Christmas Gifts and Obligation

[bertha katzenengel]

I'm keeping a list of gifts I've received from co-workers and clients so that I don't forget to thank anyone formally. So far I have six thank-yous to write. Knowing the people I work with, there will be many more. I appreciate everyone's kindness tremendously. I do not need gifts, and what's more, I am always surprised by them.

I am giving a select few a Christmas card with a personal note and containing a print of one of my best sunset photos. My bosses are getting the same print framed.

My family has already decided to do some christmas-style gift giving in May -- besides Christmas, we ALL (eight of us) of our birthdays are within three months of Christmas. And we are all flat broke. I'm sending them all some photo prints and I'm sure they'll send something little in kind. I'm sending my Dad & uncle the same photo my co-workers are getting (sans frames). I'm also mailing a few photo-cards (not the sunset) to several friends back home.

That's it.

I do not feel obliged to give lots of gifts. I do not feel the stress of Christmas shopping or wrapping or schlepping bags full of presents. I don't worry, "is she going to leave for the holiday before I have time to get her gift together and take it to work?"

I just don't feel that obligation. If someone is put out because I didn't spend money on him/her, that is his/her problem. Not mine.

What are your thoughts? Do you feel obliged? Do you act on that feeling? If you don't feel obliged, how do you react if/when you get attitude?

[Gormy Cuss]

1. What are you, an adult or something?

Congratulations for understanding it's about the free offering of gifts, not a contest to see who gives or receives the biggest pile of loot.


ps: Is my present coming by express mail or FedEx? Just asking.;)



on edit: to answer your question about getting attitude, I smile politely and ignore it.

[skygazer]

2. I do not feel obligated and haven't for years

As far as I'm concerned, a gift is something you give because you care about someone not because you expect something in return. I don't give any gifts at Christmas - I can't afford it and I don't like feeling obligated to purchase gifts just because it's a particular time of year. I don't celebrate Christmas so it seems foolish to give gifts at that time just because others are doing so.

However, throughout the year, I often pick up gifts for people when I see things I think they'd like. Those who know me and care about me know I don't celebrate the holiday - some of them give me gifts because they do celebrate it. I'm grateful for their kindness but don't feel obligated to respond in kind.

I do send out cards at Christmas, only because it's the one time of year that I touch base with my far-flung family - kind of a way of saying, "Hi. I'm still here."

One of the things that bothers me about Christmas is the way people do let the feeling of obligation get to them - "Oh, the Walters' sent us a gift - we'd better get one for them." That's not what it's supposed to be about.