, mind you) and a popular boy came up. For some reason he had a perfume bottle, and he was going down the row having each girl get a whiff of the perfume. He got to me, and instead of turning away as I expected, he put it under my nose and smiled. I was so grateful I almost burst into tears. It sounds so silly, but there was a lot of nastiness going around at that school (many, many affluent kids who were not kind to the middle class kids). So, for him it was a nothing, probably forgotten that very day. For me, almost 30 years later, it still resonates.

[grace0418]

35. That's awesome! I know exactly what you mean.

:hi:

[radwriter0555]

32. And some of us continue to learn that we're still invisible no matter how

much we do, no matter how kind we are, no matter how much we think or try to contribute or try to be a part of something, large or small.

Peripherals. Sometimes life is meant for some to be lived on the peripheral.

[I Have A Dream]

33. This is why I really didn't like the hearts, radwriter0555.

I think that the only reason that I had any hearts is because I'm active in one of the groups. It seems to be a good way to get to know people a bit more personally. There are so many people in the larger groups that it's really difficult to be more than a number.

Maybe getting involved in one of the groups in which you have an interest might be a good way to feel less like a number. (If you're already doing this, please forgive me. I'm just trying to find a solution to a problem that you're having that existed for me also.)

I'm going to be looking for your posts, radwriter0555. You're more than a peripheral person to me.

:hug:

[grace0418]

34. You're definitely not peripheral to me.

I always read your posts when I see them. I think you're awesome!

[Arugula Latte]

36. You're not invisible!

I'm sorry that happened ... I kept thinking about that, because there are a lot of people on DU and not everybody got one ... That was definitely a big negative about the whole thing. Anyway, I wish I had seen one of your posts to give you a heart when I had 'em :( ...

I recognize your screenname and I like reading your posts! :hug: